April GBOMB

A very late April GBOMB…

April was just what I needed. It was a breath of fresh air. The temperature got warmer and my spirits got higher. I have never really experienced the winter blues before, but I definitely had them this year. The boys and I have felt so cooped up in our house and we are more than thrilled to see Spring weather and knowing Summer is around the corner. But the bugs.. Ugh, why bugs? I really got myself on track this month. The habits I’ve been striving to form and hold to are being kept finally! I’m proud of my progress and I’m getting better at recognizing the positive parts about myself rather than the negative. This just felt like a month of growth, acceptance and actively finding joy in every day – because there really is joy in every day!

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GOOD

  • We got a new beautiful, perfect niece. Nothing compares to the angelic pureness of a brand new baby straight from heaven — and she is beautiful!!
  • In the beginning of this month I was going to jump in the shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I spent my entire shower sobbing. I hated, hated, hated what I saw. I was so discouraged and felt like I’d failed my own body. I went to bed (thankfully everyone else was asleep) and cried for hours. Something needed to change. I am grateful for my body. I LOVE my body and the two wonderful little boys it has brought me. I know that the soft, lumpy body is part of the having babies process but in my mind I looked better than the girl I saw in the mirror and I was embarrassed and bummed. So I decided I could keep on feeling sorry for myself or I could actively accept my body in its current stage while also eating healthier (because heaven knows I sure wasn’t doing that!) and exercising regularly. I have done so well! I haven’t missed a day of exercise all month. I still eat sugar because I would be miserable without it, but I’m eating much better and making better food decisions. Coolest of all? I’m already seeing results!! They are small but they are there and that was all the motivation and encouragement I needed.
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  • I have made me-time a priority the last couple weeks. Sometimes I achieve that by waking up earlier than my boys, sometimes its staying up later than the rest of my family, sometimes its tuning everything else out during my yoga practice and sometimes its doing something else. But I’ve realized that when I make me-time something that can’t be pushed off, I am a better mom and wife. I also just feel better. Why did it take me so long to allow myself mandatory time to do something for myself?
  • I have been watching my friends little baby girl a couple times a week while she works and I knew it would be fun but I had no idea how fulfilling it would be! It is so fun to have a third little one in the home – and I can do it! It makes me more confident in myself.
  • My testimony grew a lot this month. I have a lot of fears and worries and I’m nervous and anxious always. I was able to really focus on my faith in Christ this month and it calmed so many of my nerves as well as just really helping my testimony grow. I’m very thankful for that.
  • We have spent so much time outside and its an instant mood-booster. My boys love being out there and have so much fun. Now if only we could figure out how to rid our town of mosquitos.
  • My sister went to Prom and I got to do her makeup and helped them with their pictures. It was so much fun! She looked beautiful, her group seemed fun and dare I say it…I found myself actually missing high school for a little bit.
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  • I don’t know what happened but you guys, I have been on top of house work and I’m proud as heck! My house has looked great this month! I wish I could tell you what changed in me, but I really have no idea. Just one day I decided I could do better than I was doing. Hallelujah choruses have not stopped singing.

BAD

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  • I’m really good at thinking I’m a failure lately. If anything goes wrong or seems off, I automatically assume its my fault and I could have done something to prevent whatever it is. Not super fun.
  • All the boys were sick throughout most of this month. E and Wild Man had some lung congestion and E had a cough that kept him up all night. H got a little luckier with a milder version of this, but still made for some long nights. We were so happy when everyone started feeling normal again.

ON MY BRAIN

  • Have you seen Avengers Infinity War, yet? Oh my gosh. I literally cannot stop thinking about it.
  • I am going crazy being home in Utah when I know that Pixar Fest is happening over in Disneyland. Every single day (this is not exaggerating) I find myself glued to Instagram and YouTube as I watch, look at and read every single thing I can to do with with Pixar Fest. I can’t wait until we get there!!
  • Penny turned 1 finally. Everyone says the first two years of labs are the worst – oh how I can’t wait for her to be two. Just one more year! Then hopefully she’s got all the puppy-ness out of her. But why do I have a feeling she’s always going to act like a puppy? Yikes.
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