So Much Closer

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So its only just very, very recently occurred to me that this pregnancy is starting to wrap up. I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever, so the fact that its totally nearing the end is hard for me to completely grasp. I am due next month! I’m due in six-ish weeks. I am full term in just a couple more weeks. This is crazy! I am so close to the end! We are SO close to meeting our anxiously awaited Baby Sister, finally!! Its all just so mind blowing to me. All the sudden its just…here! Or, super almost here, at least. Its so exciting and rewarding!!

Her nursery is all ready for her. The only thing missing is her. Craig and I love to spend time in there just sitting and daydreaming life with her in it. Its magical. I can’t wait to meet her and see who she is. See what she looks like. And hopefully finally figure out what in the world her name is.

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At my latest doctors appointment it was basically loosely confirmed that she’d be delivered via c-section. This isn’t how I envisioned her birth, at all. I was really hoping for a successful VBAC, but she had other plans when she decided to be a breech baby. I really disliked my c-section with Emmett, but I’m pretty sure thats because his was a scary emergency situation and he didn’t come out looking very good, at all. I’m hoping and praying that her c-section will go a lot better and change my mind about c-sections. I’m not super excited about the recovery, either. But I realize all of these reasons I’m not thrilled about a c-section are because of me being selfish. What matters is her. What matters is getting her here in the safest manner possible, which is very, very likely – a c-section. I’d much rather have her come into the world in the best way possible instead of fighting for what my idea of my third birth would be and having something not go so well. You know? I do find it funny though. Harrison was a head down baby. Emmett was a sideways baby. Baby Sister is a head up baby. Does that mean my fourth will be a sideways baby, but her head will be on the opposite side Emmett’s was?

 

April 2020

Another month has come and gone. Another month in quarantine. Another month closer to meeting Baby Sister. Another month getting closer to warmer weather, pool time and things going back to whatever our new ‘normal’ will be. Truly, though social distancing has been tough because we miss family, it has not been bad. I’ve actually enjoyed it! I’ve been feeling the pull to get closer to my kids and this has been the perfect opportunity to do so. I’ve wanted to get a lot of house stuff done before the baby comes, and this has given me the perfect opportunity to do so. Its been pretty fun to be ‘stuck’ together as a family for a while, because I know this is not something that happens very often – if at all – in a persons lifetime, so we are choosing to make the best of it!

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GOOD

  • April brought a lot of nice weather, so we spent a lot of time outside and it was so refreshing and reviving. We are lucky to live pretty close to some pretty areas to explore and play at and we have taken advantage of those locations so much this past month and don’t plan on stopping that any time soon.
  • Nesting has hit me in full force and I am loving it. There is nothing quite as satisfying as getting things clean, organized and ready for baby time. I go to bed feeling so accomplished. It just feels good to be doing this much around the house. But on that note, I’m also really happy with myself for not being hard on myself on the days that absolutely nothing productive at all happens.
  • Craig has taken on the big job of completely re-doing our backyard. We were realizing it wasn’t as functional for us as it could be, and last year somehow the dogs made it pretty — not cool, so he decided to start it over and give it a face lift – a much needed one. Its going to be so nice when its all finished and I am foreseeing many, many hours spent out there this Summer. I can’t wait! (Also, thank you, Craig)
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  • We had a really nice Easter. It was totally weird not to go spend it with family and take part in tons of egg hunts, etc, like we are used to, but we made it our own special little day and I really loved it. The night before we tried to really drive it into the boys head that we celebrate Easter to commemorate the fact that Christ has made it possible for us to be resurrected and live with our families forever and they more or less understood. Easter morning we let it be all about candy, eggs and Easter baskets, then we tried our best to bring it back to the true meaning. No matter how it was received, it was a nice, peaceful day.
  • The boys finally accepted that when dad works from home they can’t bug him every 5 seconds, which has made my job of corralling them a lot easier.
  • We have gone on several nice car rides during the day and its been good for us. Sometimes we stop at Sodalicious and get a drink and cookie first, then we just drive. Its a change of scenery, while still staying distanced from people and its given us these nice opportunities to really talk with one another.
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NOT-SO-GOOD

  • We had about four days where between the two boys, there was some kind of tummy bug going around. It was messy and sad and I did so much laundry, but we are thankful it didn’t last too long and that they’re totally back to themselves, now.
  • I hurt. I mean, no surprise because I’m 7 months pregnant, but I’m still saying it. I hurt. I waddle big time. My hips, back, pelvis and upper thighs ache constantly and my belly is uncomfortable and feels so heavy. I’m trying to view this as further reassurance that I’m just getting closer and closer to my due date. Positive thinking, right?
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  • A lot more brother-fights have broken out in April. I mean, I can’t blame the boys, but its still not my favorite thing in the world. Their fights are actually pretty comical. I’ve started letting them duke it out when they need to. Sometimes they don’t need mom to intervene, they just need to whack each other a few times to feel satisfied. But then sometimes they start going for each others eyes or getting just a little too into it and I decide to step in. Its a balance I feel like I’m getting better at. Its usually around these physical fight times I see that its time to do something new. So we put toys away and do some other kind of busy activity.
  • I’ve missed a few days of preschool since ‘Spring Break’ and I feel kind of guilty about it because Harrison loves preschool. But I’m not worrying about it too much.

HOME

  • I had no idea at the end of 2019 when I made my word ‘Home‘ for 2020 that I would be spending time in home like I never have before. Isn’t it funny how things work out like that? Its really assisted me in reaching these goals I’ve set for myself and my home though, so thats nice. We have been so good at doing Come Follow Me frequently which has brought a nice spirit into our home. I have been good at making sure the home is clean and happy and having people in the family help make it feel that way. Its just a nice little system thats helping our spirits stay lifted during this funny time.
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How Many Weeks Has It Been Now?

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I’m not gonna lie – my blogging brain turned off for a while. I’m not even sure its entirely turned back on, but I’m giving it a try. During this unique time, I’ve found a lot of joy in spending a different time of quality time with my kids. The groove we have found has been really nice. Some days are so productive and others, nothing even remotely productive happens in our house, but I’m grateful for these funny days, nonetheless.

Its been a huge blessing that the weather has been so nice because we’ve spent a lot of time outside. Its good for me to get this big, waddling body moving, even though it usually results in an evening of feeling sore – but to me, its worth it.

Craig has been working from home still (something I’m so grateful for) and is working his bum off in our backyard. He is completely re-doing our backyard and its getting closer and closer to completion every day and I cannot even wait to see the finished job. Craig’s definitely the type that doesn’t like to sit still, so its been good for him to have this project during this social distancing time.

We are missing family and playing with friends, but we have also got really good at truly appreciating one another in our immediate family. We are trying our very best to look at this time as a blessing in disguise and a time of life we’ll look back on with fondness.

Beginning Week 3

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I’m setting more goals for myself this week, and one of them has been to blog once a day, at least Monday through Friday. I mean, I’ve got plenty of time, you know? I’ll be honest, I’m not sure what all there is to talk about, but hopefully I can get kind of creative sooner than later.

Quarantine life hasn’t changed much since last time I talked about it. We still have nice slow mornings, we get ready for the day (usually) because it gives us a sense of normalcy and we spend a lot of time doing schoolwork, sensory boxes, activities, show watching, walks, chalk and coloring. Is it getting old? Just a tiny bit, but I feel like I’ve done a pretty ok job at mixing it up and keeping things ‘new’ and fun. We are having a good time, but sometimes it actually takes some work! Craig has been mostly working from home now down in our basement, which is actually really nice. Its good to know he’s down there being protected from stupid COVID-19 and its fun to see him pop upstairs from time to time. Although keeping the boys upstairs is becoming a bit of a challenge.

I feel bad for the boys. They miss going places and getting out of the house. But I also feel incredibly impressed by them. Despite their wishes to go to school, library class, church, museums, stores, grandparents houses, etc, they are going with the flow and being patient with me as I try to navigate this new journey in motherhood. I just have a lot of gratitude for them and I can’t wait until I can take them out again!

So just for a second can we talk about this virus? My thoughts have been so all over the place with this. When it first started, I was one of those people who believed it was just some bad flu and it wasn’t that big of a deal. I took precautions to make sure hands were washed thoroughly and disinfected a little more, but I honestly didn’t feel like I needed to panic. But then it started spreading faster and people kept dying. I kept thinking about my grandparents. I kept thinking about my unborn baby. I didn’t, and don’t, want them harmed by some evil virus that seemed to show up from nowhere. It started to scare me. I decided to educate myself. I have been pretty good at only paying attention to CDC articles, and I have found. lot of direction and peace in the messages from church leaders, especially our sweet Prophet, Russel M. Nelson. Between those two things I’ve come up with my own take on this, and its this:

We are following the rules. We are social distancing. We don’t go out unless we absolutely need to, and I’m seeing more and more, there is not hardly any need for us to go out – so we don’t. I don’t know how this could effect me while pregnant, or my unborn daughter, or my daughter once she’s born. I don’t know if this could take a turn and do something harmful to my toddler sons. So we are being careful. We are washing hands frequently and thoroughly. I’m disinfecting a lot. Hand sanitizer is everywhere. We are being mindful and aware. Its a little isolating and tiring, but we have chosen to do our part, follow the rules and help flatten the curve.

The Prophet has spoken about how we will defeat this. There will be relief. We just need to be smart. I take so much comfort from his words. We will get past this! I hope we can all do so safely, smartly and healthily.

National Puppy Day

Ok, technically Coco is our only puppy, but Penny isn’t even three yet, plus I will always and forever refer to them as puppies so…

Happy Puppy Day Penny Girl and Coco! (yesterday…)

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We love our doggies. They are good, good girls. Craig and I are both particularly fond of their patience and the way they love and protect our kids. Labs are definitely family dogs, thats for sure.

Harrisons favorite thing about Penny: She is good to lay on and cuddle.

Emmetts favorite thing about Penny: She gets him ride her like a horse, then he yelled, “yeehaw, partner!”

Harrisons favorite thing about Coco: She holds my hand.

Emmetts favorite thing about Coco: “Hold my hand and funny.”

That Social Distancing Life

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One week down, who knows how many more to go. Although quarantine life certainly has its stresses, I’m personally in support of however long this distancing needs to be. I want to flatten that curve and I want people to be safe and healthy – so we are opting to do our part and stay home.

My boys are the best. Such troopers. I feel terrible for them. Harrison has had preschool, speech and all his extra little classes cancelled and he’s devastated that we can’t go to church so he can go to class there. Emmett desperately misses library class and also is pretty bummed about the lack of church. We’ve talked about ‘the germ’ – thats what we’re referring to Corona Virus as with them – and Harrison understands the importance of everything being closed and postponed, but it doesn’t make him any happier about the whole situation we’ve found ourselves in. Thankfully Harrisons preschool and speech teachers have sent out lessons, activities, etc that have helped the boys feel a little less isolated from their normal routine. Seriously though, I’m so thankful for educators who are helping their students out so much. Its incredible.

Social Distancing has made me really stretch and exercise my mom muscle and I kind of love it. I’ve been forced to find new ways to entertain my kids. We’ve been forced to do things a little out of the ordinary when it comes to our regular day-to-day life. I’ve vowed to myself not to be hard on myself if I’m not super productive, super-mom and the next Martha Stewart coming out of this quarantine. I’m going to try my best and do what I’m comfortable and happy with. I’m going to do what my ever-expanding/constantly hurting body allows me to do with plenty of my time given to my kids, as well as making sure I do things I enjoy, as well.

Its a weird time of life and there is a lot of uncertainty and confusion, but we are trekking along, counting our blessings, using our brains, washing our hands and saying lots of prayers.

Happy Quarantining!

Ramblings of an Anxious Mama

I woke up this morning to the aftershock of an earthquake. This, coming after a terrible nights sleep because of a two year old who was having random ear pain all throughout the night and having so much anxiety all throughout the night because its like suddenly it clicked to me that I’m a pregnant woman during a pandemic. Then I started having these scary thoughts – we already know we won’t have anyone come in and visit after I deliver baby sister (even her brothers *cue sobs*), but then I started thinking about, what if Craig gets sick and he’s not allowed in either? What if I have to do the whole thing without him?

Then I remembered I find out soon if I have gestational diabetes again. Everything I’ve been reading has said that basically, jury is still out if being a pregnant woman makes you high risk for Covid-19, but I have read since the beginning of all this that being diabetic does put you at high risk. Does that include gestational diabetes? Not to mention, I just really don’t want to have gestational diabetes again – that was a low point in my life haha. The only food I can consistently rely on during my pregnancies is candy, so you can imagine how that just really, really sucks for me.

Anxiety is fun, folks.

This is all kind of ticking me off, because up until last night, I really haven’t let the stress and panic of everything get to me. I really haven’t, and thats incredibly impressive for me! I’m not great at remaining calm, but somehow I have been. Then I went to bed last night and my anxiety and dumb brain that won’t shut up got the best of me. Then, like I said, I woke up to news of an earthquake. Now I’m making a plan on what to do with my kids in case another one comes soon (or ever), and let me tell you, for an anxious person, making a plan like this does not necessarily calm you down!

I’m just trying really hard to be mindful and aware of things lately. Pay attention. Don’t let unimportant things distract me. Hug my kids tighter and, as always, wash the crap out of our hands.

Quarantine, Day 1

Just kidding. I promise I won’t do a daily log during this whole social distancing period. But guys, how crazy is this world right now?! Today (Monday) is our first official day of social distancing, AKA quarantine. I, personally, plan on really sticking to the whole stay-at-home-often-as-you-can thing. There really isn’t much need for me to leave our house all that often anyway, especially since preschool, speech and all our extra, fun classes have been canceled. I suppose I’ll occasionally have to brave the chaotic grocery stores, but I’m really hoping grocery pickup will pull through for me and I’ll be able to just drive there and have those wonderful Walmart employees load it into my trunk (seriously, bless all grocery store employees right now!)

All in all, I feel pretty prepared for this and pretty calm. We have decent food storage, we have a lot of activities to keep us busy during this time in our homes/yards and lucky us, my nesting is starting to get real, so I’ll be finding plenty of cleaning projects and busy work for us to accomplish while we stick it out at home.

As far as the virus is concerned, I don’t feel too worried about myself or my family. We are all healthy and thankfully not in the demographic of people who need to be extra cautious (though I guess there aren’t really many studies on pregnant women/newborns, so…) and we are doing a good job and sanitizing, using lots of hand sanitizer (now if only I could find some more because my supply is running low) and I really feel like if we were to get corona virus, we’d get over it. But I do still worry for everyone else. My dad has lung issues so he’s at higher risk. I have grandparents I love and care for who are at higher risk. There are wonderful people in my neighborhood who are at higher risk. I just want them to be safe! Thats the part that worries me.

But what is really starting to make me worried is how this is effecting everything else. Right now jobs are seeming to do ok (if I’m wrong, sorry, I’m a stay at home mom – I don’t know tons about the outside world), but I’m truly worried about food supply and how this will effect businesses, etc down the road. I can’t even get too into it because I don’t want to create anxiety in myself that I’ve done a good job at keeping at bay.

I’ll just end this by saying: Wash your hands. You don’t need to buy all the toilet paper. STOP hoarding baby supplies, because there are parents out there who desperately need formula, diapers, wipes, etc, NOW. Leave a few hand sanitizers on the shelf for everyone else. Even though its rough, stay socially distanced from people as much as possible. Practice good hygiene. Pray for the people trying to find solutions to this crazy time of life. Keep being hopeful, smart and kind!

Feeling CALM

“If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.”

If you know me, you know I am a worrier. I know fear isn’t great, but I have a lot of it and it’s a daily struggle I have to not be completely consumed by it. It’s how I’ve been my entire life. But I’ve just got to say, my testimony has grown leaps and bounds this past week as I’ve seen how things are changing in my life. Change usually scares me, but this time it really hasn’t and I think that’s because over the last little while I’ve been preparing for all this change without really even realizing it. It’s amazing to me how the church (and people in general) have been stressing to have good food storage. It’s amazing to me how our gospel curriculum has become home centered. God really does know what He’s doing and He wasn’t about to let us face all this change and craziness without feeling prepared and taken care of. It’s given me so much comfort and calm in a time where I’d otherwise be panicking and an anxious, stressed out mess. I’m just so grateful and amazed!

Recent Loves

My skin always gets a little more sensitive when I’m pregnant, but this time its got extra sensitive. Face products I used to swear by burn the heck out of my face. Certain lotions make things worse. I’m having reactions to stuff I swore would never hurt me. Its been a journey. But I’ve also made it a point to really take care of my skin while I’m pregnant – and I’ve been good at that goal. My skin has actually looked really great the majority of this pregnancy (besides when I randomly react to stuff) and I’m so grateful for it. Its also caused me to wear less makeup because 1) I’m more comfortable and confident in my skin when its cooperating and kind and 2) My motivation is lacking the bigger I get, so spending less time on makeup always seems like a plus to me.

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These two cleansers have saved my skin. My usual Image product I love and cherish were tormenting my skin and I had to take a break from them. I’d heard a lot about HelloBody and decided to try their Coco Fresh Cleansing Foam and was instantly impressed. Its gentle and it works. Sadly, in the last month I’ve started becoming more sensitive to it (thanks, skin), so I don’t use it daily anymore, but I still love it and highly recommend it. I’ve also still been loving my tried and true GlamGlow Gentlebubble Cleanser. This one is so nice to my skin. Its never given me a reaction, it makes my skin feel nice and clean. No complaints here.

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IF I wear foundation…well lets start that over. I haven’t warn foundation in a while. If I choose to wear something that covers my whole face, I’ve been opting for some kind of BB Cream or tinted moisturizer. The one I keep gravitating towards lately, should I choose to cover my whole face, is the NYX Bare With Me tinted skin veil. It stays on well and it applies well. Its very light coverage, but thats what I’m going for.

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I got this blush and bronzer combo in a Boxy Charm box a while ago (I’m pretty sure) and on days I choose to wear one/both of those, this is what I grab 95% of the time. Its from Wander and is called Trip For Two. They’re both really good and buildable shades for me.

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I haven’t warn a lot of highlight lately, but when I do its this. Its OFRA and Madison Miller Highlighter in Sea Shimmer. It can be subtle or flashy and I am pleased with it either way.

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I decided to branch out and try a new brow product this month and have been very pleased with my on-a-whim purchase. This is the Maybelline Tattoo Studio brown pencil. Its easy to use and quick to apply – all things I’m looking for right now.

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Lastly, if I decide to wear lipstick (usually only happens for church) this is the color I’m currently obsessed with. I’ve had it a while but have recently rediscovered it. This shade is just barely darker than my actual lip color. Its kind of one of those my lips, but better colors for me, you know? Its a Maybelline one (I can’t find the name of it) that lasts all day and is kiss/food proof in the shade Seductress.