What I Hope We Remember from Summer 2019

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Dear Boys,

2019 has held my very favorite summer that I can remember, and I have you to thank for that. The season started off really rough for me. I was in a sad, frustrating, emotional spot and originally I believed my summer and maybe even the rest of the year would be stained with sadness. I wasn’t feeling motivated to be all that fun and push us to have an exciting summer. But as you two always do, you encouraged me with your adorable little voices, consistent begging and precious faces to at least try. So at the beginning of the summer I decided to go forward with the attitude of ‘fake it til you make it’ to have a fun summer with you guys. In no time, after several fun outdoor playdates, pool visits, splash pad adventures, evening walks, porch sits and so much more, we were having the best summer ever and I’d completely forgotten about the crumby beginnings of the season. Again, I have you two to thank for that.

Once the ball got rolling, I decided to dedicate the summer to you two. We didn’t have vacations planned or anything big and exciting in the warmest months of the year. So I let you guys call the shots and that was the best thing I could have done. We had a blast spending time together, the three of us, and times got even better when dad could join after work.

You two are so young still, so I don’t know what, if anything, you’ll remember, but I hope I can at least remind you often of what a great time it was. I hope we remember all the swimming in Grammy and Pops pool that happened – how Emmett gained so much confidence in the water, floating in his puddle jumper by himself and figuring out its not the worst thing ever to get water in your face, or how Harrison really started to get a grasp on swimming by yourself, pushing yourself and feeling brave in the water.

I hope you remember the trips to the farm, the zoo, the Museum of Curiosity and the Dinosaur Museum. You two were filled with wonder, excitement and lots and lots of enthusiastic pointing and squealing. You learned so much, you explored it all and you never wanted to leave. “I want to stay here forever!” – Harrison after leaving most places.

Then there were all the visits to the Splash Pad. I know we have access to our own private pool, but sometimes the Splash Pad was what you guys desired. Emmett hated it the first time. The cold water touching him upset him and he was happiest to sit on the blanket with mom, but by two or three times in, he was just as happy as Harrison to get in the water, to get splashed and soaked. Harrison made friends at the Splash Pad, he shared, he returned lost toys, he helped kids who fell down, he covered every inch of that place.

I hope as you two grow up, you always think back fondly to our family walks. We’ve done this since before either of you were born, but they just keep getting better now that we are adding kids to our evening walks. Our walks involve playful conversation, big decisions, lots of “I Spy,” animal watching and people watching, and so, so many questions from you two. Our walks are something I look forward to the very most with you little boys.

Lastly, I hope we remember the times in our very own yard. There were countless hours spent on the porch on the rocking bench, talking, watching birds fly by and chatting. There were hours in the front yard playing fetch with Penny, racing, playing Avengers and dinosaurs and riding our bikes and scooters. In the backyard, we had our tiny kiddie pool, sprinklers to run through and the large cement pad where thousands of chalk drawings were made.

There were so many wonderful, simple, perfect memories made this summer. I’m so happy for that time. I’m so happy that you two turned my whole attitude around. You two are wonderful and magical.

I love you to infinity and beyond,

Mom

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Must Be Doing Something Right

If you weren’t already aware, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints. I can’t tell you just how many times a week I wonder if I’m doing enough to teach my sons about the gospel, especially about Jesus Christ. I try to incorporate gospel lessons, discussions about Christ, reminders about things we’ve learned in our family scripture study and Come Follow Me study into our daily lives, and I make sure we have pictures of Christ, temples, etc up in our home, but I still feel like I’m failing them a bit. (Have I mentioned that mom guilt is the WORST?)

Over the past week I have been re-doing our living room – new paint, new color scheme, new decor, etc. As I was laying out our pictures and frames on the floor, trying to visualize where I wanted to hang them, Emmett walked over to the picture we have of Jesus. He got down on his hands and knees and got real close to the picture (like so close he kneeled on it) and just stared at Christ. I watched in silence as he pointed at Christ’s facial features and then, in an incredibly adorable act, leaned down and kissed the picture. Then he turned to me and exclaimed, “Jesus!” He said it in the same tone he chants “dad!” when Craig gets home from work.

I could tell that even at his young age, we have at least taught him that Jesus is his friend, that Jesus loves him and there is joy through Him and I could see in Emmett’s actions and the look of pure elation on his face that he really knew that.

I guess I must be doing something right, after all!

E’s Ears

I’m not sure if you know this or not, but my sweet baby E has had a rough go when it comes to his little ears. In his fourteen months of life, he has had twelve ear infections, most of those happening since August/September-ish, and most of them being double ear infections. We also found our pretty recently that for a while now, both of his ear drums have been ruptured. Isn’t that awful? You’d be floored to hear this if you know him or have seen him recently though, because he’s just so happy still. But it definitely now makes sense why when he was ticked, he was ticked. The pain tolerance his little body has is absolutely incredible. During a recent discussion with E’s ENT (ear nose and throat doctor), he told me that the pain he must have been feeling was so excruciating it would send a grown man to the Emergency Room. That shattered my mom heart. I had no idea. I mean, I knew it hurt, but I had no idea it hurt that badly.

We finally got him into the ENT a little while ago where they told us E needed tubes (no shock – thats why we were there). Thats also where we learned about the double rupture. Poor baby. So earlier last week, he finally got his tubes put in, along with a small exploratory surgery just to check out his ears and make sure there isn’t anything else to be concerned with. Good news, everything looks great. I’m so grateful for modern medicine and for doctors. I’m especially for doctors who make your children feel special. I was so impressed with all the doctors and nurses we talked to on E’s day of surgery. They all got down on his level and talked to him – something that social little boy really loved. It made me feel even more comfortable and confident.

Recovery has been pretty good, all things considered. The first few days involved a lot of blood and a lot of ooze, but thats all stopped now. He hates the ear drops we have to put in multiple times a day with a passion, but those are almost over with. We are so excited for a pain-free baby who hopefully hopefully hopefully won’t have to deal with anymore painful infections anymore.

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What I Hope My Kids Learn from Disney

Dear Kids,

You come from a family of Disney obsessed people. Your great grandpa started this journey, passed it to Grammy, she passed it to her kids (one of those is me) and now I’m doing my part to make sure you guys all have a special place in your heart for Disney and all its magic and wonder. I don’t know how the Disney-love will translate in your own lives as you grow up. I don’t know if you’ll find yourself saving your money to take another trip to the park or if you’ll be to every Disney movie on opening day, if you’ll have Disney decor throughout your home or if you’ll be more of a quiet and reserved fan. I’m aware of the possibility that you may not all be as Disney-crazed as some of the rest of this family, but as I said before, I just hope there is always a special spot inside of you that respects Disney and is able to identify the magic it brings into our lives.

Because Disney magic is raising you. You’re being built by Disney Magic. When I think of all the ways I want you to grow up and all the ways I want to be a good mom to you all, I find myself thinking of things I’ve learned from Disney. As silly as it sounds, its 1000% true.

Disney can teach you to dream. Disney can give you hope. Disney can remind you that there is good in the world and that most people are good. Disney can help you find joy. It can help you cope when you’re sad. It can teach you lifelong lessons and it can implant song lyrics into your mind that you’ll never forget. It can be a source of happiness. It can be a safe place you run to, to get away from reality. Disney can be a refuge. It can help you feel carefree when you are feeling weighted down. It can create magic in a regular day and a regular moment. Disney can help you embrace who you are and the unique, special individual you’re meant to be. Disney can help you change your point of view and look on the bright side. You’ll find things and characters you relate to. You’ll have moments in Disney Parks you reflect on for years and years.

Disney is a part of your childhood, I pray you always think of that with a smile on your face and are thankful for your Disney roots.

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Love, mom

Sleep Saga part 3

I’ve had a surprising amount of people asking me to follow up on how sleep training with E has been going, so rather than a bunch of individual answers I’ll try to answer the couple questions I’ve been asked here.

Does E still sleep through the night? He is!! Its been a few weeks now so I feel pretty confident in saying he’s a good sleeper now. I finally have two kids that sleep all night! Every few days (maybe 1-2x a week) E will wake up in the middle of the night, but its never for long. Sometimes I don’t even get up to go into his room because he puts himself back to sleep so quickly. If he does cry for a while I’ll go in his room and either lay him back down and pat his back for a little bit, or… (see next question)

Do you still breastfeed at night? Sometimes I nurse. It depends on how long he’s cried in the middle of the night and how much pain I’m in (you nursing mamas get me). I probably only nurse in the night like once a week. But I’m seeing that night feeding being completely done with here very, very soon.

Have you changed anything? Nope! Our routine is the same as it was when we started, except sometimes we skip the nighttime bath.

Is he dependent on the sound machine now? I don’t think he is. A few nights ago I forgot to turn it on and he fell asleep and stayed asleep just fine. However, I do think its comforting and soothing to him so I don’t plan on stopping use of it any time soon. I love it.

Do you use any kind of baby monitor? We don’t use a video monitor or one of the monitors that listens for him, but we do use an Owlet which I am 1000% in love with. You know I’m a chronic worrier – this eases so much worry and allows me to sleep better in my own bed, knowing his breathing and heart rate are being carefully monitored.

How are you sleeping now? Pretty good! It took me about two weeks to get used to all this new, wonderful sleep, but now I am sleeping really well and let me tell you, a full night of sleep is heaven! I had forgot how refreshing and beautiful good sleep is!! I’ve also been having the craziest, weird dreams since getting so much sleep which keeps me very entertained.

If you want to read part 1 and 2 of this saga, click here and here.

 

Celebrating One Year!

On Saturday, as you know, my little E turned ONE. Am I still a little bit in denial? Yes. Yes, very much so. We had such a fun, simple day celebrating his big day. We spent the day at home (his favorite place), playing with toys, eating food and just having a pretty typical day. Wild Man and I set the house up for his birthday party that would be happening later that evening. We got the food ready, my friend delivered the amazing Mickey Mouse cake she made for him and the party began. We had a Mickey Mouse Hot-Diggity-Dog party and it was so much fun! Poor E is in the thick of teething currently, so his mood was up and down throughout the night, but it seemed like whenever the attention was on him (for gifts, cake, singing, etc) he was happy as could be – or just very puzzled at what was going on.

My little E is a special, loved little boy. I’m so grateful for him and I’m honored and proud to be his mom.

E’s Birth Story

*E turned one yesterday, so I figured I better finally share his birth story!

On November 10th, 2017 I woke up to find my baby was sideways in my belly. This wasn’t abnormal though. He hardly ever was head down like he should have been and was changing positions almost daily, even though he was big and we were super close to his due date. We referred to him as a ninja a lot. Wild Man predicted he’d be stubborn. I texted Wild Man and told him the baby was definitely sideways. I could feel his head on my right side and his bum on my left. He responded by telling me not to worry yet, “not like the baby is going to come today.

Later that day we were invited to eat dinner at Craig’s parents house with his parents and brother. We went over around 6 and sat down to eat around 6:30. We hadn’t been sitting down for five minutes when all the sudden, I kid you not, the lights flickered and all the sudden I felt a strange, very wet sensation take over the lower half of me. I looked up (and locked in eye contact with my brother-in-law haha) and said, “I think my water just broke!” Except I’m not sure why I said ‘I think’, because there was no denying that was what this was. Baby time. We left H at my in-laws (ugh, I hate leaving my babies) and went to our house to grab our hospital bags and I changed my clothes.

When we got to the hospital they did that test to make sure your water really broke (it did) and I was admitted. My nurse checked me and said, “you’re dilated, but I don’t feel a head,” to which I told her he was definitely sideways. By this time my contractions were coming on top of each other. Ouch. They called for an ultrasound to check my babies positioning. Sure enough, he was sideways. Then my doctor came in to look at the ultrasound and he briefly considered moving him in my stomach (he’d done this a couple weeks earlier and it HURT), but decided that with the positioning of the umbilical cord, it wasn’t safe. I remember him checking me and saying he could see my babies bottom. He looked up at us and said, “I think the safest option is a c-section.” Without hesitation we agreed to it. Whatever is best for baby, you know?

Since E was essentially on his way out bum first, we were deemed an emergency c-section and immediately people were preparing for surgery. I was taken quickly into the OR where I got all prepped and got my spinal tap (which was amazing! haha). I was a little nervous, ok, very nervous, but getting relief from pain definitely helped me relax. Then we were ready to have this baby!

Everything was routine until the very end. My doctors told me later they almost never see this, but as they were removing E, his body was outside of me and his little head got caught in a contraction basically. By this time they’d brought a mirror to me to watch him be born, and I just remember being so happy to see him, but I was also scared. Why was my baby stuck? Also his body was gray. It was a lot of emotions.

Finally, he was freed! But he was gray and not making a sound. As quickly as I could lay eyes on him, he was gone to another room. They took him and my husband and left me alone in the operating room with a team of doctors. I hated it. Oh, I hated it. I wanted to see my baby! But most of all, I knew he was in the room next door and I wanted to hear him cry. I needed to know he was ok. My doctors were trying to keep my mind off of it, I could tell. I kind of remember them telling me I lost a little more blood than usual but I’d be fine. I don’t remember anything else they said. I was just listening for my baby, sad I hadn’t touched him yet.

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It felt like forever, but finally from the room next door where he was being worked on by a NICU team, I heard him scream. And scream. And scream. Hallelujah! I was still being stitched up when Wild Man came in holding our little 8.5 pound bundle. He laid him on my chest/neck and E nestled his little face into my cheek. I could hear his little snorts and grunts right in my ear. Though I couldn’t really see him, I was so happy to have him with me. Touching me. Right where he needed to be. We snuggled there for a while and then they took him and Wild Man to the nursery to do all the little tests and what not, I remember they said they’d do extra tests on his lungs and breathing, since he wasn’t breathing at birth (all came back fine – he’s been totally fine and healthy since!) and I was still getting put back together. I was sad I couldn’t go to the nursery with them, because with H, I was able to.

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Once I was all finished, I was wheeled back to the delivery room, handed my phone and given some water. Then I just sat there. No baby to hold. It was a crappy feeling, but I was happy to know he was ok. Now I just wanted to hold him! I was so shaky and a little dizzy, but I started texting my mom since I had no baby to love on yet.

Finally, about 2 hours after having him, Wild Man and E came into our room and I got to hold that sweet, sweet boy. Its been heaven ever since. He immediately nursed like a champ, he was go-with-the-flow and happy, but made hilarious grumpy faces. He fit perfectly into our family and has given us so much joy and happiness since.

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