A Heaping Dose of Reality

See this picture? This (high quality) photograph is a pretty perfect depiction of my life since March.

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My morning sickness started kicking in pretty intensely at about 5 weeks for me and if I remember correctly, thats about when it came in when I was pregnant with H as well. I really don’t like complaining about pregnancy stuff because I know there are some women out there who would give up everything to feel the way I feel. I was an only child for 8 years and watched my mom wish for another baby. I have friends who had to wait a really long time to get their baby and some who are still waiting. I totally understand how lucky I am to be pregnant with my second child right now. I don’t take this experience for granted and although I do complain occasionally, I hope its not mistaken as me not being happy about growing a baby or being able to physically grow a child.

But sometimes it feels good to complain a little, am I right? I’ve been losing weight, I throw up several times a day, I live in constant fear that I’ll be diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes again, I have no energy or motivation, I’m so dang tired and I just don’t feel like myself yet. I remember there came a time during my pregnancy with H sometime during my second trimester that I eventually figured out how to force myself to be productive and be a functioning human being again and I’m really hoping now that I’m in my second trimester I can figure that out again, soon.

I’m so grateful for my husband and for the patience he has had. He went from having a good wife who did all the housewife jazz to a wife who lays on the couch and forgets grocery shopping and meal planning all together most weeks. He has been the dish-doer, the laundry guy and the person who straightens up our house and he hasn’t complained or made me feel bad or guilty about it once. I mean, I still do feel guilty about it, but its just because of my own thoughts. I married a real good man and I hope he knows that I’ll be back at my wife duties soon (fingers crossed)!

I also have to talk about what an angel H has been. His mom is BORING right now you guys. I can’t tell you how guilty I feel about this subject. H is a wiggly, active, energetic little boy who just wants to play and to be played with. Yet his mom is usually gross on the couch and is turning on yet another Disney movie for him. But he has rolled with this change so effortlessly and so easily and I couldn’t be more thankful for it. He plays happily by himself on the floor but still makes sure to crawl up on the couch with me from time to time to cuddle and give kisses. He’s been a dream boy through this. Lately I have been able to get down and play with him a little more often and I hope it just keeps getting better because you can just tell how much he loves it! But I’m also really glad that he knows how to play alone and self-entertain when he needs to. I have an amazing little boy.

So anyway. Life is weird right now. I’m lazy and sick and tired and gross. But I’m really grateful that I get to have another sweet baby and that our family is going to grow. Every second, no matter how barfy, is worth it in the end.

And I end this post with a picture of my family this past Sunday – a rare occasion when I actually got ready.

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xoxo

ceeceesparkles

The Freaking BEST

I’m a Master Esthetician and I own my own spa that is in my basement. It keeps me busy and I really love that its my job. The thing I do the very most is eyelash extensions and doing them is really fun because for a few hours I get to chat with my cute clients/friends. Its really awesome to talk to these great ladies and socialize, laugh, vent and all that great stuff. A few days ago I had a client who doesn’t have kids yet and she was asking me lots of questions about how I like being a mom. I kind of got the idea that she’s not in any rush to have children because a lot of her questions basically ended with her saying, “it seems so hard” “it seems messy” “it seems like so much work” “it sounds like you never have time for yourself” and so on. And thats just fine! Everyone has their own opinion and they know themselves best so I’m totally not bashing on that. I like being really honest about motherhood. I don’t sugarcoat stuff because I feel like real life needs to be more regular instead of all this i-have-a-perfect-life stuff. I just have my little 18 month H right now (and the baby I’m currently cookin’) and yeah, life with him is busy and messy and sticky and poopy. It comes with the age! It comes with the fact that I wanted to be a mom! Sometimes, yes, it does make me want to cry and pull my hair out – like when I leave the room for less than a minute and walk into my kitchen to find him drawing on the tile floor with a permanent marker…

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…but its also the best thing I could ever do. The rumors are true. Life changes BIG time when you add a child to your life. Priorities change drastically. You find that you focus less on yourself and more on this little person who is in need of another diaper change. Your house gets a little messier and your walls/cupboards/everything gets stickier. You’ll sleep less, worry more and feel completely clueless but also all-knowing. It changes you in ways you could never prepare for and no one could ever accurately depict to you. But if you want my opinion, its honestly the greatest thing EVER. I knew I wanted to be a mom since – well forever. I was always (still am) the girl who wants to hold all the babies and when I’m not pregnant I long for the days that I am again (yes, even with how sick I get). But even with how excited I was to be a mom and how much I knew I’d love it, its still surprised me with just how incredible it is. Nothing compares. Nothing, to me, is more fulfilling.

 

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I love being a mother. I understand that it isn’t for everyone, but it is absolutely for me. My hairs never been dirtier, my clothes have never been messier and the bags under my eyes have never looked scarier, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love my sweet little guy. He’s my best friend and the cutest little partner. I am so excited to meet our new baby and to get to know it so closely and carefully. I’m eager for our future children. And hey, I’m even super excited for my grandkids! Kids are just the best and being a mom is the greatest. Its the freaking BEST.

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

Magical Monday: Another Disneyland Getaway

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Do you know how hard it is to take hundreds of magical, really cute pictures from Disneyland and narrow it down to a handful for your blog? Very hard. I wanted to post these in the first few days of getting home from our trip, but I just barely announced that I am pregnant (yesterday) and I didn’t want to announce sooner, but I couldn’t post some pictures before you knew our big news because in some of these pictures its quite obvious that theres a baby in my belly. So now that you know Baby #2 is a cookin’ I can finally share some Disneyland pictures from our latest vacation to the happiest place on earth!

We were there just three days, but they were a very magical three days. As per usual, H was awesome. He was so good and well-behaved and obsessed with meeting characters and loved going on rides. He loved rides so much that when we’d get off rides he’d completely lose it. Cast Members would often approach him and be like, “Its ok! You’re off the ride now!” But little did they know he wasn’t sad because he hated the ride, he was sad because he hated getting off the ride! I think this time his favorite rides were Casey Jr, Small World, Nemo’s Undersea Voyage and the carousels.

Day One:

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Eating at Cafe Orleans is a must for our family. Mainly because they serve pommes frites ย and they are to die for. They’re seriously the most delicious thing you’ll ever eat.

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My husband is the cutest. On our first day, he agreed to match with my two little sisters. Isn’t that sweet? I love the relationship that my sisters have with my husband. They’re all buddies and so cute and fun with each other.

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Day Two:

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We ate at Goofy’s Kitchen (in the Disneyland Hotel) on our second day and it was a blast. Goofy and his friends come around and visit you and there is a buffet with a lot of different foods to choose from. Its one I highly suggest.

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Day Three:

I always insist on a 3D glasses picture when we’re in line at Toy Story Mania. H is still not so sure about the glasses so this picture was as good as we got.

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See what I mean about the baby in my belly flaunting its stuff?

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I love the Toy Story Mania line. We always seem to take a lot of pictures while waiting in it. Oh, and enjoy another peek at Baby #2. (I’m showing so fast)

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We ate at Hungry Bear for lunch as per my sisters request. This is another one of our go-to’s that we’re always very pleased with. How cute are my sisters??

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And we’ll end with our last family picture we took in the park at the Rivers of America.

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Disneyland never disappoints. It never will. I’m so grateful to be able to go there so often and to be in a family that crazily obsesses over it with no shame. I’m currently in a state of deep depression because I miss it so badly, but I guess that just means we’ll have to go back that much sooner!

Until next time, Disneyland…

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

Park Day and Good Vibes

Sunshine is absolutely therapeutic, people. This great weather and H is obsessed with being outdoors (when he wants to go outside he goes to the door and starts knocking on it furiously) so for the past week we have pretty much lived outside. We pretty much only go inside for naps and dinner (lunch is outside a lot). It is the best. The. Best. I don’t understand why, but there is something so nice, relaxing and refreshing about being outside. It has given me the opportunity to get away from my phone and given me a clear mind. Its given me wonderful bonding time with my son and has just done something for my spirit. I feel better, I feel more confident and in control, I feel happier and more calm. Who knew something as simple as the weather could do this for me.

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So You Want to Have a Dance Party?

Since I am a SAHM and I have a very busy husband, I have a lot of one-on-one time with my little man. I super love planting our bums on the couch and watching a movie or two, but I try to make sure that we have a lot more time playing and being active than we do being potatoes. One of our most recent favorite pastimes lately are having full-blown dance parties. We hook the music on my phone up to our AppleTV and turn our music up loud and dance dance dance! H has some killer moves consisting of small squats, thigh slaps, hand claps and gentle head banging that blow my moves out of the water, but we dance hard nonetheless. Bonus: If you actually dance (or attempt to) it also counts as cardio!

Seeing as these dance parties happen at least once a day and H and I are kinda feeling like pros at this, we consulted and decided to share with you our favorite dance party playlist! Spoiler Alert: Its all Disney music. Are you surprised? You shouldn’t be..

OUR DANCE PARTY PLAYLIST

  • Try Everything (from Zootopia): A classic dance song. I don’t think anyone can listen to this song without at least tapping their toes to the beat.
  • I Just Can’t Wait to be King (from Lion King): Why is this such a little boy song to me? It makes me so proud that H loves this one so much.
  • Be Our Guest (from Beauty and the Beast): I really didn’t think this would be such a dance song but H lights up when he hears it so I can’t ever skip past this one when it comes on (not that i’d want to – its a great song!)
  • Sugar Rush (from Wreck It Ralph): Oh we have fun with this one and according to H, this is a great one to thigh-slap to.
  • The Bare Necessities (from Jungle Book): Wild Man sings this song all. the. time. so it seemed like a necessity (see what i did there?) to add this to our playlist.
  • You’re Welcome (from Moana): We are big fans of this song here. And we are sooooo excited for this movie to come out super soon!
  • Winnie the Pooh (from Winnie the Pooh, duh): I can’t hear this song now without picturing H doing this cute little squat while clapping his hands and smiling. He is a big fan of Pooh Bear.

And by that point I am exhausted and H is ready for a snack.

Think there are any songs we’re missing on our go-to Disney Dance Party Playlist?

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

Juggling Act

I am pretty much a stay at home mom. I have the spa in my basement but a bonus about owning my own spa is that I make my own schedule thats convenient for me and my family. So I still consider myself a stay at home mom. And when you’re a stay at home mom that entails several things – such as cleaning. But you guys. Cleaning gives me severe mom guilt.

I promise I’m not saying this in hopes that it will give me an excuse not to clean anymore (although wouldn’t that be great?) When I take a chunk out of the day to clean, or even take a few minutes to straighten something around the house I feel so guilty. I think its because right now H is at the age where he needs to be able to see me at all times, preferably touching me and playing with me. So when I’m cleaning I am in and out of rooms and moving too quickly for him to be able to grab me so then he follows me around the house crying or reaching for me – and that makes me feel guilty!

Even when its only a few minutes I feel sad when I can’t give him 100% of my attention. I know this sounds crazy and it probably is but this is how I feel. I know a few other moms who I have talked to about this and they literally look at me like I’m an insane person and basically say “you make time to clean and your kids going to live, promise” and I believe that. I still do make time to clean and I’m proud to say my house generally looks very nice considering a one year-old tornado goes through it a million times a day, but that does not make it any easier.

I clean and the entire time I’m doing so I feel lousy and I feel like I need to apologize. I know it doesn’t really bother H. Sure in the moment he is sad but the second I get down on the floor with him he forgets about it. But I don’t. I think about it the rest of the day then I go to bed with a pit in my stomach and a build up of anxiety that I brought on myself. Its a cruel, evil cycle.

But I do want to state that I absolutely believe that a happy, played with, cared for, looked after child is FAR more important than a clean house. It actually really bothers me when people say they don’t have time to hold their newborn or they don’t have time to play with toys with their toddler because they needed to make sure the house was spotless and in tip-top shape. Isn’t being their mother like…the most important thing? Who cares if it looks like your living room is Santa’s workshop! There are kids in your home making memories, having fun and learning! Nothing is more important than that!! I’m not even going to get started on this because believe me I could rant like no ones business on this subject. Everyone moms the way they feel best. Thats what I remind myself.

Anyway. I will say that I definitely shirk housewife responsibility far more than I opt out of playing with my son. And I feel good about that. Really good.

A couple days ago I cleaned my house really good. I literally did every single house job except for laundry and it was sparkling by the time I was done with it, thank you very much. I was excited with how good it looked and how fresh it smelled. But then there was my cute little guy sitting on the couch watching Finding Dory and before I could feel any more pride in my housekeeping-ness, in set the harsh guilt. Is anyone else like this? Or am I really just that crazy? Maybe don’t answer this question actually. I just mostly needed to vent and get it out in hopes that I could make some sense of it.

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I love my job. I love being a stay at home mom and I love learning every day how to be better at it.

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

We Love to See the Temple

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On Tuesday The Captain and I took lunch to Wild Man and work and visited with him for a little while. On our way home something kind of special happened and I wanted to share the experience.

Before we had our son Wild Man and I were awesome at going to the temple. For more than a year after we were first married we went once a week and once that became a little more difficult we still were able to be there once a month, if not twice. When I got pregnant is when things started to slow down – way down. I was always terrified to be in the temple for fear of throwing up and not being able to make it to a garbage can, or passing out or who knows what else could happen to a sick pregnant lady. I know it was wrong, but that became my excuse as to why we couldn’t go very often. Then we had our baby and the temple has embarrassingly basically become a distant memory.

I know that when you become a parent getting to the temple is harder, but its certainly not impossible. People do it all the time, yet I was still making that my excuse. I couldn’t make weekly or even monthly time for the temple because I had a child. (shaking my head at myself)

As I was driving home with H chatting in the backseat I was thinking about this. I made a mental note that we needed to get there and soon. Almost immediately after I thought that another thought popped into my head – and I don’t think it was a thought of my own – that said, “then go.” I kind of shook it off and thought again that we need to go soon. Then the other voice in my head said, “then go.” I will, I thought to myself, but again I heard, “then go!” a little louder.

Um. I couldn’t go. Not right now! I had my one year-old in the back seat and you can’t enter in the temple until you are eight, everyone knows that. But again and louder I heard it, “then go!” More excuses popped into my head. Am I just supposed to stand outside? I can’t go in with H. It’d be silly to just stand outside, its freezing! I thought of every excuse I could, but then I also thought about how both H and I had our big winter coats in the car. We could wear those? But wouldn’t people think we were weird or think I’m a bad parent for taking my young child out in twenty degree weather to stand on the temple grounds for a while? And as you could probably guess, I heard it again. “Then go!

So I changed my course and we drove to the Provo Temple.

I’m embarrassed it took me so long and that I came up with so many excuses to not go. Because the second my car pulled into the temple parking lot my eyes immediately filled with tears and my heart and stomach felt like a fire was burning inside them. All the sudden I realized just how badly I needed to be there. I didn’t need to be physically inside the temple, I just needed to be in the presence of the temple and be able to feel the peace that radiates from it on its grounds.

H and I bundled up in our coats and hats and I carried him to the front of the temple and sat him down. Immediately he began running around and headed straight towards the fountains. We spent the next half hour pacing around the beautiful temple grounds as that same spirit kept raging inside me. I would look at my son and feel overwhelmed with love as I thought of our eternal family and how blessed we are. I felt so peaceful and joyful and like everything was right in my world for those thirty minutes. I was so happy I’d finally listened to the prompting and gone to the temple with my son.

I had no idea that I was in need of a spiritual boost and just a boost of heart. I had no idea how badly I needed to be on the temple grounds and to feel the spirit so strongly. It reset my heart and mind and gave me renewed perspective and positivity. It charged my battery exactly how I needed it to – even though I didn’t know I needed it. The Lord works in such amazing ways.

It was the highlight of my year so far. Being on the temple grounds chasing my sweet son and talking to him a little bit about the gospel and saying a quiet prayer in my heart. A sculpture of Joseph, Mary and Baby Jesus were up in front of the temple and that made the experience all the sweeter. It was incredible.

I want to also remind all the parentsย that even when you think you don’t have time for the temple because you’re a busy mother or father – you do! Heavenly Father loves you and He understands your situation and sometimes just being on the temple grounds is enough. I truly believe this now. (though I definitely still recommend planning a date to go inside the temple)

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