The greatest accomplishment in my life began on November 20th, 2015 – or I guess technically sometime in February of 2015. I became a mom. I knew I wanted to be a mom from as early on as I can recall. I knew I’d love it and I was pretty sure I’d do a good job at it. Motherhood has brought on some challenges I didn’t foresee (psycho anxiety, paralyzing fear, frantically searching for a way to learn a way to cope with all the unsolicited advice and critical opinions people give, etc) but its also just as great as I hoped it would be. Actually its better. I have only been a mom for (almost) seven months but I have no doubt that this is exactly what I’m supposed to do with my life. I’m meant to be a mom. Nothing brings me more joy. I can’t wait to have more babies and see where the incredibly fun, messy, tiring, awesome journey takes our family.
I love the picture below. This was taken a few hours after I had my sweet baby boy and was about to be wheeled down to my recovery room and out of the delivery room. I vividly remember this moment and I never want to forget it. I held my sweet son, my first baby in my arms and the love I had for him was so powerful it was overwhelming. Its a good thing I was sitting in that wheelchair because I’m sure had I been standing I would have fallen over from the power I felt inside my heart. There is no love like a love a mother has for her child. Its incredible. My little sister actually took video of the nurse wheeling me and H down to our room we stayed in for the next couple days and the video sort of makes me laugh because I am so zoned out – completely in my own world. It was a perfect world where the only thing on my mind was this fresh, angelic baby in my arms. I could feel my heart wrap around him as I kept my face next to his and breathed in that sweet new baby smell. It was pure heaven. Next to the delivery that was the closest to heaven I’ve ever been since here on earth.
I am so honored to watch H as he continues to grow bigger and stronger, learn more and develop more. It is incredible to witness all a baby does – in my opinion these little people are geniuses! Every time H reaches a new month of life or passes a new milestone I get really emotional. Emotional because I am so proud of him and my heart could burst from pride, but also because my baby is slowly (actually very quickly) getting older. I can see now why people say motherhood is bittersweet. But even more than that, it is awe-inspiring. I have been given a very real taste of the love Heavenly Father has for all of His children since becoming a mother myself and it is so humbling, comforting and special.
I’m so happy being H’s mom. I can’t wait to add some more little humans to our crew in the future as well (not a pregnancy announcement) and feel that insane love grow and burn inside my body.