Full Mind, Full Heart

This is my new mantra when it comes to anxiety.

My anxiety comes from worry. I worry about everything. Its exhausting and is probably aging me and forming some gnarly ulcers in my stomach. My brain is constantly full of worry, fear and ugh. I don’t even like talking about what I worry so much about because in my twisted mind I think if I talk about it, its like accepting that it could happen. My anxiety got worse when I had my son, likely because it was one more person to love so much that I constantly worry for them, their safety, their happiness, etc. I’ve always done this with my family, then it upped when I met Wild Man and his family, it worsened when I married him, then it just got plain old awful and uncontrollable when cute little H came into our lives. Its consuming and gross – but its also my life so I have to find ways to deal with it.

I have been able to get it under more control lately thanks to really dedicating myself to morning and night time prayer and going several weeks without missing my scripture study. I’m so thankful for this but also a little annoyed with myself that it has taken me this long to figure out that this would work so well. But whatever, at least I’ve got it down now.

Another thing I’ve started telling myself lately that really has helped me is, “Full mind, full heart.” It probably sounds kind of silly but it helps calm me when I feel anxiety overcoming me.

To me the phrase means this: How lucky I am to have so much to worry about. The fact that I have such wonderful things that I love so dearly in my life to the point of paralyzing worry/fear (haha) is actually really incredible and makes me feel very blessed and fortunate. My mind is full of worry and anxiety, but its only because my heart is so full of love for my people. Maybe it doesn’t make sense, but hey I’ve got to find some way to make the situation light! And for me – its working.

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xoxo

ceeceesparkles

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