Waking Up

I am not entirely sure what has caused this but I am so thrilled to announce that I am feeling so, so good.

The weather is getting warmer and we are spending a lot more time outside.

I’ve made an exercise goal and I’ve stuck to it. I’ve made a healthy eating goal and I’ve (mostly) stuck to it.

My anxiety, though still very prevalent and powerful, is a little easier to control.

My efforts in different areas of life are bringing about results.

A newfound confidence is slowly creeping back into my life.

I allow myself to be proud of who I am and of my accomplishments, no matter how small or large.

I have made myself a priority. I make sure I always have even a few minutes of uninterrupted me-time a day and its life changing.

The glass is half full.

Sometimes I think I forget that after having a baby you don’t instantly go ‘back to normal.’ If you ask me, you never go back to whatever normal was. You change, but it takes a while to embrace the change and feel all the way good about it. I feel like I’m still in that. Life is different and I’m a different person. But I’m becoming more and more ok and comfortable with this with each passing day. Not every day will feel this way, so I’m mindfully really enjoying these days where I’m feeling so good and I’m praying it lasts a while.

Advertisements

You Will Never Regret Being Kind

A couple of days ago I ran to the grocery stores with my boys for a just a few items I needed. We live pretty darn close to a grocery store so I decided to load the boys up in the stroller and walk over. In my mind it was going to be the perfect, quick activity. My boys love being outside, the weather was beautiful and the grocery store would be a fun little change of scenery. I was so, so wrong. So wrong. E started crying hysterically only seconds into our walk and H started crying hysterically once we got to the store and I wouldn’t let him out of the stroller. Before I knew it they were both fully tandem tantrums of the highest caliber – which is weird because I’m actually very lucky and my boys are usually very well tempered. I figured since I only had a couple of items to grab I could hurry and it wouldn’t get too bad. Again, so wrong. It quickly went from bad to worse. The boys were just hard, getting louder and I was getting overwhelmed. Its not the first time I’ve felt stressed out in a store before, but it was already kind of one of those days and then I met eyes with a older man who was glaring at me! A full on angry, annoyed stare. It tipped me over the edge and I’m embarrassed to admit it, but my eyes started welling up with tears and when the man saw this, he rolled his eyes and walked the other direction. I was embarrassed. My feelings were hurt. I felt defeated and very, very frustrated and just sad. I know I shouldn’t feel that way, its part of motherhood and I have a toddler and a baby! Of course they throw fits, its what they’re supposed to do from time to time. But this man just got to me. I wanted to sprint out of there with my wailing children and scream and cry in my room. But I was almost done with my list so I decided to toughen up and finish, even if I was apparently ticking some people off.

Some people suck. Some people are impatient and inconsiderate. Its incredible how a rude comment or look can send someone spiraling.

The only reason I didn’t leave the grocery store with tears flooding down my face and leaving all my groceries behind was because of the wonderful, kind people that I thankfully also encountered.

No one did anything huge or went really out of their way, but they still saved me mentally and emotionally. I received a lot of sympathetic smiles. I saw a lot of women who just gave me that look like, ‘I’ve been there, so sorry!’ I even encountered a sweet woman who left her cart, approached me and squeezed both of my shoulders and said, “you go girl!” They were small, simple things but in that moment of stress, frustration and embarrassment it was 100% what I so desperately needed.

You guys. It is not hard to be kind. It will cost you nothing. It will make someones day. You will feel good about yourself. You will help the world be a little bit brighter, happier and kinder. Unfortunately sometimes the mean things stand out more than the kind things, but the good news is that there is usually more kind in your life if you look for it. I’m encouraging you to do your part to make sure there is kindness in the world though! Just smile! Don’t glare at a stressed out mom! Compliment someone! Offer simple favors! Send a nice text message! Write something nice on someones instagram post! Say hi! Just be kind, however that may look or sound.

This has been your public service announcement from a frazzled mom who was pretty shaken up by some grouchy man in the grocery store but is very grateful for nice people with nice smiles and simple words of encouragement.

xo

April GBOMB

A very late April GBOMB…

April was just what I needed. It was a breath of fresh air. The temperature got warmer and my spirits got higher. I have never really experienced the winter blues before, but I definitely had them this year. The boys and I have felt so cooped up in our house and we are more than thrilled to see Spring weather and knowing Summer is around the corner. But the bugs.. Ugh, why bugs? I really got myself on track this month. The habits I’ve been striving to form and hold to are being kept finally! I’m proud of my progress and I’m getting better at recognizing the positive parts about myself rather than the negative. This just felt like a month of growth, acceptance and actively finding joy in every day – because there really is joy in every day!

IMG_7438

GOOD

  • We got a new beautiful, perfect niece. Nothing compares to the angelic pureness of a brand new baby straight from heaven — and she is beautiful!!
  • In the beginning of this month I was going to jump in the shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I spent my entire shower sobbing. I hated, hated, hated what I saw. I was so discouraged and felt like I’d failed my own body. I went to bed (thankfully everyone else was asleep) and cried for hours. Something needed to change. I am grateful for my body. I LOVE my body and the two wonderful little boys it has brought me. I know that the soft, lumpy body is part of the having babies process but in my mind I looked better than the girl I saw in the mirror and I was embarrassed and bummed. So I decided I could keep on feeling sorry for myself or I could actively accept my body in its current stage while also eating healthier (because heaven knows I sure wasn’t doing that!) and exercising regularly. I have done so well! I haven’t missed a day of exercise all month. I still eat sugar because I would be miserable without it, but I’m eating much better and making better food decisions. Coolest of all? I’m already seeing results!! They are small but they are there and that was all the motivation and encouragement I needed.
  • IMG_7300
  • I have made me-time a priority the last couple weeks. Sometimes I achieve that by waking up earlier than my boys, sometimes its staying up later than the rest of my family, sometimes its tuning everything else out during my yoga practice and sometimes its doing something else. But I’ve realized that when I make me-time something that can’t be pushed off, I am a better mom and wife. I also just feel better. Why did it take me so long to allow myself mandatory time to do something for myself?
  • I have been watching my friends little baby girl a couple times a week while she works and I knew it would be fun but I had no idea how fulfilling it would be! It is so fun to have a third little one in the home – and I can do it! It makes me more confident in myself.
  • My testimony grew a lot this month. I have a lot of fears and worries and I’m nervous and anxious always. I was able to really focus on my faith in Christ this month and it calmed so many of my nerves as well as just really helping my testimony grow. I’m very thankful for that.
  • We have spent so much time outside and its an instant mood-booster. My boys love being out there and have so much fun. Now if only we could figure out how to rid our town of mosquitos.
  • My sister went to Prom and I got to do her makeup and helped them with their pictures. It was so much fun! She looked beautiful, her group seemed fun and dare I say it…I found myself actually missing high school for a little bit.
  • IMG_8091
  • I don’t know what happened but you guys, I have been on top of house work and I’m proud as heck! My house has looked great this month! I wish I could tell you what changed in me, but I really have no idea. Just one day I decided I could do better than I was doing. Hallelujah choruses have not stopped singing.

BAD

IMG_6868

  • I’m really good at thinking I’m a failure lately. If anything goes wrong or seems off, I automatically assume its my fault and I could have done something to prevent whatever it is. Not super fun.
  • All the boys were sick throughout most of this month. E and Wild Man had some lung congestion and E had a cough that kept him up all night. H got a little luckier with a milder version of this, but still made for some long nights. We were so happy when everyone started feeling normal again.

ON MY BRAIN

  • Have you seen Avengers Infinity War, yet? Oh my gosh. I literally cannot stop thinking about it.
  • I am going crazy being home in Utah when I know that Pixar Fest is happening over in Disneyland. Every single day (this is not exaggerating) I find myself glued to Instagram and YouTube as I watch, look at and read every single thing I can to do with with Pixar Fest. I can’t wait until we get there!!
  • Penny turned 1 finally. Everyone says the first two years of labs are the worst – oh how I can’t wait for her to be two. Just one more year! Then hopefully she’s got all the puppy-ness out of her. But why do I have a feeling she’s always going to act like a puppy? Yikes.
  • IMG_8021

Mom

To my first and forever best friend, the person who taught me to be kind and search for the good in others and in all situations, who instilled in me a fierce love for all things Disney, who is the reason I’ve wanted to be a mother myself since I was a tiny girl and is the ultimate example of motherhood. To the woman who taught me manners, who’s quiet, powerful testimony I clung to as I got one of my own, who held me accountable, who never missed a recital, game, concert or ceremony, who showed me its ok to be yourself and to be honest. To the woman who makes me laugh, who has wiped countless tears, who always answers the phone and text messages, who listens to me work through anxiety and who never makes me feel inadequate but leaves me feeling fortunate and special. To the woman who I have admired from the day I was born, who is beautiful, magical, wonderful and humble, who is comfortable, genuine, generous and a secure safe place, Happy Mothers Day!

I am proud to be your daughter and I am proud to call you mom.

Peplum of My Dreams

You guys know I am not a fashion blogger by any means. When I am posting about clothing, its because I really like it. A few months ago I found myself in a rut. I wore the same outfit every day and it was leggings and a t-shirt. My body is still soft and I’m still working on feeling confident in this after baby body and am most comfortable in flowy, loose clothing. But so often my clothing that fit that description was just another t-shirt. I realized it was actually taking a punch at my happiness and the way I felt about myself! So I decided it was time to buy some clothes that were still comfy and easy to wear while chasing my toddler and hangin’ with my baby. Around this same time I was contacted by the cutest online shop called Cleo Madison.

The adorable peplum blouse they sent me – called the Cassidy Peplum Top – is the shirt I have been dreaming of. It is a beautiful color, a great style (lose, flowy, but still pretty) and the fabric is soft and stretchy and lightweight – perfect for the upcoming warmer months. I also learned it washes well – the first time I wore this and planned to take pictures in it, E had a blowout that got all over both of us (TMI?)

A big thank you to Cleo Madison. If you need one of these beauties for yourself – which I’m pretty sure you do – you can find it here.

What have you guys been wearing lately that you love? Anything especially great for hiding a soft post-baby body while you’re working on getting it a little less squishy? 😉

Click here to visit their full website!

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

Lately

How are there people out there who blog daily while being a mom/wife? Share your secret because I quite obviously don’t know how to!

Lately we have really just been focusing on family. Since February there haven’t been any big trips or huge noteworthy things we have done. Our family of four have gone on several fun outings to different museums and now that the weather is finally getting warmer we are really enjoying daily walks and time outside all together. Life is good. My heart is full and I am grateful.

IMG_7438

 

Speech Update and Q&A

I am so proud of H. He has been in Speech Therapy for a few months now and he is doing so, so well! I have seen so much progress and in the last couple of weeks he has just turned another big corner. My heart could burst! When we began this journey with our sweet Speech Pathologist I really had no idea what to expect. I didn’t know if change would happen quickly or if it would require a lot of patience. For us, it is definitely taking time and patience, but changes are happening! H is talking with an open mouth (he used to mainly ‘talk’ through closed lips), he is trying new sounds, will mimic words and is even using very simple 2 (sometimes 3) word sentences! We still have a ways to go and more goals to accomplish, but little by little my awesome, smart H is reaching those goals and making his mom beam with pride.

IMG_1189.jpg
H working with his sensory box – one of the several activities we have to help him use words and grow his vocabulary.

I know a while ago I said I was planning on making a video and posting it about our journey and giving advice and answering questions. Well, I still haven’t done that, though I still plan on doing so. Just bear with me – sometimes I’m a procrastinator. But for now I thought I’d answer a few of the questions I’ve got from several people. If you have more questions let me know what they are – I am happy to answer them in the best way I know how. Keep in mind, I am not a professional. I’m not a Speech Therapist or Pathologist, I’m not kind of medical professional and don’t even entirely know what I’m doing. I’m just a mom with a two year old with a speech delay and this is all based off of our personal experience.

How do you tell your child has a speech problem? It all started when I realized there were toddlers much younger than H that could speak a lot more. At first I chalked it up to knowing everyone develops at different speeds, etc. But it just became more and more relevant as time went on. I read stuff online about speech delays and realized he had a lot of the qualities as children with speech delays. I never really was 100% sure if he did have a delay though because you always hear about those late-talkers or those kids that just wake up one day and are able to speak so well. I just kept waiting for that magical day where he’d wake up and call me mom. But it wasn’t happening, so I finally talked to my husband about my concerns and together we went to our pediatrician to discuss our worries and the options.

What are some ways you’re helping H speak? I make sure he is hearing language all the time. I am constantly talking to him. I’m repeating words he is working on. He has a sensory box that encourages tons of language, we name colors, shapes, animals, people, etc all day long. He has game called ‘Pow’ (i’ll cover this in more depth in a video someday) that has really helped him. I encourage mimicking of my actions and words and he picks up on that really well. I praise him when he tries new words and sounds. And I pray. A lot.

How did you go about get H screened? It started with our pediatrician. We scheduled an appointment with him to talk about our concerns about H’s speaking – or lack there of. He referred us to a local company that screens kids under three for developmental delays. They came to our home and did the screening and decided he could benefit from speech therapy. If you are wanting to get your child screened – talk to your pediatrician!

Whats your main piece of advice for parents of a child with a speech delay? Be patient. Your little one is going to figure this out, but its a lot and isn’t going to change overnight. Be patient and encouraging – trust the process.

Did H being a binky baby have anything to do with this delay? According to our Speech Pathologist, no. So I also say no. Think of all the kids who took binks when they were younger and speak just fine…

Is H frustrated he isn’t speaking at the same rate as kids his age? I’ve never been able to recognize that he is frustrated. He may not speak great yet, but he communicates really well so I don’t think he’s ever really felt like he’s not being understood. However I do know that some kids do get very frustrated when no one can understand their own little language and their body language (because our speech pathologist told me).

Like I said, if you have any more questions let me know! But thats the scoop as of now. H is awesome. He’s doing so well and has come so far!

Theres nothing this little guy can’t do.