Books have been a lifelong struggle for me. I want to love to read. I want to be one of those people who can cruise through several books a month. I want to have bookshelves full of books I’ve read and have full reviews on. I want to settle down in bed or in the bathtub with a good book and lose myself in its world. But it just doesn’t happen for me that easily. I can start books like nobodies business. I set time aside that are designated for reading and I hype myself up for the currently book I’m reading but the majority of the time I end up putting the book down and very seldom return to it. Well, thats a lie. I’ll give a book several chapters (which equals several days/weeks) before I decide to quit it all together. Why is it so hard for me to get really into books? I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure that out. I’ve learned I have a very particular kind of book I want to read and its hard to find. I like mysteries/thrillers (but not too scary) and they cannot whatsoever have anything harmful happening to children or babies. Since becoming a wife/mom my anxiety has gone through the roof and I can’t even handle reading about fake terrible things happening to families. So I need to avoid that kind of stuff, too. I’ve read a few more books that are out of my usual murder-mystery niche and have enjoyed a couple. But again, I usually end up just putting the book on my bedside table where it gathers dust until I give it back to my mom – who has an amazing book collection.
I haven’t given up on myself though. As I try to find a book to read I occasionally am able to find one I love and will finish. It just takes time. And I still have the dream that someday I’ll be able to be a lot less picky and have a better attention span and be able to finish whatever book is recommended to me. It’ll happen someday – fingers crossed!
I don’t want my kids to be like me. I’m not saying they have to constantly have a book in hand or read 5+ books a month during the summer. But I want them to love and appreciate reading. I’d say we are on the right path right now with H. I’m not sure how much about your babies future you can tell when they’re only 21 months old, but so far H’s whole life has consisted of a deep love of books. We started reading him books when he was a newborn and we haven’t stopped. Now he loves books. He doesn’t even have to have them read to him, he really loves to sit on the floor and ‘read’ by himself. Its one of my favorite things to see. He gets excited about the pictures, he points at things and talks, he has his favorite books that he always gravitates towards. Its great and I encourage it all I can.
So I guess if I never become the reader I want to be theres still my son I can be proud of (and hopefully the rest of our kids!)
Happy National Read a Book Day! If you happen to have a book you think I may like, send me your recommendations!! Remember, I haven’t given up on myself completely!!