January GBOMB

I like to look at each new year as an opportunity to grow. I know that the year will bring its own unique challenges and hardships but also its own joy and excitement. I went into January 2018 with an open minded attitude – just a lot of anxiousness about the new chapter.

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GOOD

  • I have been doing so good at my goal of daily exercise! I feel good and dare I say it, even look forward to my daily sweat. I haven’t seen results yet, but I have felt them. I feel stronger and know I’m moving myself in the right direction. Its exciting and definitely makes the annoyance of daily work outs so much more worth it. …and less annoying.
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  • My testimony of prayer and relying on the Savior has grown by like 1,000% this month. Long, personal, private story – but seriously you guys, I am a changed person because of this.
  • My words of the year are Kind, Brave and Time – and I am remembering those words daily and I feel like I’m doing a good job at making them me. Especially, Time. I have spent a significantly smaller amount of time on things that don’t matter and so much more time really engaging with my sons and husband. It sounds silly and I’m kind of embarrassed to say it, but I have learned so much more about these boys. My relationship with them has grown and my life just feels better, more balanced and purposeful. Its incredible.
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BAD

  • No lies, the first few weeks of January were awful for my brain and heart. The anxiety I felt on top of my already raging postpartum anxiety and depression was crippling. I can’t even count how many times I had full on mental breakdowns. My house suffered tremendously because of it and when my house is messy, often times my brain is too. It was a vicious cycle that seemed kind of unbeatable at times. I felt so helpless and exhausted about quite a few things. Every day seemed like a challenge and my heart could barely handle it all.
  • I’ve been having some body image issues. I gained a little weight while pregnant with E and I hate that it isn’t just magically gone somehow. I went through a little phase of time where I hated seeing myself in the mirror because all I saw was access weight.
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ON MY BRAIN

  • Our sweet Prophet, Thomas S. Monson passed away this month. Of course its sad, but thinking of his reunion with his sweet wife in heaven…oh man, the thought still just gets to me.
  • We kind of attempted to start potty training. Some days H seemed so into it and others not at all. I don’t know what to do at this point? He’s kind of young for this (i think? – he’s 26 months) so I’m not necessarily pushing it.. But if he’s interested then maybe its best to pursue this? I don’t know. Its all just weird to me. How do I have a kid old enough to do this? Also, potty training a boy… its dangerous. #alwaysaimdown
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  • My little sister is on Drill Team and they had Regions at her school and I was able to go. She was so good and her team did awesome! Also, I cried through each of her dances and the Drill Down. I’m quite a bit older than my sisters and the age gap kind of makes me feel like they are my own kids at times and I was so stinkin’ proud of her!!
  • We did not get enough snow this month. Not at all. Like, where is it?
  • I finally got new pictures for our home that included little E. It made our home feel so much more complete and exciting! There is something about pictures throughout my house of my cute family that just make my heart all warm and fuzzy.
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