My Hulk Boy

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Three is a funny age. You always hear about ‘terrible twos’ but I dare say that whoever coined that phrase hadn’t parented a three year old, yet. H is hilariously unpredictable. Most of the time he is our happy, enthusiastic, curious, adventurous, rambunctious little boy. He enjoys doing good, he follows rules and he is kind.

But every once in a awhile lately he turns.

He goes from that sweet boy explained above, to a little Hulk. (fitting thats his favorite Avenger right now) He explodes with rage. He screams and starts kicking and punching. He gets mean and mad and there is no calming him down.

I’m truly at a loss right now to know how to control these outbursts, while still allowing him to be himself and let him know its ok to feel things and express how he feels. You know? But at the same time, its not ok for him to kick and punch me all the time, right? Oh, the joys of motherhood. As frustrating as it can be I honestly wouldn’t trade it for the world.

He is a great boy who I feel very lucky to be able to witness grow up and learn more about each day. This is fun. It really is.

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E’s Ears

I’m not sure if you know this or not, but my sweet baby E has had a rough go when it comes to his little ears. In his fourteen months of life, he has had twelve ear infections, most of those happening since August/September-ish, and most of them being double ear infections. We also found our pretty recently that for a while now, both of his ear drums have been ruptured. Isn’t that awful? You’d be floored to hear this if you know him or have seen him recently though, because he’s just so happy still. But it definitely now makes sense why when he was ticked, he was ticked. The pain tolerance his little body has is absolutely incredible. During a recent discussion with E’s ENT (ear nose and throat doctor), he told me that the pain he must have been feeling was so excruciating it would send a grown man to the Emergency Room. That shattered my mom heart. I had no idea. I mean, I knew it hurt, but I had no idea it hurt that badly.

We finally got him into the ENT a little while ago where they told us E needed tubes (no shock – thats why we were there). Thats also where we learned about the double rupture. Poor baby. So earlier last week, he finally got his tubes put in, along with a small exploratory surgery just to check out his ears and make sure there isn’t anything else to be concerned with. Good news, everything looks great. I’m so grateful for modern medicine and for doctors. I’m especially for doctors who make your children feel special. I was so impressed with all the doctors and nurses we talked to on E’s day of surgery. They all got down on his level and talked to him – something that social little boy really loved. It made me feel even more comfortable and confident.

Recovery has been pretty good, all things considered. The first few days involved a lot of blood and a lot of ooze, but thats all stopped now. He hates the ear drops we have to put in multiple times a day with a passion, but those are almost over with. We are so excited for a pain-free baby who hopefully hopefully hopefully won’t have to deal with anymore painful infections anymore.

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My Potty Training Tips + Tricks

*Disclaimer: I’m not an expert at this. I made the discouraging discovery just yesterday that we’ve been trying to get H potty trained for a whole year now. This is just what worked – and didn’t work – for us.

Potty Training isn’t fun. I’ll just say that up front. But, once you figure out how to make it work for you and more importantly, your little one, it gets a lot better.

I always heard not to push potty training on your toddler, and truthfully I didn’t want to because potty training sounded awful to me. So last year (ugh how has it been that long?) when H would try to climb up on the toilet and pull his pants off, I took that as the sign that he was ready for it. So we bought some underwear, I read some articles, got advice from trusted friends and family, bought some potty treats and decided to go for it. It started off ok-ish, but he never told me when he needed to go and there were so. many. messes. So I kind of lost steam, then we had a family vacation and I put him back in diapers because I didn’t want to deal with it. Then I decided to wait a while before we’d start again.

This happened a few times. We’d get into the groove, but then something would come up where it was just easier to put him in diapers or pull ups and forget about it. Also, he’d just never tell me when he needed to go. I mean, maybe a couple times a week he would, but I got exhausted trying to remind him every half hour or so that we needed to go. To make it worse, he got to the point that every time I’d bring it up he’d scream, “no!” and run away from me. Didn’t seem like he was ready, right? So again, I’d kind of give up on it. We’d have random days/weeks where we’d put him in underwear and he’d do ok. But mostly it ended in lots of gross laundry for me and an un-potty-trained toddler.

Then something clicked, and I think this is why people tell you to wait until your toddler is ready. Like really ready. I thought he was ready all those times before, but I guess he wasn’t. Because about a month ago he brought me underwear and then a few minutes later he told me he needed to go potty! Then throughout the day he just kept telling me he needed to go! Yes, I’d still remind him here and there and pooping is always an adventure, but it was like all the sudden he just got it! So we excitedly started rolling with it and its been a dream! Well, as much as potty training a toddler can be a dream.

After a lot of hit and misses when it comes to getting your kid ok with using the restroom, here are my list of do’s and don’ts. Oh also.. Apparently its common for some kids to be afraid of the toilet or going on it. H never was, he actually thought it was cool, so I don’t have any advice as far as making the toilet not scary. We just got lucky this time.

DO

  • Find some kind of award system that works for your little buddy. Treats always were a big motivator for H. We had small candies in our cupboard and if H went potty on the toilet he got two, if he pooped on the toilet he got four and if he told us he needed to go he got a bonus one. We also had a little bit of a sticker reward system going from time to time, as well. I had a small book that we titled, “H’s Potty Book” and when he went potty he got one sticker in his book, when he pooped he got two. We had a certain amount of stickers for each page (it was quite a few) and when a page was filled he had a reward we’d predetermined that he’d get to cash in on. Sometimes it was going to a certain place, sometimes it was a toy, sometimes it was a big treat, etc.
  • Celebrate potty and poop! Such a mom thing to say, but I’m serious! Make your kid feel like a million bucks when they go on the toilet – especially when they are the ones who initiate it! Sometimes H would get so pumped up and proud of himself he’d ‘have to’ go like two or three times in a row! Toddlers respond well to excitement and praise. Remember that.
  • Also hand-wash-train them. Keep in mind that after you use the restroom, you wash your hands! Get them in the habit. You use the toilet. You wash your hands. Always. Know what makes this easier? Fun soap. For example, H loves foamy soap.
  • Buy fun underwear. Kids (mine at least) are so much more motivated to not make a mess in their underwear if its exciting!

DON’T

  • Don’t make them feel bad if they have an accident. A few times I am sad to admit I told H I was mad at him for pooping in his underwear. Whenever that happened I saw that he was extra upset when it came time to go potty again. It just made there be a yucky, heavy feeling over potty training and no one needed that – especially H.
  • Don’t make the whole process this big ordeal. When we first started, I had this big system that I thought would be awesome. It was long and complicated and there were far too many steps. It was unattainable and ended up making me frustrated.
  • Don’t let other peoples opinions change your mind. I can’t tell you how many times I heard ‘is he too young for this?’ ‘is he ready for this?’ ‘you should try this instead’ etc, etc. Stick to your mom/dad gut. Do what feels right for you. Know who knows your kid the best? You. Obviously if sometimes has some awesome advice or a suggestion you totally think will work, implement it. But don’t let peoples judgements or unsolicited advice change your coarse.

WHAT I USE FOR ‘MESSES’

Laundry

  • Fels-Naptha Bar. This is what I use to initially scrub poop out of clothing. This little bar is a game changer and I absolutely swear by it. Its cheap and totally works. Highly recommend.
  • Oxi Clean. After scrubbing the clothes, if there is still some work to be done on the clothes, I soak them in Oxi Clean. Its a powder you mix in with water (i’m pretty sure you can put it in the washer too?) and it works wonders.

Carpet/Floor

  • Folex. This is all I use to get urine and poop out of the carpet. Fun Fact: it also works great for pet accidents. This stuff is insanely effective.
  • Max Odor Eliminator. I got this for our dog when we first had her as a puppy. It somehow magically takes odor right out of the carpet. Its this stay foam stuff that just absorbs into the carpet and you don’t need to vacuum it up. Its very cool.

 

Happy Potty Training! 

 

What I Hope My Kids Learn from Disney

Dear Kids,

You come from a family of Disney obsessed people. Your great grandpa started this journey, passed it to Grammy, she passed it to her kids (one of those is me) and now I’m doing my part to make sure you guys all have a special place in your heart for Disney and all its magic and wonder. I don’t know how the Disney-love will translate in your own lives as you grow up. I don’t know if you’ll find yourself saving your money to take another trip to the park or if you’ll be to every Disney movie on opening day, if you’ll have Disney decor throughout your home or if you’ll be more of a quiet and reserved fan. I’m aware of the possibility that you may not all be as Disney-crazed as some of the rest of this family, but as I said before, I just hope there is always a special spot inside of you that respects Disney and is able to identify the magic it brings into our lives.

Because Disney magic is raising you. You’re being built by Disney Magic. When I think of all the ways I want you to grow up and all the ways I want to be a good mom to you all, I find myself thinking of things I’ve learned from Disney. As silly as it sounds, its 1000% true.

Disney can teach you to dream. Disney can give you hope. Disney can remind you that there is good in the world and that most people are good. Disney can help you find joy. It can help you cope when you’re sad. It can teach you lifelong lessons and it can implant song lyrics into your mind that you’ll never forget. It can be a source of happiness. It can be a safe place you run to, to get away from reality. Disney can be a refuge. It can help you feel carefree when you are feeling weighted down. It can create magic in a regular day and a regular moment. Disney can help you embrace who you are and the unique, special individual you’re meant to be. Disney can help you change your point of view and look on the bright side. You’ll find things and characters you relate to. You’ll have moments in Disney Parks you reflect on for years and years.

Disney is a part of your childhood, I pray you always think of that with a smile on your face and are thankful for your Disney roots.

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Love, mom

E’s Birth Story

*E turned one yesterday, so I figured I better finally share his birth story!

On November 10th, 2017 I woke up to find my baby was sideways in my belly. This wasn’t abnormal though. He hardly ever was head down like he should have been and was changing positions almost daily, even though he was big and we were super close to his due date. We referred to him as a ninja a lot. Wild Man predicted he’d be stubborn. I texted Wild Man and told him the baby was definitely sideways. I could feel his head on my right side and his bum on my left. He responded by telling me not to worry yet, “not like the baby is going to come today.

Later that day we were invited to eat dinner at Craig’s parents house with his parents and brother. We went over around 6 and sat down to eat around 6:30. We hadn’t been sitting down for five minutes when all the sudden, I kid you not, the lights flickered and all the sudden I felt a strange, very wet sensation take over the lower half of me. I looked up (and locked in eye contact with my brother-in-law haha) and said, “I think my water just broke!” Except I’m not sure why I said ‘I think’, because there was no denying that was what this was. Baby time. We left H at my in-laws (ugh, I hate leaving my babies) and went to our house to grab our hospital bags and I changed my clothes.

When we got to the hospital they did that test to make sure your water really broke (it did) and I was admitted. My nurse checked me and said, “you’re dilated, but I don’t feel a head,” to which I told her he was definitely sideways. By this time my contractions were coming on top of each other. Ouch. They called for an ultrasound to check my babies positioning. Sure enough, he was sideways. Then my doctor came in to look at the ultrasound and he briefly considered moving him in my stomach (he’d done this a couple weeks earlier and it HURT), but decided that with the positioning of the umbilical cord, it wasn’t safe. I remember him checking me and saying he could see my babies bottom. He looked up at us and said, “I think the safest option is a c-section.” Without hesitation we agreed to it. Whatever is best for baby, you know?

Since E was essentially on his way out bum first, we were deemed an emergency c-section and immediately people were preparing for surgery. I was taken quickly into the OR where I got all prepped and got my spinal tap (which was amazing! haha). I was a little nervous, ok, very nervous, but getting relief from pain definitely helped me relax. Then we were ready to have this baby!

Everything was routine until the very end. My doctors told me later they almost never see this, but as they were removing E, his body was outside of me and his little head got caught in a contraction basically. By this time they’d brought a mirror to me to watch him be born, and I just remember being so happy to see him, but I was also scared. Why was my baby stuck? Also his body was gray. It was a lot of emotions.

Finally, he was freed! But he was gray and not making a sound. As quickly as I could lay eyes on him, he was gone to another room. They took him and my husband and left me alone in the operating room with a team of doctors. I hated it. Oh, I hated it. I wanted to see my baby! But most of all, I knew he was in the room next door and I wanted to hear him cry. I needed to know he was ok. My doctors were trying to keep my mind off of it, I could tell. I kind of remember them telling me I lost a little more blood than usual but I’d be fine. I don’t remember anything else they said. I was just listening for my baby, sad I hadn’t touched him yet.

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It felt like forever, but finally from the room next door where he was being worked on by a NICU team, I heard him scream. And scream. And scream. Hallelujah! I was still being stitched up when Wild Man came in holding our little 8.5 pound bundle. He laid him on my chest/neck and E nestled his little face into my cheek. I could hear his little snorts and grunts right in my ear. Though I couldn’t really see him, I was so happy to have him with me. Touching me. Right where he needed to be. We snuggled there for a while and then they took him and Wild Man to the nursery to do all the little tests and what not, I remember they said they’d do extra tests on his lungs and breathing, since he wasn’t breathing at birth (all came back fine – he’s been totally fine and healthy since!) and I was still getting put back together. I was sad I couldn’t go to the nursery with them, because with H, I was able to.

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Once I was all finished, I was wheeled back to the delivery room, handed my phone and given some water. Then I just sat there. No baby to hold. It was a crappy feeling, but I was happy to know he was ok. Now I just wanted to hold him! I was so shaky and a little dizzy, but I started texting my mom since I had no baby to love on yet.

Finally, about 2 hours after having him, Wild Man and E came into our room and I got to hold that sweet, sweet boy. Its been heaven ever since. He immediately nursed like a champ, he was go-with-the-flow and happy, but made hilarious grumpy faces. He fit perfectly into our family and has given us so much joy and happiness since.

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Sleep Saga part 1

I’m not gonna lie, I’m hoping that in the future this saga will have a happy ending. I don’t care how many ‘parts’ there have to be to this, but I am determined that sometime soon (oh i hope, i hope, i hope) I will no longer have to be worrying about this so much. What is this you ask?

SLEEP TRAINING MY (ALMOST) 1 YEAR OLD

I have been scouring the internet for success stories, amazing advice and tips and tricks and I’ve found quite a bit. I’m ready to start. I’m ready to share my story step by step in hopes that maybe somewhere along the day I sleep deprived mom can find my blog and learn something from my experience and feel motivated and pumped up to get her baby to sleep better at night.

CURRENTLY

So where are we right now on day one of this? We are in a very frustrating, overwhelming and sleepless spot, thats where. My dearest, darlingest little E is a wonderful tiny human, but a terrible, awful sleeper. Right now he wakes up 10-15 times a night – maybe more. Sometimes he falls back asleep quickly, but sometimes he doesn’t. 99.9% of the time he has to nurse to fall back asleep. Because of the frequent middle-of-the-night-wakes, he sleeps in between Wild Man and I in our bed (don’t shame co-sleeping here, parent-shaming is a no-no on this page) which has been just fine for months and months, but lately…its time for a change. He’ll be one in a couple of weeks. Its time he learns how to sleep in his own room, in his own crib and its time he learns that he doesn’t have to nurse all night long (seriously, thats what he wants – the second my boobs gone, he’s livid).

What I don’t need is any comments telling me that I’ve brought this upon myself and created this little non-sleeping monster. This is exactly what I did with H and he’s an amazing sleeper. But clearly, every child is different. With H, around 8/9 months old I got him totally comfortable and happy in his crib/bed. I’ve tried with E – its just not working. He’s stubborn and persistent. He will scream all night long until someone holds him. Until he’s nursing. Because I’m so tired at night, its easier not to fight it and just let him sleep in our bed all night – nursing what feels like every 30 minutes. But I just can’t do it anymore. I need my bed back. I need to not be nursing all night. I need to have my baby sleep in his own bed and sleep all through the night, which is something he has never ever done in his life, just so you know. I am ready. I’ve been patient for nearly a year but that hasn’t worked. Its time to buckle down. I’m going to be persistent. I’m motivated. I’m going to get E crib/sleep trained. Boo-ya!

THE PLAN

Last night I ordered a sound machine off Amazon. It should be here tomorrow or the next day. So much of what I’ve read has said that a sound machine is a must. I’m banking on this to help us greatly. I’m debating if I should start the sleep training tonight or if I should wait a day or two until the machine comes. Either way, I’m excited and hopeful for this.

I’ve read a lot of ideas and I’ve literally made pros and cons lists of all these different techniques I’ve found. Here is what I, as of now, have planned to do.

Bedtime is at 8:30/9. Before bed we’ll have a bath, then a snack/small meal to ensure his tummy is full, then we will read books, read scriptures and say a prayer (with an emphasis on E’s sleep schedule) and then I’ll sit in the chair in his room and nurse him until he’s either almost asleep or fully asleep. *I’m not sure if I should make him be all the way asleep when I lay him down – I’ve read that its good to put them in their crib awake, but drowsy so they learn to self-soothe, which totally makes sense. We’ll see what I end up doing. I’ll keep you posted. Then I will lay him in his crib, tell him that I love him and goodnight, make sure the nightlight is on and leave the room and shut the door.

I am 100% sure he’ll scream and cry. At 5 minutes I will go in and comfort him. I won’t pick him up, but I’ll lay him back down, pat his back, sing to him, whatever. Then I’ll leave again. I can go back in every 10 minutes as needed for the remainder of the night.

I’m anticipating not sleeping at all the first few nights because if I know my son (and I do), he’s not going to fall asleep without a feisty fight. But everyone who has tried this has said to stay strong and not cave and all the sudden it will click and your baby will figure it out. I’m banking on that.

MY PREDICTION

Full disclosure, I’m not sure how I’ll do the first night. I’m going to feel guilty and sad. I’m going to feel terrible for E while he cries alone in his room. But I’m also going to feel good, because I know its time. Its past time.

I think he’s going to fight it hard core. I’m not sure if he’ll really sleep at all those first nights. Its going to be a struggle. Its going to be hard. But I am wanting to put in the work.

However, if we start this and it just feels wrong and uncomfortable I am allowing myself the freedom to quit. Its possible this isn’t the right technique for us. If I feel that way, then we’ll start back at square one and find a different way to sleep and crib train. In the end, its whatever is best, safest and ok-est for E.

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Wish us luck as we start this journey! I’m nervous, sleepy and excited! I’ll keep you posted on how it all goes! Stay tuned for the Sleep Saga part 2!

10 Months Postpartum

Before I had kids I knew that the first few weeks after having a baby would be unpredictable with postpartum stuff. But I foolishly also believed that once my child was like 2-3 months old I’d be in the clear. Silly me. I was so wrong. In my case, my postpartum anxiety gets really bad and scary right around 2/3 months, so I was definitely  wrong in assuming I knew how life after baby would be.

A couple days ago I hit 10 months postpartum with my second child. I am still deep in all that postpartum craziness. Some days are awesome and some days are not. Some things are going pretty well and others aren’t. These things all swap places, moods and feelings fluctuate and its really hard to tell what day will be a good one and which will be harder.

I like to look back on my life and reflect on things. This is the post to someday remind me what 10 months postpartum with E (and 34 months postpartum with H – haha) looks like:

  • Postpartum Anxiety is still real. I had a few good months where I felt like I had a handle on it, but the last two months haven’t been as lucky. There are so, so many scary thoughts floating around my head that I have to work hard at battling every day. Sometimes I can combat the fear and anxiety easier than other days. I never know what to expect.
  • My body isn’t going back to my pre-body as quickly as it did with H. Granted, I’m aware I’ll never have that pre-baby body fully back, because I’ve now had two babies. I am poochy and soft in some places, but honestly I don’t mind too much. I’m feeling quite confident in my mom bod. I exercise daily, I eat good (ish) and I know that my body is what gave me these sweet boys of mine. So right now, I can’t complain.
  • More of a Mama Bear is emerging from me. I’m very much a person who hides away from confrontation, but lately I’m a lot better and puffing my chest up and standing up for my kids benefit. Maybe someday I’ll figure out how to do that for myself haha.
  • I know I’ve said this before, but I feel like I fully mean it this time – I’m getting my groove back. I’ve finally figured out how to manage keeping the household under control and (basically) tidy, while taking care of two little boys. I’ve still got a lot to work on and learn, but I’m getting the hang of it and feeling confident about it, so I’m proud of myself.

Its so crazy to think that in two months E will be ONE and H will be THREE. What? Where does time go? All I can say is I hope the next two months are kind to me and that I’m kind to me as I continue to be in this postpartum ‘fun’.