FOUR!

Wow, what? Today Harrison turns FOUR! Four? Thats a big number. He’s been pretty sure for the last few weeks that when he wakes up when he’s four he’s going to be tall enough to reach the ceiling – I hope he isn’t too disappointed if the giant growth spurt he’s been wishing for doesn’t come true. Harrison is my rule follower and my do-gooder and sometimes his personality and behavior reminds me so much of myself that it freaks me out a little. He is very, very smart, happy, helpful and very funny. He is shy, friendly and a hard worker who loves discovering new things and letting curiosity guide his day. He has an imagination that blows us all out of the water and is so entertaining to watch play. He’s currently Hot Wheels and Avengers obsessed, and all he’s asked for, for his birthday is “lots of hot wheels tracks” and I’m happy to say thats a birthday wish that I can guarantee will come true. Happy Birthday, Harrison! I love you to infinity and beyond!

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The Big TWO Year Old!

I blinked and my little baby boy who came into this world with a bunch of energy and craziness and hasn’t slowed down since, is TWO! I don’t know why I still feel so surprised by this, but Emmett is such a little individual and is almost nothing like his big brother. Emmett is independent and does things his own way in his own time. He is a good, happy boy and he loves being with his family. He loves Mickey Mouse, pretty much all Disney characters really, Hot Wheels, Avengers, dinosaurs and playing with Harrison. He has these big beautiful blue eyes and the cutest, cheesiest smile that instantly melts me into a puddle. He speaks really well, is very smart and curious and is an absolute joy to be around. I feel insanely lucky to be this wonderful boys mama and I am so grateful for him and the person he is and the happiness he brings to our family.

Happy Birthday, Emmett buddy!! I love you to infinity and beyond!!

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Happy Birthday, Mom!

Its simple, I couldn’t have picked a better mom if I tried. My mom is the best of the best. She is all things good, kind and helpful. She’s the definition of selfless. She’s the worlds best, most attentive Grammy. She is girl-mom extraordinaire. She is a friend to everyone. She makes people feel good about themselves. She is incredibly creative and can make something adorable from nothing. She is hilarious. She is helpful. She is smart. She is a Disney-genius and exudes Disney magic. She keeps a nice home. She loves her family. She is absolutely wonderful.

Happy Birthday, mom! I sure love you! We all do!

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Putting It Down

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A few weeks ago I went to bed with crippling mom guilt. The kind that made me want to go take my boys out of bed so I could apologize profusely to them and give them my 100% undivided attention. I wanted to watch their every single move and spend all of my time complimenting their curiosity, their brains, their friendship, their quirks, their looks – I wanted to study every piece and aspect of them and I wanted to let them know very clearly just how much I love them and cherish being their mom.

That day I’d spent a stupid amount of time on my phone. Instead of getting down on the floor and playing Avengers with my boys, I sat on the couch and wasted time scrolling instagram, reading blogs, watching YouTube and researching new Podcasts. That particular day I even caught myself spending more time on my phone while we had lunch ‘together’ than actually socializing with these wonderful little boys I had sitting beside me.

As I laid in my bed, I literally cried myself to sleep. I’d let them down, horribly. They deserved me and my attention and I didn’t give that to them. This day was a particularly bad one for me – I’m never usually that distracted by my phone, but it made me realize I definitely spend more time on my phone than necessary. I thought about all the memories I’d missed because I was staring at a screen. I thought about the little conversations I could have listened to while my boys played together that I missed because I was listening to Instagram stories all day. I thought about the way my boys must have felt as I was so distant. I made the goal then and there that I needed to be way more aware of my time spent on my phone.

For the last few weeks I’ve been hyper-aware of where my phone is and what I’m doing with it. I’ve been training myself that its ok to leave it in a room I’m not in and not touch it for a few hours. I’ve reinforced the rule that cell phones do not belong at the kitchen table. If I was on my phone and one of my kids spoke to me, I consciously put it down and pushed it away from me – giving my sons my full attention. I somehow convinced myself I didn’t need to watch everyones stories and I didn’t need to scroll through Instagram every several minutes to see if anything had changed. I rededicated myself to my sweet boys and my husband. I still check my phone. I give myself those mom-time-outs/me-time here and there throughout the day, but I don’t let social media own me anymore, like I did a few weeks ago. I keep myself busy playing with my boys, being productive in the house or working on a craft or project. I try to actively be aware of my phone – no matter how near or far it is from me and I’m trying really hard to resist the temptation to pick it up just to scroll and waste time. I’m trying to touch it way, way less.

The phrase that has really helped me turn my mindset around is this:

Is anything on my phone more important than my boys? Nope. Not at all. So it can wait. 

Its changed me in all of the best ways. I feel so much better about myself as a mom after making this change. I go to bed more fulfilled and proud of how I spent my day. I feel as if my boys have noticed the change too, and are fully aware of how much their mom loves and values them. I really hope they know that they are far, far more important to me than my dumb phone ever could be.

I’ll still take part in social media. In a lot of ways, social media is good for me. I’ll still have days I post a lot on my stories, and I’ll certainly continue listening to podcasts frequently, but I’m not going to let it own me. I’m not going to let social media steal precious moments from me that I could be spending with my kids.

General Conference Weekend

First of all, if you don’t know what General Conference is, you can learn more here. I’m a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and last weekend we had our semi-annual General Conference where our church leaders speak to us. Its such a special weekend filled with so much good. I love the opportunity to set new goals for myself, receive guidance and feel the sprit. I felt so uplifted and empowered afterwards.

We spent the final session at Craig’s parents cabin, which the boys were super fond of and we managed to snap a few pictures there.

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Brothers

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I want 1,000 kids, but in the meantime, I am so glad that I have these two and that they have each other. In the last few weeks something about their relationship has changed. Its matured. They play with each other, not next to each other, but with each other. They beg one another to play and on the rare occasion that they’re without each other, they’re so eager to be reunited. Their friendship is strong and powerful. They’ve got each others backs and they stick up for one another. They also fight like, well, brothers. They aren’t afraid to get even and throw a punch – or toys, *eye roll*. They drive each other crazy but they’re also the very, very best of friends. Watching this all come to be has been probably one of the most fulfilling things I’ve seen as their mother.

I remember when Emmett was born and Harrison coming into the hospital, meeting his little brother for the first time. At one point, I was holding both of my sons. The room was full of people and pictures were being taken, but I remember kind of zoning out and just focussing on these two really closely for a few minutes. I had this ongoing prayer in my mind and I just remember pleading, “please be friends forever, please be close, please be friends forever, please be close…” Those prayers have absolutely started coming true. Its magical.

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These boys are wonderful. Their bond is beautiful and I’m just so happy that I get to see them together every day. They are my pride and joy and they’re the cutest, most loyal little guys, ever.

Happy OCTOBER

Its here! October is finally here and I hope you’re all so happy and healthy and know how wonderful you are (october makes me sentimental and uplifting, apparently).

First and foremost, October is bringing my favorite trip to Disneyland of every year. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it 10,000 more times, Halloween time in Disneyland is what dreams are made of and a whole new kind of magic that everyone needs to experience at some point in their lives. Promise. Oh, I can’t wait to get there and watch all the magic through my boys eyes – nothing beats it. All my fellow parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles/etc will get exactly what I’m saying.

Truly, I’m not sure what else October will bring my family. It will certainly bring about a lot of fall scented candles, pumpkin patches, sweaters, socks, celebrating my moms birthday, hot chocolate and spoopy movies (spoopy, to me, means Halloween stuff thats cute and fun, not freaky. not spooky). It should also include more puppy training – Coco is doing pretty good, but absolutely has room for improvement, keeping on top of my housework, hopefully a temple visit or two with Craig, going on walks with my boys walking on crunchy leaves, keeping up on my exercise and drinking more water and focusing more on my mental health.

Happy October, everyone! I hope its a good one for you, for me, for all of us. We all deserve it.