I have good, good boys. I really do. They are sweet and my favorite little people in the whole wide world. We have way more good days than bad days, but it wouldn’t be real life if every day were 100% perfection, right? Right.
A few days ago was rough. So rough. It all started with a weirdly off and chaotic morning. The night before, E had a terrible nights sleep, so he desperately needed a great nights sleep and I really hoped he’d sleep in too. But that didn’t happen because early, early in the morning, H woke up screaming. And when I say screaming, I mean it. Screaming, kicking, yelling, punching, swinging and screaming some more. He kept yelling, “I don’t want to be home!” It took us a minute, but we realized that he’d woken up from a dream where he was at a splash pad and when he woke and saw he was no longer at the splash pad, he was ticked. Pair that with being half asleep and it was just a bad, loud, violent combination. Seeing as the boys share a room, there was no way E slept through the freakout.
So then both boys were awake for the day and the lack of desperately needed sleep really took a toll on their day and in result, our day, too. There were so many tantrums. So many tears. So many melt downs. So many fits. So much attitude. So much whining. So much stress.
I don’t blame them. I don’t function well under hardly any sleep either. Everyone has ‘those days’ and it just so happened that both my boys had one of ‘those days’ on the same day. Bad luck for us, but thats real life. Thats life as a parent.
It was a hard day. I was short with my husband. Short with my boys. Short with myself. It was, as H would say, “a tricky day.” It was absolutely a day that I went to bed feeling defeated and annoyed with myself and how I handled the day. Usually I feel like I’m good at being patient with my boys. More than anything, I want them to be able to feel how they feel. If they’re angry then I want them to feel ok about expressing their anger. If they’re frustrated or annoyed, I want them to feel free to express those emotions as well. Their feelings are valid and I feel like my job as their mother is to remind them daily its ok for them to feel whatever feeling they have. But I wasn’t very great at it on this particular day. I wished I could have a do-over.
Thankfully, the next few days following this hard day were much better. The boys slept, Craig and I slept. And our attitudes were much happier, calmer and kinder.
If thats not mom life, then I don’t know what is.