My Little Boy

I have been hit pretty aggressively with the realization that we are down to just a few months of having just one child. Our sweet baby H. The perfect little bundle of joy who made us parents and introduced us to a happiness and overwhelming feeling of pride we never could have known if it weren’t for him. 

My heart is feeling torn in so many different directions. Of course I am beyond thrilled to have our second little boy in November. I’ve dreamt my whole life of having several kids and that’s still my dream! I am so excited to see H become a big brother and to finally meet this little brother of his. I am so anxious to see his face, to learn his personality and to soak all of him in. I actually feel more excited this time around, probably because this time I’m not so clueless. I know how special my children are now. I know how much I love them and how much I love being a mom. I can’t let myself dwell too much on this or else I turn into an emotional puddle. 

But then there is the part of me that knows how much H’s world is going to be rocked. Life as he knows it is going to drastically change and a part of me, in a weird way, feels a little bit guilty. People who often joke about how H is going to be second place, etc certainly don’t help the way I feel either. He is very accustomed to being the one and only. He’s used to undivided attention and snuggles on demand. I know it’s good for him to learn that the world in fact doesn’t revolve around him…but there’s still guilt!! 

I hope he can figure out quickly that he’s still so loved. Our love isn’t going to lessen for him even in the slightest. In fact I’ve heard the love we have for him will even grow! Our hearts are just going to get bigger so we can have the same amount of love for little brother! I hope he sees that he’s still our world, our joy and our tiny best buddy. Because he is – he always will be!

I know that especially once the baby is here I will feel differently. I’ll just know our new family of four is perfect and meant to be. I know that now, come to think of it – I’m just.. I don’t know. Am I even making sense or do I just sound crazy? I am so in love with this crazy 20 month old and I want him to never feel that his value has decreased just because another baby joined our family. It’s giving me so many emotions I honestly wasn’t anticipating. It’s funny how I am so far past elated for this new addition but at the same time feel a tinge of guilt. 

Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s ever felt like this? Also please tell me it’s just hormones or a phase or something and I’ll get over this before November?!

xoxo

ceeceesparkles 

Back to Me!

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Finally at 22 weeks pregnant I am feeling almost 100% myself, again and I want to shout this good news from the rooftops! When I got pregnant with H, though I was really sick, I still felt *normal* as I could. I was able to get things done, I was able to find motivation even if it was just in small bursts, I was still myself more or less. But this time around it took me so long to feel that way. Like I said, I’m still not 100% but I can see and feel the changes finally. I’m able to keep the house clean, stay on top of laundry and do the dishes regularly. I can put effort into dinner again. I just feel so much better. So much more me!

This all came at the perfect time really because this past week poor H has been the sickest I’ve seen him. He got hit with a nasty bout of diarrhea and then also started throwing up. Just when I think he may be on the mend he has another yucky diaper or throws up again. Its kind of heart breaking. Seeing him laying on the couch for hours at a time just watching movies is sweet but also really sad. But thankfully now that I’m able to be motivated I’m able to keep up on the dirty laundry this poor sick boy has created in ever growing piles. I’m able to keep his room and bed (ohhh the messes that have happened in his crib) clean and sanitized and feel like I’m doing all that I can and should be doing to hopefully help him along the road to recovery. Its a good feeling – feeling like I’m able to give my all to being the best mom I know how to be to my more than deserving little guy.

I know this is a short, random little post. But I’m feeling really jazzed about feeling good. And really hoping H can join me soon in this feeling good party. ::fingers crossed::

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

 

A Month with the Pup

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We have had our sweet puppy girl for a month now (well like a month and a week if you’re wanting to be technical) and I most certainly have some thoughts and feelings about this. So many of my friends have kids and dogs and they rave about what a wonderful thing it is to have kids who have dogs. I knew I wanted that. Wild Man and I always talked about how we were going to get a family dog but we weren’t planning on getting her until later. Getting her ended up being kind of a rushed decision, but I truly do not regret it. Yes, we have a one year old, a baby on the way and a puppy. It is a little overwhelming and crazy, but overall it has been a good thing. I got really frustrated with her the other day and I’m not going to lie, for a split second I was ready to text Wild Man and say we are selling the dog – I’m done. But then I thought about the month we’ve had with her so far and I honestly think I’d be devastated if we got rid of her. She drives me nuts but we already love her and she’s part of the family.

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By far my favorite thing about having a dog is the relationship that H has with her. Its no secret that she loves him the most and he adores her right back. If H could talk I have no doubt she’d obey his commands the best and quickest. H is sad when we leave her and when we come back she’s always most excited to see him. These two are going to be such cute friends growing up. However their friendship is not all sunshine and rainbows. I often refer to them as frenemies. H for whatever reason gets really rough with her sometimes. He loves to yank on her ears, pull her tail, poke her eyes, step on her while she sleeps and so on. She’s a good girl and doesn’t ever retaliate but I still feel bad for her. But she’s not innocent in this either. Her favorite chew toy is unfortunately still H. Its getting better though – thank heavens. 90% of the time, however, they’re the best of pals hanging out on the floor or her dog bed together, snuggling and bonding. I love it. I am so glad my boys have a dog to grow up with.

This next point is kind of good and bad I guess, but I love that she is challenging me. She motivates me to get outside, go on a walk or just sit in the grass when I’d rather be on the couch watching tv. She has also made me more patient and has greatly shown me where I lack in patience. She has also been awesome motivation to keep the house clean so she doesn’t chew up everything in view.

She’s picking up on training pretty quick and we are really proud of her. She is a lab and labs are kind of notorious for being easy to train and for picking up on things quickly. We can mostly attest to that. She caught on to house training and being crate trained within like 3-4 days and has rocked those ever since. House training was the thing I was most worried about but she has proven to me that she’s reliable and has got it down. We hang a bell on our back door that she rings when she needs to go out and she’s so good at it! Its a massive relief. She’s not awesome at responding to her name yet but she improves every day. She’s good at come finally, too, which is nice. She’s mastered sit and lay down and we’re starting some more tricks now like stay, shake, etc. We are also working daily on training her to walk good on a leash which 9 times out of 10 she’s great at. She’s really a good girl.

Then theres the biting. And she’s recently discovered her bark. Those two things kind of make my blood boil. I am so sick of being bitten by razor sharp puppy teeth! I know I got myself into this by buying a dog, but oh my heck I hate it. Everyone says its because she’s a puppy and she’ll grow out of it – I can’t wait. For now we are working with her best as we can. I’ve definitely seen improvement but theres also a long way to go. The barking is new. The barking is loud and ear piercing. This is our latest challenge we’re tackling head on because this just isn’t acceptable in my house (do i sound like a prude yet?)

So yeah. She is a challenge and she is a pain and she tests my patience hourly. BUT we love our girl and are very pleased with our quick decision we made a month ago to randomly get our family dog.

June GBOMB

June was so good to me. It was busy and a little overwhelming and stressful, but what month isn’t?

GOOD

  • We found out this baby is a BOY! I always said I was fine with a boy or girl, but after we saw that he was a boy I felt so relieved I guess? I think I secretly hoped it was a boy. A brother for H sounds so exciting and fun and I really can’t wait to watch these two grow up together. IMG_6240
  • Wild Man had his birthday and we had his annual big pool party at my parents which was a blast. The weather was great, the company was lovely and I always love when people celebrate Wild Man because he really is one of the best, most selfless, friendly people that deserves love and attention.
  • We got a puppy! She’s a black lab that is keeping us busy and also driving us a little bit crazy, but we have high hopes for her and are excited that we finally got our family pet! IMG_6329
  • H has his molars and it has opened up a whole new world for us. I trust him so much more with food that scared me to give him a month ago and he is loving not having to chew with his front teeth anymore.
  • We started up Mom and Baby Swim Parties again for the summer! This is where a bunch of my friends and their babies come to my parents pool. We swim, eat snacks. socialize (and in last weeks case get crazy sunburned) and its really fun and something I really look forward to. The kids have fun but I think its especially great for the moms.
  • I’ve been feeling quite a bit more healthy this month! I’m still sick and throwing up, but I feel like its a lot more manageable and I’ve got some more of my energy back so I’m acting a little more human and its incredible.
  • H has figured out the beauty of sleeping in. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been more proud of my boy.
  • My grandparents from Idaho came down for a quick visit and we had a little reunion/surprise birthday party for my grandpa at my parents pool and it was so much fun. It lasted all day and every second was so enjoyable.
  • H got his first haircut. If it even counts as a haircut. He just had a few spots that grow a lot quicker than other spots, but it made such a big difference and he was SO good during the process!

BAD

  • H had his first wake-up-covered-in-his-own-poop experience. I’ll spare you details. Just know it was gross and I’d really be ok if we wait a long time before that happens again.
  • We got a puppy! I mean, its not bad that we got a puppy but its just…hard. She bites everything all. the. time. And her favorite thing to bite is H – NOT ok! She’s actually caught on to potty training, sleeping in her crate and doesn’t bark very often so thats really nice. But ohhhhhhh the biting. Also sometimes I wonder why I thought it’d be so easy to take on a one year old, a puppy and be pregnant. IMG_6146
  • My sciatic pain and hip and back pain have suddenly gone from bad to worse. I hobble like a little old lady and the shooting pain that I get is so terrible. I went to the chiropractor and thankfully had a few days of sweet relief. I can’t wait to go back.

ON MY BRAIN

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  • I am so glad that I have clients that come to my spa that recognize that I’m a mom and a sick pregnant lady so when I have to reschedule they are so understanding and patient with me. I try not to do it often, but when I do I’ve been met with kindness 99.9% of the time and I’m so thankful for this. People are good.
  • I recently found a girl I kind of knew growing up on social media and started following her and then had to stop very soon after. She was so awful and it made me sad. Nearly everything on her social media pages were her bashing on women for their success, claiming they didn’t do anything to deserve it, dragging them down because of their looks and stuff like that. I don’t actually want to get it on it because it kind of infuriates me but it just made me sad! I so wish people could just be happy for other people! Can you even imagine how much kinder the world would be if we were happy for people and their success? If someone is doing what makes them happy we should respect that and be happy for them – not tear them down.
  • A few days ago H had my phone and someone sent my Relief Society President the emoji of a hand flipping the bird. Luckily she thought it was a pointer finger – but I can’t quit thinking about how awkward that was.IMG_1704
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Mission Breakout has still not been ridden by me in California Adventure and this is a tragedy. I think about this multiple times a day.
  • What did I wear last time I was pregnant because I hate everything I put on my body right now. I need a new wardrobe, stat. If you have great maternity clothing suggestions PLEASE send them my way.
  • I’m getting a Prenatal Massage soon and all I’m saying is it better live up to my high expectations I have for it. I have been dreaming of this since the day I found out I was pregnant. So no pressure to whoever my massage therapist is. IMG_6371.jpg

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

A Heaping Dose of Reality

See this picture? This (high quality) photograph is a pretty perfect depiction of my life since March.

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My morning sickness started kicking in pretty intensely at about 5 weeks for me and if I remember correctly, thats about when it came in when I was pregnant with H as well. I really don’t like complaining about pregnancy stuff because I know there are some women out there who would give up everything to feel the way I feel. I was an only child for 8 years and watched my mom wish for another baby. I have friends who had to wait a really long time to get their baby and some who are still waiting. I totally understand how lucky I am to be pregnant with my second child right now. I don’t take this experience for granted and although I do complain occasionally, I hope its not mistaken as me not being happy about growing a baby or being able to physically grow a child.

But sometimes it feels good to complain a little, am I right? I’ve been losing weight, I throw up several times a day, I live in constant fear that I’ll be diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes again, I have no energy or motivation, I’m so dang tired and I just don’t feel like myself yet. I remember there came a time during my pregnancy with H sometime during my second trimester that I eventually figured out how to force myself to be productive and be a functioning human being again and I’m really hoping now that I’m in my second trimester I can figure that out again, soon.

I’m so grateful for my husband and for the patience he has had. He went from having a good wife who did all the housewife jazz to a wife who lays on the couch and forgets grocery shopping and meal planning all together most weeks. He has been the dish-doer, the laundry guy and the person who straightens up our house and he hasn’t complained or made me feel bad or guilty about it once. I mean, I still do feel guilty about it, but its just because of my own thoughts. I married a real good man and I hope he knows that I’ll be back at my wife duties soon (fingers crossed)!

I also have to talk about what an angel H has been. His mom is BORING right now you guys. I can’t tell you how guilty I feel about this subject. H is a wiggly, active, energetic little boy who just wants to play and to be played with. Yet his mom is usually gross on the couch and is turning on yet another Disney movie for him. But he has rolled with this change so effortlessly and so easily and I couldn’t be more thankful for it. He plays happily by himself on the floor but still makes sure to crawl up on the couch with me from time to time to cuddle and give kisses. He’s been a dream boy through this. Lately I have been able to get down and play with him a little more often and I hope it just keeps getting better because you can just tell how much he loves it! But I’m also really glad that he knows how to play alone and self-entertain when he needs to. I have an amazing little boy.

So anyway. Life is weird right now. I’m lazy and sick and tired and gross. But I’m really grateful that I get to have another sweet baby and that our family is going to grow. Every second, no matter how barfy, is worth it in the end.

And I end this post with a picture of my family this past Sunday – a rare occasion when I actually got ready.

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xoxo

ceeceesparkles

The Freaking BEST

I’m a Master Esthetician and I own my own spa that is in my basement. It keeps me busy and I really love that its my job. The thing I do the very most is eyelash extensions and doing them is really fun because for a few hours I get to chat with my cute clients/friends. Its really awesome to talk to these great ladies and socialize, laugh, vent and all that great stuff. A few days ago I had a client who doesn’t have kids yet and she was asking me lots of questions about how I like being a mom. I kind of got the idea that she’s not in any rush to have children because a lot of her questions basically ended with her saying, “it seems so hard” “it seems messy” “it seems like so much work” “it sounds like you never have time for yourself” and so on. And thats just fine! Everyone has their own opinion and they know themselves best so I’m totally not bashing on that. I like being really honest about motherhood. I don’t sugarcoat stuff because I feel like real life needs to be more regular instead of all this i-have-a-perfect-life stuff. I just have my little 18 month H right now (and the baby I’m currently cookin’) and yeah, life with him is busy and messy and sticky and poopy. It comes with the age! It comes with the fact that I wanted to be a mom! Sometimes, yes, it does make me want to cry and pull my hair out – like when I leave the room for less than a minute and walk into my kitchen to find him drawing on the tile floor with a permanent marker…

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…but its also the best thing I could ever do. The rumors are true. Life changes BIG time when you add a child to your life. Priorities change drastically. You find that you focus less on yourself and more on this little person who is in need of another diaper change. Your house gets a little messier and your walls/cupboards/everything gets stickier. You’ll sleep less, worry more and feel completely clueless but also all-knowing. It changes you in ways you could never prepare for and no one could ever accurately depict to you. But if you want my opinion, its honestly the greatest thing EVER. I knew I wanted to be a mom since – well forever. I was always (still am) the girl who wants to hold all the babies and when I’m not pregnant I long for the days that I am again (yes, even with how sick I get). But even with how excited I was to be a mom and how much I knew I’d love it, its still surprised me with just how incredible it is. Nothing compares. Nothing, to me, is more fulfilling.

 

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I love being a mother. I understand that it isn’t for everyone, but it is absolutely for me. My hairs never been dirtier, my clothes have never been messier and the bags under my eyes have never looked scarier, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love my sweet little guy. He’s my best friend and the cutest little partner. I am so excited to meet our new baby and to get to know it so closely and carefully. I’m eager for our future children. And hey, I’m even super excited for my grandkids! Kids are just the best and being a mom is the greatest. Its the freaking BEST.

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

Magical Monday: Another Disneyland Getaway

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Do you know how hard it is to take hundreds of magical, really cute pictures from Disneyland and narrow it down to a handful for your blog? Very hard. I wanted to post these in the first few days of getting home from our trip, but I just barely announced that I am pregnant (yesterday) and I didn’t want to announce sooner, but I couldn’t post some pictures before you knew our big news because in some of these pictures its quite obvious that theres a baby in my belly. So now that you know Baby #2 is a cookin’ I can finally share some Disneyland pictures from our latest vacation to the happiest place on earth!

We were there just three days, but they were a very magical three days. As per usual, H was awesome. He was so good and well-behaved and obsessed with meeting characters and loved going on rides. He loved rides so much that when we’d get off rides he’d completely lose it. Cast Members would often approach him and be like, “Its ok! You’re off the ride now!” But little did they know he wasn’t sad because he hated the ride, he was sad because he hated getting off the ride! I think this time his favorite rides were Casey Jr, Small World, Nemo’s Undersea Voyage and the carousels.

Day One:

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Eating at Cafe Orleans is a must for our family. Mainly because they serve pommes frites  and they are to die for. They’re seriously the most delicious thing you’ll ever eat.

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My husband is the cutest. On our first day, he agreed to match with my two little sisters. Isn’t that sweet? I love the relationship that my sisters have with my husband. They’re all buddies and so cute and fun with each other.

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Day Two:

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We ate at Goofy’s Kitchen (in the Disneyland Hotel) on our second day and it was a blast. Goofy and his friends come around and visit you and there is a buffet with a lot of different foods to choose from. Its one I highly suggest.

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Day Three:

I always insist on a 3D glasses picture when we’re in line at Toy Story Mania. H is still not so sure about the glasses so this picture was as good as we got.

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See what I mean about the baby in my belly flaunting its stuff?

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I love the Toy Story Mania line. We always seem to take a lot of pictures while waiting in it. Oh, and enjoy another peek at Baby #2. (I’m showing so fast)

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We ate at Hungry Bear for lunch as per my sisters request. This is another one of our go-to’s that we’re always very pleased with. How cute are my sisters??

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And we’ll end with our last family picture we took in the park at the Rivers of America.

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Disneyland never disappoints. It never will. I’m so grateful to be able to go there so often and to be in a family that crazily obsesses over it with no shame. I’m currently in a state of deep depression because I miss it so badly, but I guess that just means we’ll have to go back that much sooner!

Until next time, Disneyland…

xoxo

ceeceesparkles