If you know me personally then its no secret to you that I’m my parents biggest fan. I mean, obviously I am biased, but I swear they’re the best parents ever. They’ve always been phenomenal examples to me, but it wasn’t until I got married that I viewed them in a new, different way. The day I got married they also became total #marriagegoals for me because I think they have a perfect, raw and real relationship. Lately I have been thinking a lot about the things I have learned from observing their marriage and realized just how lucky I am to be able to watch such a strong, awesome marriage for the past 25 years and counting.
(this is one of my very favorite pictures of my parents from when they were dating)
A FEW LESSONS ABOUT MARRIAGE I’VE LEARNED FROM MY PARENTS:
- Be real with your spouse. Say whats on your mind, bring a matter up thats bothering you, express what you like and don’t like and don’t be shy about being your real self with your own real, unique opinions and thoughts.
- Laugh with each other. I love seeing my parents laugh with each other. You can just tell it drives them closer together and bonds them even more. Because of this I have always tried to make sure Wild Man and I have at least one good laugh a day.
- It isn’t always sunshine and rainbows and thats ok. There will be arguments and disagreements and life won’t always be a piece of cake – but the thing about a good marriage is you figure out how to work with each other during the darker times and once the light starts shining again, you come out even stronger.
- Take time to be with each other. My parents go on dates with each other a lot and I know that is special, exciting times for them.
- Communicate. Nothing ever is solved or gets fixed by giving each other the silent treatment.
- Don’t be so serious. Its boring to be serious. Have fun with each other, have inside jokes, be sarcastic. Make your marriage fun and lively.
- Be realistic. Sometimes you’re going to have to have awkward conversations, you’re going to have to admit to doing stupid things, you’ll have to be 100% open and honest with this person and it can be scary. From observing my parents I’ve learned that they have accepted the fact that marriage doesn’t solve every problem – it creates a lot, it brings about challenges and it requires hard work, embarrassing moments and a lot of vulnerability and bravery. Once you accept that (or start working towards accepting that) things are going to go a lot smoother!
- Take vacations. In our family, 9 times out of 10 this means go to Disneyland or Disney World. You know how vacations are though, they’re bonding, exciting, full of energy and create awesome memories you can’t always make back at home.
- Say ‘I love you.’ I know this is common knowledge but I have vivid memories of my parents telling each other this and thinking about how cool it was that my parents loved each other. I know not all children have this, so I make sure to count this as one of my blessings and I hope my children will too as they hear Wild Man and I say it to one another.
- Be best friends. You’ve vowed to stick with this person forever and thats a huge deal. Can you imagine not being BFF’s with your spouse? I’m comforted in knowing that someday when my parents become empty-nesters they’ll still be so happy because they’ll have each other.