I keep thinking one day I’ll wake up and finally be myself, again. People told me that sometimes after having a baby it takes a while to fully feel like yourself, again. As usual, I was sure I wouldn’t be in that percentage, but lo and behold, here I am wondering if I’ll ever feel like pre-baby CeeCee.

I’ll probably never feel entirely like pre-baby me, honestly. How could I? Pre-baby me didn’t have an adorable, snuggly baby boy. Now I do and having him has completely changed me. He has changed who I am, how I act, how I think, how I worry/stress out/panic/cry. I will never be the same.

But I still want to feel ‘normal’ (if i ever was normal), again. I’m just a little off and it can be tough. Also I have anxiety that is THROUGH THE ROOF. I guess I don’t really know how to explain how I feel. Its just weird and can be frustrating. Also I had no idea that having a baby would make me terrified. I fear nearly everything, now. What the heck? I can play out these scary scenarios in my mind then go about the rest of my day/week/life scared that it will happen, no matter how realistic or totally unrealistic it is.


Do all new moms/moms with newish babies feel this way? When do you start feeling like yourself again? Do you have advice? Should I worry? Should I embrace it? Should I just lay in bed and sob like I kind of feel like doing for no reason?

Oh boy, motherhood. This post-baby self is crazy.

{& so is this post — sorry its…awkward and whiney and probably really lame. venting needed to happen}




One thought on “AHHHHH!

  1. Absolutely. I worry about dropping Reese off Angel’s Landing, even though I’ll NEVER EVER go there! It’s stupid and crazy but it happens. Did I already tell you about the book Daring Greatly? Definitely a must read for feeling vulnerable and scared. Loved it.

    You’re doing great, mama. Worry means you have love AND brains which is pretty good in my book.

    Liked by 1 person

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