I’ve been a little bummed lately. Its just a slump that will pass eventually, but I’m currently in the wait-it-out part and I hate that I’m starting to feel a little defeated by this. I’m letting everything everyone says get to me. I’m being extra hard on myself. I’m feeling like people have expectations of me and I’m not meeting them. I am feeling like some people are being disrespectful of the rules/boundaries I have for my son. I feel like because I only have one baby, my first baby, not all people are giving me credit for trying hard to be a good mom. A lot of times I’m hearing that I’ll be different and less worried, anxious and cautious as I have more children and H is the ‘unfortunate child’ because he’s our guinea pig baby, but I’m not brave enough to stand up for myself and say that I actually very well could be the same because I know who I am – I’m the biggest worrier and a full fledged anxiety queen – and I’m ok with it! Why can’t everyone else be? And even if I am a ‘different’ mom with my next kids, does that really make it ok to make fun of the way I mom, currently? Why is it so simple for some people to bash on the new moms? I feel like I’m letting myself be walked all over because I’m being too shy to confront anyone, even if its a small matter. I go to bed every night with a pit in my stomach because I feel like I failed during the day.
I hate it
I hate it
I hate it
Whenever I am in a crappy mood like this I am weird and I channel my inner teenage girl and turn to Pinterest to find some quotes that hopefully uplift and inspire me. I really like to search ‘LDS Quotes’ and they can put a little bit of brightness back into my day. I couldn’t think of anything to post today so I decided (after spilling my whiney, complain emotions) to post a few of the quotes I found that put a smile on my face.
That last one, man…
I feel like before you think I’m totally a hopeless, sad mess I need to remind everyone how lucky I am that I have my sweet, happy baby boy and my kind, caring husband. Thank goodness for them – I am #blessed
Before I go, just a reminder: Be nice. Don’t say mean, judgmental things to people because you don’t know how it could effect their happiness. Say nice things, keep negative opinions to yourself. Smile, be happy, lets uplift instead of bring down.