Change

As I’m writing this, its late at night and my mind is racing a million miles per hour thinking about tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning Harrison has his first day of preschool.

How? How is my first baby already starting school? He started speech preschool last year, but a perk of speech preschool is that I join Harrison. We go together. That same invitation isn’t open to parents when it comes to regular preschool and I’m all torn up about that. I know that at some point I’ve got to ‘let go,’ and let him do these things on his own, and I know that time, at least for school, is now. But I’m having a hard time with it. I’m going to miss him. He’s been one of my most reliable sidekicks and little painters since I found out I was pregnant with him. He’ll be gone about two and a half hours, and thats a long time apart for us. We are close. Its always been me, Harrison and Emmett – we are an unbreakable trio (with our great dad who joins us after work) but things are about to change big time as he goes off to school.

This is the beginning of the rest of his life. He will be in school for the next significant portion of his life. All through high school then on to college. Its a long journey, and its always felt like a journey that was distant in our path, but here we are. Tomorrow our first baby goes off to school. To real school.

I’m going to be brave for Harrison. I’m going to put a brave face on. I’m going to empower him and shower him with praise and squeal about how excited I am for him – because I am excited for him! But once he’s safe and secure in his classroom, I can only imagine I’ll lose it. But from what I see on Instagram, thats pretty normal. Thats ok. Its ok to feel the sting of your children getting older.

Harrison is going to thrive in school, I just know it. He is smart and very curious. He is brave and he tries hard. He likes to figure things out and learn new things. He is a good boy and takes pride in following rules and takes pride in a job well done. He’s a perfect candidate for school. He picks things up so quickly. He’s a sponge and yearns to learn to new things – he reminds me a lot of my dad in that way. I’m just thrilled to see where preschool takes him. I’m thrilled to hear what he’s learning about. I’m thrilled to hear his stories about school, new friends, letters and whatever else he learns about. I’m excited to hear stories about the playground at preschool, because I know that’ll be his favorite part. I’m excited to see hims big grin when I pick him up from school, because he wears that grin almost always. I’m excited to give him a giant hug and tell him how proud I am of him.

This is a big step and a big change. My mama heart is all over the place, but its not about me. Its about Harrison and the amazing, brave, smart, incredible, friendly boy that he is! Its about him growing and becoming more him. Its about him learning more about himself and what he wants to do in his life and I feel honored to get a front row seat to his journey.

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