August GBOMB

August was another simple month. It was relaxing and full of sleep deprivation. We saw lots of family from out of state and we spent a lot of quality time together as our family of four. We made exciting future plans and we set new goals. It was a good month, but I’m totally fine seeing it go. We all know with August behind us that means we are that much closer to full-fledged Fall and I live for that.

GOOD

  • I have to start this post off with this one – the Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again soundtrack. Oh my gosh. How did the world even thrive before we were gifted with such greatness? Its all I ever want to listen to.
  • Our Halloween costumes are finally figured out! I’m not sharing what we’re going to be yet, but I’m really, really excited for it. As usual, we’re all from the same (Disney) movie and we, the boys especially, are going to look awesome. I can’t wait! I’ll likely ‘debut’ the costumes when we go to Mickey’s Halloween Party in Disneyland a couple weeks before Halloween.
  • Thanks to a wonderful sister-in-laws advice, I’ve fully committed to getting back into scrapbooking again and its given me life. I have dabbled in it here and there, but I never made it a priority. But now its something I find myself itching to do whenever I have spare time. Its been a lot of fun documenting the important, and also simple moments in our family and in my sons lives.
  • I got really lucky with lots of new clients this month! I feel so lucky when people trust me with their lashes, skin, etc. I don’t feel like a lot of people in the beauty industry can say this, but my clients are my friends too! I feel like during their appointments we get to connect and bond and learn more about each other and its a real joy.
  • To sort of go along with that last bullet point, one of my new clients is a wonderful woman I’m doing a trade with. She gets whatever she wants done in the spa and I get a 60-90 minute massage! Uh yeah, its heaven. I can already tell my body is benefiting from this.

BAD

  • E got a double ear infection. Its so sad to see your little one hurting, and he was in a lot of pain and it broke my heart to see. We got him on an antibiotic after visiting the instacare and it went away pretty quickly, thankfully. Now hopefully we can be healthy again for a while.
  • Speaking of E.. the dude hates food and its starting to stress me out. He’d nurse 24/7 if I let him, but when it comes to actual food being fed to him, that gets a big nope. Just recently he’s decided he’s ok with finger foods he can feed himself, but whenever I try to shovel food into his mouth his lips are sealed. He had his nine month doctor appointment not very long ago and they didn’t seem to think that was a big concern yet, but I still worry about it. Just eat little boy!!
  • Ok, one more thing about E on here (haha poor kid) – he has slept sooooooo bad lately. Which also means I have slept sooooooo bad lately. I do ok without good sleep a few nights here and there, but when its this constant I really start to struggle. Its starting to all catch up to me and I don’t feel right. I’ve had lots of headaches, I’m lazy, I’m not as fun of a mom, etc. Please send good sleeping vibes my way, and if you have any profound ideas on how to get this little person to sleep most the night again, please let me know!

ON MY BRAIN

  • Kindness has been on my mind a lot lately. Mostly, why can’t we all be more kind to each other? I was talking to my sister-in-law about this and I think she said it perfectly, “shouldn’t we be lifting each other up and hoping for the best?” Yes, yes we should. Can we just make it a universal goal to boost each other up instead of dragging them down? Sometimes some mean opinions or thoughts should be kept to ourselves. Sometimes its best to bite your tongue. Just be kind. Everyone. Please.
  • I’m not sure why, but my babies as newborns have been on my mind a lot lately. I keep on thinking about that time in the hospital when they are still so fresh. That is such an incredible feeling. I don’t imagine I’ll ever tire of that. I’ve been looking at lots and lots of pictures of my boys when they were newborns, too. Oh my gosh. Tiny, precious little humans.
  • I got my first real scare watching my child do something brave this month. We went boating with some of Wild Mans family. We have done this before and H will hop out on the tube with some of his cousins. They ride this big wide tube that is really tricky to fall off of. Well wouldn’t you know it, H managed to fall off. It scared the crap out of me. Thats my little two year-old buddy just out there in the middle of the lake!! Thankfully another one of his cousins fell off with him so he wasn’t all alone, but it still made my heart race. I knew he was fine, I knew his lifejacket worked, but that didn’t stop the panic. This is just the first of many of these moments and scares, I know.. Oh geez. I’m already nervous. Bring on the ulcers.
  • I don’t care what anyone else says, if you ask me, September is the beginning of Fall. I’m beyond excited. I’m over Summer. I’ll miss the pool, but I’ll see it again next year. I’m ready for the autumn smells, food, clothes, leaves, traditions, just all of it. Come on Fall, I’m so stinkin’ excited for you honey.

 

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July GBOMB

If I’m being honest, I usually don’t have a great attitude about July. Its just hot, hot, hot. I love the summer, but once mid to end July hits, I’m ready for Fall. I don’t know why it isn’t my favorite month usually, its just not. But I will say, having a kid who really enjoys hot summer days has made my attitude about July change. It was a good month. Nothing big, but we found some joy in every day. So lets get into this, shall we?

GOOD

  • Wild Mans sister and her family live in Mexico, but they’re in town right now for a few weeks and it has been so, so much fun!
  • To go along with that top bullet point, our kids are lucky to be around their cousins frequently, but this month I feel like we have had even more cousin time than normal and we are loving it. IMG_0163
  • I’m in my groove when it comes to exercising finally and it feels amazing. I am proud of myself and I’m not even ashamed to say that. I haven’t missed a day in months now and dare I say it, I think I’m at that point now where I look forward to exercising. I have figured out that I can’t schedule a set workout time – I don’t work that way – but I do pretty well to workout when my boys have full bellies and a tv show or a movie on. Its really fun when H joins in with me too. Wild Man has always been vigilant with his workouts. He never misses, he takes it seriously and he goes hard and his body shows it. I’m glad that my kids have him as a healthy living role model – but I’m actually really excited thinking about how I am being a healthy living example, as well! IMG_0242
  • Disneyland celebrated its 63rd birthday in July. Its just really cool to me. Sixty-three years of magic that doesn’t compare to anything else. I ask this a lot, but seriously, can you imagine a world without Disney?? Thank goodness we don’t have to live in that reality.

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  • Remember how I just said I’m doing awesome on exercise? Yeah, not so much with eating though. I like to refer to myself as a garbage can, because sometimes thats exactly what I am. I have some high hopes and goals for August as far as eating goes. Lets all cross our fingers and hope for my own health that I can stick to them.
  • We had one day in July that just really sucked. Both my boys kept getting hurt over and over, and they weren’t necessarily small injuries! The day ended with my sweet H playing by a creek with his dad, lifting a huge branch and hundreds of wasps coming out from under it and literally attacking him. It was such a freaky, sad sight to see. They swarmed him and we counted 19 stings. (Wild Man somehow only managed 2 or 3) Ugh. It was the worst and so sad. I think H has full on PTSD from it and his already intense fear of bees/wasps has grown 10,000%.
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ON MY BRAIN

  • My family was gone for most of July on my youngest sisters 16th birthday trip. They went to Paris, London and Scotland and it sounded like a dream vacation. One of their stops was Disneyland Paris (i wasn’t jealous at all) and  I still find myself marveling over the pictures they took there. Its amazing. I’m hoping my sister will do a guest post for me sometime soon to talk about Disneyland Paris and compare it to Disneyland in California. Stay tuned for that!IMG_0327
  • My husbands cousins wife has been on my mind so much this month. In the beginning of July she had an unexpected, huge heart attack. She is currently in a coma. She is a mother to seven. I just have so many thoughts and feelings about this. My heart hurts for this sweet family. Its one of those things that make me want to make sure I’m not taking any day for granted. You never know whats around the corner. If you’d care to donate to Ream and her family, here is a link.
  • There has been a lot of talk about breastfeeding on social media lately. More specifically, breast feeding in public. Seeing as I’m currently a breastfeeding mother, I have some thoughts on this. It makes me sad that women are being shamed for feeding their babies in public. Covered or not, I honestly don’t think its a big deal. I personally cover up, only because I’m not brave enough to  do so without covering. Honestly, I admire the women who don’t cover up. That takes guts and I wish I could be that brave sometimes. E doesn’t eat very well when he has a blanket over his head, and it gets hot in there for both him and me! I see the appeal of being uncovered for sure. I also hate when you hear that breastfeeding is becoming sexualized. I do think there are some times and places when you shouldn’t be breastfeeding uncovered… but for the most part, I am in support and it makes me sad that there are women out there feeding their children – LIKE BREASTS WERE MADE FOR – and are getting dirty looks and unkind comments.

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June GBOMB

June was great. It was relaxing, but still full of fun Summer activities. There were birthdays, lots and lots of time spent in the pool, late nights, baby milestones and awesome new memories made. I’m hoping July can be pretty similar because if all summer was like this month – our summer will be near perfect.

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GOOD

  • We finally got to meet our new niece and she is everything perfect, beautiful and angelic. She also made me insanely baby hungry.
  • E started crawling!! My baby is getting bigger and bigger so fast! Its bittersweet, but more than anything its super exciting.
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  • We have spent so, so much time in my parents pool. H will spend hours upon hours in there and it makes him sleep so good at night! E is actually really fond of the pool as well! I’m so glad we have access to our own clean, heated pool.
  • Our last day of our last Disneyland trip was in June – so of course I have to mention that. We already miss it and our next trip can’t come quick enough!
  • Not to toot my own horn but I have been killing my workouts lately. I’m proud of myself and I don’t feel too awkward about saying that. I am putting in the work, I am getting sweaty and I’ve just finally started to see some small results!
  • Our family friend gave us a fancy little leash that she said helped her lab who is about the same age as our Penny on walks. We were eager to also try it and — it is MAGIC. I don’t even know how it works or why, but I don’t care. What matters is that she walks so freaking much better now and I love, love, love it.
  • Wild Man had his birthday in June. He is so stinkin’ humble and doesn’t want to have any hubbub dealing with him — so I love his birthday because its a day/week that he gets the attention that he very rightfully deserves. That man is a good one and he deserves lots of spoils and recognition.
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  • H took his first round of swimming lessons the end of June and he loved it and did so good! He’s still so young so he didn’t advance on levels or anything, and isn’t swimming laps, but he is getting more familiar with the water and learning it can be dangerous (he has literally no fear of the water and it terrifies me). His teacher was great, H looked forward to this every day and we are so excited for the next session to start!

BAD

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  • Now that E is down on the floor and moving around at an ever increasing speed, I’m having to be much more cautious of whats on the floor and it turns out we produce a lot of crumbs!! Also, I’m learning H is not a fan of sharing. E is sneaky and will grab a bunch of the things that H is playing with and he does not like that. I can’t tell you how many times a day I hear H scream, “No! Em! No!” We are working on it and he is getting better, but its a daily battle.
  • I think my eye prescription has changed again. All the sudden I’m squinting a lot more and things are blurry. I’m so blind already and I’m only 27. Will I be legally blind by the time I’m 30? Maybe.
  • I got an epic sunburn. Is it possible to be a person thats immune to sunscreen? I don’t understand how I keep getting so fried.
  • For the last two summers I’ve been good about getting a group of friends and their kids together weekly at my parents pool and I have been a huge slacker on that this year. I’ve had individual little swim dates with friends, but I haven’t planned a big get together yet and it makes me sad. Hopefully in July that will change, because these pool dates end up being some of my very favorite summer memories each year.
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ON MY BRAIN

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  • Potty training. Its been on my brain all month. It makes me excited and makes me frustrated. I feel like one day its working and we are nailing it and other days I wonder why the heck I’m putting us through the misery. H is awesome though and is generally doing a great job. I just really wish we could figure out this whole pooping in the toilet thing. That would be incredible.
  • I didn’t do my May GBOMB and its been bugging me all of June. At this point, I’m just not going to do it and hopefully will forget about it soon.
  • I’m finding myself back on the I-Want-Bangs bandwagon. Ugh. I got bangs about two years ago and they were cute and much more manageable than I thought they’d be. But I let them grow out and now here I am wishing for them again. But do I do it? My hairs definitely easier to do without bangs…but they’re cute! Ugh. Someone make my life decisions for me.
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  • For about two months now I have had some weird wrist pain in my left wrist. It hurts to have any pressure on it (which is making my yoga practices HARD) but when I’m not putting any kind of weight on it, it feels fine. I’m debating if I need to see a doctor or do I just wait it out? I’m usually very on the side of wait it out, but its lasted so long!
  • While we are talking about seeing doctors.. I want to go to the dermatologist. As I mentioned earlier, I got a terrible sunburn and sometimes I get incredibly paranoid that I’m doing something damaging to my skin when that happens. It really wouldn’t kill me to get a screening anyway.
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April GBOMB

A very late April GBOMB…

April was just what I needed. It was a breath of fresh air. The temperature got warmer and my spirits got higher. I have never really experienced the winter blues before, but I definitely had them this year. The boys and I have felt so cooped up in our house and we are more than thrilled to see Spring weather and knowing Summer is around the corner. But the bugs.. Ugh, why bugs? I really got myself on track this month. The habits I’ve been striving to form and hold to are being kept finally! I’m proud of my progress and I’m getting better at recognizing the positive parts about myself rather than the negative. This just felt like a month of growth, acceptance and actively finding joy in every day – because there really is joy in every day!

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GOOD

  • We got a new beautiful, perfect niece. Nothing compares to the angelic pureness of a brand new baby straight from heaven — and she is beautiful!!
  • In the beginning of this month I was going to jump in the shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I spent my entire shower sobbing. I hated, hated, hated what I saw. I was so discouraged and felt like I’d failed my own body. I went to bed (thankfully everyone else was asleep) and cried for hours. Something needed to change. I am grateful for my body. I LOVE my body and the two wonderful little boys it has brought me. I know that the soft, lumpy body is part of the having babies process but in my mind I looked better than the girl I saw in the mirror and I was embarrassed and bummed. So I decided I could keep on feeling sorry for myself or I could actively accept my body in its current stage while also eating healthier (because heaven knows I sure wasn’t doing that!) and exercising regularly. I have done so well! I haven’t missed a day of exercise all month. I still eat sugar because I would be miserable without it, but I’m eating much better and making better food decisions. Coolest of all? I’m already seeing results!! They are small but they are there and that was all the motivation and encouragement I needed.
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  • I have made me-time a priority the last couple weeks. Sometimes I achieve that by waking up earlier than my boys, sometimes its staying up later than the rest of my family, sometimes its tuning everything else out during my yoga practice and sometimes its doing something else. But I’ve realized that when I make me-time something that can’t be pushed off, I am a better mom and wife. I also just feel better. Why did it take me so long to allow myself mandatory time to do something for myself?
  • I have been watching my friends little baby girl a couple times a week while she works and I knew it would be fun but I had no idea how fulfilling it would be! It is so fun to have a third little one in the home – and I can do it! It makes me more confident in myself.
  • My testimony grew a lot this month. I have a lot of fears and worries and I’m nervous and anxious always. I was able to really focus on my faith in Christ this month and it calmed so many of my nerves as well as just really helping my testimony grow. I’m very thankful for that.
  • We have spent so much time outside and its an instant mood-booster. My boys love being out there and have so much fun. Now if only we could figure out how to rid our town of mosquitos.
  • My sister went to Prom and I got to do her makeup and helped them with their pictures. It was so much fun! She looked beautiful, her group seemed fun and dare I say it…I found myself actually missing high school for a little bit.
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  • I don’t know what happened but you guys, I have been on top of house work and I’m proud as heck! My house has looked great this month! I wish I could tell you what changed in me, but I really have no idea. Just one day I decided I could do better than I was doing. Hallelujah choruses have not stopped singing.

BAD

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  • I’m really good at thinking I’m a failure lately. If anything goes wrong or seems off, I automatically assume its my fault and I could have done something to prevent whatever it is. Not super fun.
  • All the boys were sick throughout most of this month. E and Wild Man had some lung congestion and E had a cough that kept him up all night. H got a little luckier with a milder version of this, but still made for some long nights. We were so happy when everyone started feeling normal again.

ON MY BRAIN

  • Have you seen Avengers Infinity War, yet? Oh my gosh. I literally cannot stop thinking about it.
  • I am going crazy being home in Utah when I know that Pixar Fest is happening over in Disneyland. Every single day (this is not exaggerating) I find myself glued to Instagram and YouTube as I watch, look at and read every single thing I can to do with with Pixar Fest. I can’t wait until we get there!!
  • Penny turned 1 finally. Everyone says the first two years of labs are the worst – oh how I can’t wait for her to be two. Just one more year! Then hopefully she’s got all the puppy-ness out of her. But why do I have a feeling she’s always going to act like a puppy? Yikes.
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March GBOMB

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GOOD

  • We blessed our sweet E this month. Blessings are so special. We keep them simple and do them in our home and to me, its the perfect way to do it. I’m so thankful for the Priesthood and for a husband who holds it and honors it.
  • H has improved on his speech so much! He’s using very simple 2 word sentences (sometimes 3), is making more sounds and trying out new words! I’m so proud of him and so excited for him!
  • It has been warm enough every once in a while that we can go on family walks. I’m feeling cabin fever much more frequently lately and being able to get out of the house with my family, breathe some fresh air and get moving is a fast, wonderful anecdote to feeling like you’ve been held prisoner in your own home.
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  • Every week when we do Family Home Evening, after going over our plans for the upcoming week, Wild Man and I make a few attainable, realistic goals for our week. We have done so good at them this month. I’m proud of us. Its been so nice to have these goals written out and to be reminded of them throughout the week. Its really helped me achieve the goals and feel more accomplished and proud of myself at the end of the day.
  • I finally got brave enough to try on my jeans that fit before I got pregnant with E. Its not comfortable, but they fit!! I have been trying really hard to exercise at least a half hour every day and be more mindful of the food I am putting in my body. Its been refreshing to finally see some results! I haven’t got brave enough to weigh myself yet…I probably won’t do that for a long time, but right now I really don’t care about the number. I’m just happy something is working and I can button those jeans! (but you’ll still find me in leggings 99.9% of the time)

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BAD

  • We all were sick for the first half of this month. Wild Man and I were never too bad, but unfortunately the boys had a rough go. E had a mild form of RSV, a double ear infection and a horrible cough and fever and H had the same terrible cough and fever. It felt like it lasted forever. We had to back out of a family trip too which was a bummer. The days and nights were both so long and sad and we were just counting down the days until they were healthy again. It took a few weeks, but finally we are in the clear and healthy.
  • Our dog has given us some serious stress this month. For whatever reason she has decided to chew on things again. We had managed to get her so well trained that she knew which toys were hers and which were the boys. She’d sniff the boys but she never tried to take them or ruin them..until recently. She’s destroyed several items and isn’t showing any signs of stopping. UGH. Everything I read says she isn’t getting enough attention which is absolutely false because this girl gets near constant attention. So if you’re a dog whisperer and know how to fix this, I’m all ears.
  • My poor boys and their sensitive skin. I’m still trying to figure it all out. H is so, so dry. I’m slowly figuring out products that work better on him but I wish it could just work faster! Lotion burns his skin. Its awful. Then little E is starting to get rashes under his chin, on his neck and on his chest. I’m 99% sure this is because he is the drooliest baby on earth and this is the result of those areas almost constantly being wet.
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ON MY BRAIN

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  • This month Disney announced that they would be replacing Bugs Land with a Marvel themed land. I trust Disney with nearly everything they do. They don’t disappoint. I know Marvel Land will be amazing – but I’ll admit I’m pretty broken hearted to hear that Bugs Land will soon be a thing of the past. H loves Bugs Land. We all love Bugs Land. I’m especially disappointed to see Bugs Land go because there aren’t a whole lot of options when it comes to rides for little ones in California Adventure. There are several rides, but none are very close together. I don’t know. A Marvel themed area is going to be awesome…but I just wish it could have been built somewhere else besides Bugs Land.
  • E is now four months old and I forgot what a fun age this is! His personality is really starting to come out. He’s ore interactive and attentive. Everything about this age has me melted into a puddle. He’s such a sweet, good baby boy.
  • A few weeks ago in Relief Society our teacher mentioned she has one of those really small Book of Mormons and she went through it and only marked passages that made her happy/gave her joy. I loved this idea so I went out and got myself a small Book of Mormon and a new red marking pencil and have been doing this. I’m loving having a focus during my scripture study and I can’t wait to have it all read and marked one day. The idea is that then, someday when you need a boost you open up this Book of Mormon and you should be able to look at any page, any verse and read something that gives you joy. Such a great idea, right??
  • General Conference is so soon. I am beyond excited. I’ve been aching for these upcoming talks and guidance. I’m very curious about what the topics will be and how they will apply to me. I can’t wait!

February GBOMB

February was so much better than January. I stuck to goals, the weight I’ve been carrying on my shoulders *mostly* came off. Things felt happier and lighter. I’m so grateful it was a much better month.

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GOOD

  • We just returned from a really fun Disneyland trip. It was E’s first time there. It sped by way too fast, which was kind of a bummer, but everything else was so great. H was so good and I realized just how much he’s grown since our last trip. You can expect some posts and new pictures about that trip soon.
  • You people are good. I did a post about how we found out H has a speech delay and the response I got was amazing. So much support, so much helpful advice and encouragement, so much love. I was also met with so many people thanking me. Apparently I wasn’t the only mother in the world who was worried about their child being a bit behind in language. I hoped my post could help a person or two – I’m glad it did.
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  • H and I have been attending the library toddler class once a week and its so much fun! Its helping H learn some new words/sounds, its a way for him to get out and socialize and its just a really cute fun half hour for the two of us to share. Check your local library and see what fun kiddie stuff they do!
  • On a whim, I bought H a fish. Named Fish. You never knew a 2 year old could love a fish so much!
  • I broke out E’s Bumbo. He looks equal parts grown up and teeny tiny sitting in there. Its so cute. He loves being in there and feels so proud of himself. H also loves sitting in it and cracks himself up.

BAD

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  • The shooting in Florida this month. I know I really don’t need to expound on this. Its awful and terrible. Its spiked my anxiety and made my worrying skyrocket. I hate that things like this happen and I hate where things like this take my mind. I feel terrible for the students, faculty and families that had to live that tragedy. My heart has been so heavy since I heard about what happened. Its horrid.
  • We ended the month (and began March) with not feeling too hot. I’m pretty sure H picked a bug up in Disneyland. I’m hoping he’s on the tail end of it now, but he has thrown up once and has had diarrhea…many, many more times. He’s been mellow and lazy and it makes me sad, but he is finally starting to eat and drink and I think things are looking up. Then poor little E has a really mucus-y, phlegmy cough that breaks my heart every time it happens. He gets laggy and a little panicky, but then he’s back to being his normal little happy self. Babies shouldn’t be allowed to get sick.

ON MY BRAIN

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  • Is there a ‘normal’ time for a baby to get blessed (in the LDS culture…)? E is 3.5 months old and we haven’t blessed him yet, but we are next month. Its basically the exact same thing we did with H. Yet I’ve had lots of people lately ask me why we haven’t done it yet. Are we doing it wrong? Does it really matter when it happens?
  • My sister in law that lives in California came out this month so we could have a baby shower for her (they hare having their first baby and I AM SO EXCITED FOR THEM). It was so much fun to see her and her adorable bump then to be able to celebrate her and her sweet babe for an evening. I guess I was in some kind of mood during her party because I kept getting so choked up about how kind people are. I think in the word we tend to hear a lot more about the bad thats happening, but there is also so, so much good happening! People are nice, people are giving and generous and have good hearts. Its refreshing to dwell on that rather than the…ugh stuff.
  • We have recently started Speech Therapy with H. He will be meeting with his speech pathologist every 3-4 weeks as of now. Going into this I’ve had a lot of thoughts and feelings. I’m so excited that he is getting help and I love his pathologist. There is also part of me thats nervous though. What if he doesn’t pick up on everything as quickly as I think he should? What if he is really shy (like he was the first time) and hardly ever says anything at all with his pathologist? Or maybe he’ll rock it!? You just never know. I’m just trying to stay positive and excited.

xoxo

ceecee

January GBOMB

I like to look at each new year as an opportunity to grow. I know that the year will bring its own unique challenges and hardships but also its own joy and excitement. I went into January 2018 with an open minded attitude – just a lot of anxiousness about the new chapter.

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GOOD

  • I have been doing so good at my goal of daily exercise! I feel good and dare I say it, even look forward to my daily sweat. I haven’t seen results yet, but I have felt them. I feel stronger and know I’m moving myself in the right direction. Its exciting and definitely makes the annoyance of daily work outs so much more worth it. …and less annoying.
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  • My testimony of prayer and relying on the Savior has grown by like 1,000% this month. Long, personal, private story – but seriously you guys, I am a changed person because of this.
  • My words of the year are Kind, Brave and Time – and I am remembering those words daily and I feel like I’m doing a good job at making them me. Especially, Time. I have spent a significantly smaller amount of time on things that don’t matter and so much more time really engaging with my sons and husband. It sounds silly and I’m kind of embarrassed to say it, but I have learned so much more about these boys. My relationship with them has grown and my life just feels better, more balanced and purposeful. Its incredible.
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BAD

  • No lies, the first few weeks of January were awful for my brain and heart. The anxiety I felt on top of my already raging postpartum anxiety and depression was crippling. I can’t even count how many times I had full on mental breakdowns. My house suffered tremendously because of it and when my house is messy, often times my brain is too. It was a vicious cycle that seemed kind of unbeatable at times. I felt so helpless and exhausted about quite a few things. Every day seemed like a challenge and my heart could barely handle it all.
  • I’ve been having some body image issues. I gained a little weight while pregnant with E and I hate that it isn’t just magically gone somehow. I went through a little phase of time where I hated seeing myself in the mirror because all I saw was access weight.
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ON MY BRAIN

  • Our sweet Prophet, Thomas S. Monson passed away this month. Of course its sad, but thinking of his reunion with his sweet wife in heaven…oh man, the thought still just gets to me.
  • We kind of attempted to start potty training. Some days H seemed so into it and others not at all. I don’t know what to do at this point? He’s kind of young for this (i think? – he’s 26 months) so I’m not necessarily pushing it.. But if he’s interested then maybe its best to pursue this? I don’t know. Its all just weird to me. How do I have a kid old enough to do this? Also, potty training a boy… its dangerous. #alwaysaimdown
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  • My little sister is on Drill Team and they had Regions at her school and I was able to go. She was so good and her team did awesome! Also, I cried through each of her dances and the Drill Down. I’m quite a bit older than my sisters and the age gap kind of makes me feel like they are my own kids at times and I was so stinkin’ proud of her!!
  • We did not get enough snow this month. Not at all. Like, where is it?
  • I finally got new pictures for our home that included little E. It made our home feel so much more complete and exciting! There is something about pictures throughout my house of my cute family that just make my heart all warm and fuzzy.
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