I apologize if a lot of my posts recently have been about 2016 – but its the end of the year and I feel like these posts are my way of wrapping up the year! Its kind of all I’ve been thinking about lately so naturally its what I’d be blogging about I guess. As I have been looking back at the year and making goals and deciding on changes I want to make to my life in the coming year I’ve started to realize that I have really learned a lot in 2016. I know each year teaches you a thing or two but I have learned so much this year. Wow. I’m sure a lot of this is because when 2016 started I was a very new mom with a sweet two month old baby boy – and if you didn’t already know, being a mom and raising a child teaches you A LOT!
The thing I think I have learned the very most this year is definitely patience and faith in the Lord and His plan. I am a worrier of the highest degree and having my perfect baby boy has only made me worry 100% more. I’m sure so much of this has to do with the anxiety that consumed me in full force once I got pregnant, but I’m just far too good at imagining the worst case scenario or letting my mind wander and come up with these scary, awful situations. Whats funny about this is I feel like I am typically a glass-half-full kind of person, but when it comes to this I can spiral downward pretty quickly. Prayer has been my greatest ally in all of this. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure out that I functioned a lot better when I prayed immediately when I started to feel even the smallest inkling of anxiety, fear, worry, panic, etc. Thats not to say that there aren’t some days where I don’t still flip out, but I have learned that prayer really works! And I knew that… But this year I learned this in a whole new way and I can say that my testimony of prayer and God’s love for me has grown so, so, so much. Because I can pray to my Heavenly Father I am given comfort, guidance, I am able to help accept things and my worries and anxiety are muted. I’m so grateful for this lesson. I have learned in a way I’ve never known before that if I strengthen my faith in Heavenly Father and His plan, then I know I will be ok. Even if I don’t fully understand it all – I just know.
I have also learned a lot about priorities. Before having a baby somehow priorities weren’t that important. I knew Wild Man was at the top of my list and that our families were super important to us, but because it was just the two of us – two adults – I feel like we could bounce around and do lots on a whim. Now that The Captain has joined our family I have seen the importance of my role as a mother. He is still so young and it is my job to give him structure, nurture him and always keep his best interest in mind. Wild Man and I have sacrificed a lot this year, but it was for the benefit of our son. And you know what? I honestly don’t regret it. Knowing my child is happy, cared for, loved and safe is a huge blessing to me.
I’m not completely sure how exactly I learned this, but I also figured out that its ok to be myself and fully embrace who I am. If I like something someone else doesn’t like, thats ok. If my opinion is different than someone else’s opinion, thats ok. If I want to do something in my own way and its not the norm, thats ok too. Its been very freeing accepting that I am who I am and I can be the version of me I want to be and don’t have to worry about what other people think. Of course there are still those days where I really care about what others think – but I’m working on this every day.
The last thing I want to touch on is something thats really driven me. I have learned a lot about my own value. I am capable of a lot and there isn’t anything stopping me from achieving the things I am working towards unless I let it stop me. My personality is special to me and it can help those around me. If I am true to myself, that true-me can be beneficial to my little corner of the world. I am a valuable person who has great potential and is deserving of good things!
My heart is feeling very full today as I’m looking back at the year. I’ve learned so much more than just what I’ve talked about and I am so grateful that I was given the chance to learn these things. Now on to 2017 and new life lessons!