As you prepare to become a mom you hear a lot of stories and receive a lot of advice. I heard many times that you would get a lot of opinions, unsolicited advice and suggestions – much of which could end up sounding more like insults. While I was pregnant I wasn’t too worried about this because I figured it’d just roll right off my back and I’d pay no mind to it. My kids are just that – mine – so it didn’t matter what anyone else thought or told me. Now that my son is here I still totally believe that and I believe that my husband and I are the only two people who really know whats best for our son, but I was wrong in thinking that everyones comments wouldn’t effect me. They do not just roll right off my back. Instead I internalize everyones comments, their advice and their questionable looks. I’m sure a lot of it I’m making a bigger deal than it actually is, but I know for a fact that other times I’m not. Its so upsetting to me that people think they know how to raise and nurture your child better than you, the parents, do.
I have struggled with not letting peoples words get me down. Poor Wild Man hears me complain about this all the time. But as I’ve been thinking more and more about it I have realized something – I can’t change people (dang) There are just those people you have in your life or you’ll meet randomly in Target that are going to say things that are going to sting and make steam shoot out your ears. Thats just how it goes.
The only thing I can do is change myself.
I am very thin-skinned. I am a softy, I’m very sensitive and fragile (ew that sounds dumb). Somehow I need to work on thickening my skin when it comes to motherhood drama. I’ll be honest, I’m not entirely sure how I’ll do this, but I know I’ve got to. Thank goodness for prayer, right?! I also plan on reminding myself each night as I wind down (hopefully in a hot bubble bath) that I am my sons mom and he was sent to me and I know whats best for him and I do what I believe to be best for him. And most importantly, he loves me and he is happy and healthy.
I know I’ve said this before in past blog posts but I’m saying it again because its so important to me:
Be careful with moms. It doesn’t matter if they have one kid or ten – they feel pressure to be the best mom they can be. Maybe some are tougher than others and maybe some cry all the time, but either way they are doing something really special and really tough. Think about how neat the world would be if we could all support and uplift each other in motherhood rather than tear each other apart and make mothers feel inadequate or wrong. Just some food for thought.
Thanks as always for listening to me vent.