32 Weeks + Some Venting/Worries/Whining

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Today I’m 32 weeks pregnant with the worlds most frequently hiccuping baby and all the sudden that seems really, like really close to my due date! I feel decently ready. We have the stuff we need and we are super eager to meet this little guy, but there are always the nerves (for me at least). I have this fear of getting to the hospital and realizing I forgot something important and even though I know I have plenty of people who could swing by my house or stop by the store, I still worry. Its really fun living inside my paranoid brain guys.

Now if you aren’t in the mood to read a pregnant girls whining and venting then maybe you should just close out now because its about to get rambly.

I had my 32 week appointment today. I was pretty much ready to have this confirmed, but I have SPD (symphosis pelvic disorder) which basically means my muscles, ligaments and bones are already loosening, stretching and aren’t properly aligned. Thats great when you’re about to have a baby, but its a pain (literally) when you still have 8-ish weeks left. Its been going on for the last 3-4 weeks and basically its just awful pain down yonder. I am popping in my hips, pelvic bone and pubic bone and its excruciating. Did you know your pubic bone can even pop? Well it can and it’ll stop you in your tracks and can even make you cry if it catches you off guard enough. Pretty much everything from my mid back to my mid-thighs hurt so bad that I’m waddling and moving like a 100 year old woman and theres pretty much nothing that can be done. Except have a baby in several more weeks. Its discouraging to basically hear, ‘yep, thats gonna hurt and it’ll keep hurting until you have a baby,’ but I’m grateful that its only pain I am feeling and baby boy is doing great. While we are talking about pain, I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this or not yet, but I’ve had this for a few months now but…vericose veins. Down there. Its as crappy as it sounds and hurts like crazy. Pregnancy hurts sometimes.

At my 28 week appointment baby was sideways. My doctor wasn’t too worried because it was still early enough that he didn’t have to be head down yet. Well today he is completely breach. Head up, bum down. Exactly the opposite of where we’d like him to be. Again, its too early to really get too worried about it but…c’mon, this is me we’re talking about. I’m worrying. Duh. My doctor said its still possible he’ll flip but it is trickier for baby to flip the bigger they get. He also said sometimes during labor if they are breach they’ll just randomly flip into the correct position. He also said that his partner is really good at flipping the babies in the stomach closer to delivery and has a pretty high success rate. Although I hear thats a very painful option – eek! But if it comes to that I’ll totally give it a try. Then he explained that if baby just won’t flip then the safest route to deliver baby would be via c-section. At first that scared me, but people have c-sections all the time and I’m a firm believer in getting baby here safely, no matter what method that is by and if we have to do a c-section then I won’t fight it at all. But its still hard to process when you hear that your perfect baby isn’t in the perfect situation and you may not have the vaginal delivery you’ve been visualizing your entire pregnancy. For some reason I’ve been really emotional about grasping that today. Which just makes me feel crazy. Because honestly if it comes to a c-section I have no issues with that. So why do I keep crying? Hormones are doing me no favors.

Ultimately, the most important thing is that baby brother is doing amazing, growing great, is right on track. Nothing is more important to me than to hear that! I can’t believe he is due in 8 weeks.

(which also means i’ll have a 2 year old in 8 weeks – gulp!!)

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

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Help! I’ve Gone Insane.

Well I guess I’ve just reached that point of pregnancy. I’m losing my mind, I have very little control of my emotions and I literally feel like a crazy person. 10-ish weeks left. Please wish me luck, send me good vibes and pray for my family that has to deal with me.

I’m assuming that a lot of all this madness is due to the fact that I can’t get a good nights sleep for the life of me. Between back and hip pain, heart burn, never being able to get comfortable, nausea, being so hot I could melt into a puddle and my brain thinking about all the things I need to do before baby gets here and how excited I am for baby – sleep just doesn’t come easily. I wake up feeling more tired than I felt the night before and the sensation doesn’t go away throughout the day. I’m just always tired and hurting.

Oh and my brain? Its all over the place and incredibly unreliable. I don’t even want to tell you how many spa clients and other important appointments I’ve forgot about. Its infuriating. I am usually on top of things but lately I’m so far from that person. I’m taking the phrase ‘scatter-brained’ to a whole new level. I can’t even carry on a normal conversation without forgetting a word thats simple and used daily or keeping my train of thought (its going to be amazing if this post makes sense at all to be honest).

Then there are my emotions which are all. over. the. place. One second I’m laughing hysterically, the next I’m so ticked off and annoyed about something, then I’m sobbing for who knows why and the next thing you know I’m curled in a ball on the couch filled with worry and anxiety. Its unpredictable and exhausting.

I’m grouchier than normal. I’m far less patient than usual. I’m more anxious. I’m more hard on myself and feel more guilt. I’m less (much less) motivated. I’m lazier. I’m slower. But I’m trying – most the time – to fight those darn feelings and be ‘normal’ as possible. Some moments are easier than others.

But for now I just feel like a mess. My brains a train wreck and I just want to take a nap.

Pregnancy, you’re fun.

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

30 Weeks!


Yesterday I hit 30 weeks pregnant! I can still so vividly remember reaching this point when I was pregnant with H and feeling so proud, excited and CLOSE to baby time. A lot of those same feelings are happening again, but also so many more. I think that since this time I’m already a mom, my whole attitude is different. I basically know what to expect this time. I know I am capable of at least decently raising and caring for a little human. I know how much I’m going to love this baby. I know what needs to really get done before his arrival and what can be put on the backburner if need be. 

Mostly I am just really, really excited. I’ve been having a lot more dreams about baby boy lately. When I lay in bed and can’t sleep or have free time during the day I find myself daydreaming about this new baby and watching him and H grow up together. I have a lot more feels. I feel a lot more in tune with my body. But I’m still definitely not patient. Ten weeks (ish) left and I worry they’re going to drag on because of how anxious I am to get this little guy here. I tell myself all the time how close November is, but have you ever realized that a lot of the time when you’re really excited for something it tends to come slower? I’m hoping that isn’t the case. Maybe like the rest of the pregnancy it will come quickly. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about labor too. I think it’s normal to be nervous. My labor with H was really straight forward and we both reacted totally fine with no real issues (except my epidural not working but that’s not a big deal really). There is part of me so worried that I couldn’t possibly repeat such great luck. But thankfully the more people I talk to, the more I’m made aware it’s actually very possible. I was recently talking to a friend who had her second child several months ago and she told me that leading up to her birth she had these same concerns but decided to just imagine her ideal delivery situation. Power in positive thinking! For her it totally worked. I know every situation is different. But I love this idea of focusing on all that could go right instead of wrong. I totally believe that sometimes your thoughts and attitude can influence the way something turns out. I’m channeling that. 

It’s crazy to think that in 10 weeks give or take H will finally meet his little brother. I’ll finally be able to snuggle this tiny guy and I’ll finally get to see Wild Man become a father again and melt into a puddle of emotions while I watch him dote over another sweet son. I am so darn excited!

xoxo

Magical Monday: Visiting Disneyland While Pregnant

When people hear how many times I’ve been to Disneyland while being pregnant I typically get the same reactions, “is it even fun?” “can you even do anything there?” and so on. If you’ve asked me such questions, then you know I have a very strong answer to this – similar to when people ask me if its worth taking infants or small children to Disneyland. YES IT IS STILL FUN. YES IT IS STILL WORTH IT. YES THERE IS STILL LOTS TO DO AND ENJOY. YES YOU WILL STILL HAVE A MAGICAL TIME. I don’t think when Walt Disney created the park he said that he wanted everyone of all ages to enjoy Disneyland except the expectant mothers. That just doesn’t seem like something the most magical man ever would say.

Yes, your vacation to Disneyland while pregnant will likely be quite different from the trips you’ve taken before sans bun-in-the-oven. I can almost guarantee you that you’ll feel hotter quicker and feel a little sleepier faster and then of course there is the discomfort your body feels. BUT don’t let that stop you. Be openminded and remember that yes, you’re pregnant, but you can still have a magical time. Remember that a positive attitude can do you wonders!

Its probably a good idea to alert your OB/GYN that you’re planning a trip to the Happiest Place on Earth. If they’re like mine they’ll likely tell you to have a great time and to make sure not to ride any of the fast/jerky/rough rides and to listen to your body and put that first and send you on your way. Obviously every pregnancy is different, but this is how its gone for me so far.

So lets talk about what you can do so I can hopefully convince you that Disneyland while pregnant is still a magical experience, deal?

  • All the slower, non-thrill, crazy rides! You may hear this and roll your eyes and think to yourself ‘how boring’ – but I promise they’re not!! Some of the best rides in many peoples opinions aren’t the thrill rides if you can believe it. Remember, you have to have a different mindset on this trip so make sure that mindset is open to the less crazy rides and I promise you’ll have a lot of fun on them. Another way to look at it is its time off your feet!! I’m a big foot-sweller so I’m extra thankful for some time being seated.
  • You can also take this opportunity to really enjoy the shopping Disneyland has to offer. I know a lot of non-pregnant people know about the great shops, but you’d be surprised how many people bypass the shopping altogether so they can get more rides in. I totally get that. But one of my favorite things has been wandering through the different stores as my family goes on one of the rides I am not currently able to ride. Its fun to window shop – or actually shop and add to your Disney souvenir collection!
  • Whats most pregnant women’s favorite thing to do? (well, mine at least) EAT! Some of the food at Disneyland and California Adventure have the power to change your lives, people. I’d personally recommend (in disneyland) Pommes Frites at Cafe Orleans, Corn Dogs from Stage Door Cafe, Chicken Fried Chicken from Carnation Cafe, any treat from Jolly Holiday, a Dole Whip outside of Tiki room and (from california adventure) a Chili Cone Queso from Cozy Cone, cotton candy – you can find this all over the park and ice cream – again you can find this all over.
  • Watch the shows such as parades, actual productions, fireworks, World of Color, Fantasmic, etc. These are more aspects of the park I feel like people quickly will pass up in order to get on Space Mountain when the line isn’t too long but now that Space Mountain isn’t even an option for you, why not give them a whirl? You’ll love what you see.
  • Slow down and smell the roses. In other words, be ok with the fact that you’re going to need to take some breaks. People watching in Disneyland is fun! Its ok to pop in another store or restaurant because you need some air conditioning in your life. Don’t be afraid to work your way through the park at a much slower pace than you’re used to. You’ll be able to observe more and see more of Disney’s clever, hidden magic.

There is so much more I could expound on and add to this post. I just wanted to graze the surface here and show you all how possible it is to still enjoy your time at Disneyland even when you’re waddling and take up more space than you once did. Disneyland is for everyone! – even you, pregnant lady!

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

Another Thank You

I’ve said this many times before, but this pregnancy I haven’t felt as sick as I did with my first pregnancy, but my body has hurt so, so much more. This has made nighttime rather difficult for me – and also for Wild Man. I toss and turn all night. I can’t lay on my back or my heartburn flares up really bad and I can’t stay on my right or left side very long without my body just aching and hurting and locking up – and I can’t lay on my stomach for obvious reasons. So I’m rolling from my left side to my right side all night. But lately I can’t roll very easily and I made a lot of noise, bounce around and sound like some kind of animal in distress.

Wild Man is way too humble and doesn’t want me to share all the reasons why he is so busy. But if you know him then you know. He works his butt off all day long for our family and not to mention he wakes up disgustingly early. But this sweet man still wakes up with me nearly every time I roll from side to side to help me get into my new position a little more comfortably. Its probably impossible to stay asleep while I wallow around, really, but the fact is he doesn’t have to sit up and help me but he still does it because thats what a sweet, good person he is. I feel bad because he goes to bed late and wakes up early and doesn’t rest throughout the day, but he’s never once complained or made it sound like a hardship for him.

He makes his hormonal, emotional, uncomfortable wife a very, very happy lady and I hope he knows just how grateful she is for him.

…and this picture has nothing to do with the post, but look what a good dad he is, too. Taking H on a ride on ‘Space Mountain’ 😉

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xoxo

ceeceesparkels

THIRD TRIMESTER!

Today I am officially 28 weeks pregnant which means, hello THIRD and FINAL trimester!! It is crazy to me how fast this milestone has come. I feel like I need to hurry quick to finish up all the last minute baby things I need to do because November is going to be here in just a couple more blinks of an eye, I swear! I’m certainly not complaining though. I’m really, really excited to meet this baby boy and for H to meet his brother and to watch their friendship begin. The end of pregnancy is so anxiety-ridden but also super exciting. Now just to work on my patience…

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Not a whole lot has changed since my last update but I’ll throw in a few bullet points just so I can remember someday.

  • The. Pressure. Down. There. I don’t want to get gross or graphic but its a painful situation and gets worse every day. I love being pregnant and I try really hard to be positive and grateful for everything my body is going through while I’m growing this child, but this is one thing I will not be sad to be rid of once I have this baby.
  • Nothing new at all, but the hip, back and leg pain is still very much there and very much annoying. Wild Man is my dream man though and has figured out some things to do that give me temporary relief and I’m so thankful for that. He bought me the TheraCane and it looks silly and made up but its been a huge lifesaver. If you’re pregnant and experiencing back, hip or leg pain please do yourself a favor and get this because it will be a huge blessing in your life.
  • I got my diabetes test back! Are you ready for this? I passed! But just barely – like seriously barely. I am .1 away from being the number that classifies you as having GD. My doctor was oh so kind and said that he won’t put me on the super strict diet like I was on last time, but he encouraged me to take it easy on the foods that can really trigger crashes and to listen to my body and talk to a nutritionist. I couldn’t…still can’t…decide if this is good or bad news. I’m thrilled not to be for real diabetic, but I still wish I could have been 100% in the clear.
  • A few weeks ago the crazy morning sickness started up again. I never really got rid of it during my second trimester but it was at least a little better. But its back now!
  • Baby is so wiggly! My belly looks like the ocean waves and I feel like I am always trying to be ready for an unexpected kick or jab in my belly. Its so much fun. I love being able to feel that little person inside of my stomach.
  • I don’t like the way clothes look on me right now. I am just sick of all the clothes I have so I usually end up in leggings and one of Wild Man’s t-shirts.
  • Because I’ve been gaining weight this pregnancy (i gained only a few pounds with H) I have been thinking a lot more about my body after baby. I haven’t even gained a lot (i think i’m at like 13 or 14 lbs now?) but I’m getting myself all anxious about getting my ‘pre-baby body- back. Its way too early to be worrying about this and there is literally nothing I can do right now, but for some reason its very much on my mind.

I’m not sure how many more updates I’ll do before I actually have baby. Its crazy to think that my next doctors appointment will be when I am 32 weeks! Time is flying and it scares me but I’m lovin’ it!

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

My Little Boy

I have been hit pretty aggressively with the realization that we are down to just a few months of having just one child. Our sweet baby H. The perfect little bundle of joy who made us parents and introduced us to a happiness and overwhelming feeling of pride we never could have known if it weren’t for him. 

My heart is feeling torn in so many different directions. Of course I am beyond thrilled to have our second little boy in November. I’ve dreamt my whole life of having several kids and that’s still my dream! I am so excited to see H become a big brother and to finally meet this little brother of his. I am so anxious to see his face, to learn his personality and to soak all of him in. I actually feel more excited this time around, probably because this time I’m not so clueless. I know how special my children are now. I know how much I love them and how much I love being a mom. I can’t let myself dwell too much on this or else I turn into an emotional puddle. 

But then there is the part of me that knows how much H’s world is going to be rocked. Life as he knows it is going to drastically change and a part of me, in a weird way, feels a little bit guilty. People who often joke about how H is going to be second place, etc certainly don’t help the way I feel either. He is very accustomed to being the one and only. He’s used to undivided attention and snuggles on demand. I know it’s good for him to learn that the world in fact doesn’t revolve around him…but there’s still guilt!! 

I hope he can figure out quickly that he’s still so loved. Our love isn’t going to lessen for him even in the slightest. In fact I’ve heard the love we have for him will even grow! Our hearts are just going to get bigger so we can have the same amount of love for little brother! I hope he sees that he’s still our world, our joy and our tiny best buddy. Because he is – he always will be!

I know that especially once the baby is here I will feel differently. I’ll just know our new family of four is perfect and meant to be. I know that now, come to think of it – I’m just.. I don’t know. Am I even making sense or do I just sound crazy? I am so in love with this crazy 20 month old and I want him to never feel that his value has decreased just because another baby joined our family. It’s giving me so many emotions I honestly wasn’t anticipating. It’s funny how I am so far past elated for this new addition but at the same time feel a tinge of guilt. 

Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s ever felt like this? Also please tell me it’s just hormones or a phase or something and I’ll get over this before November?!

xoxo

ceeceesparkles