August 2020

August has never really been a month I loved, and to be honest, this year was no different. Like its great. Theres good things about it and good things have happened in it, but for whatever reason, its just not my favorite month. Its so freaking hot and thats not my jam. Its also so close to fall, which is absolutely my jam. So its just this weird in-between month that I don’t adore, but I don’t hate it either. I don’t know. Either way, I’m super excited for September. September never lets me down.

GOOD

  • Flora turned two months old, so she was finally able to be vaccinated! Thats always a sigh of relief for me. Another added protection for my little bundle of joy. It makes this mama happy.
  • We went boating with some of Craig’s family members and it was so nice. All 3 kids were awesome, the weather was beautiful. Being on the water is so refreshing for me.
  • This is stuff I can talk more on later, but some things have been developing in our family that have caused Craig and I to have these really deep conversations, pretty often. It was exciting and it made me feel so much more bonded to him. I love having this guy by my side in life. He makes things so great.
  • We started school this month. Home school. My brain has been all over the place with this decision. I still have some guilt eating me up because I feel like homeschool is going to deprive my boys from social interaction that they really adore. But overall, I feel good about this and I know that for us, its the right decision. Also, kudos to all the parents making these same hard decisions!
  • Speaking of school, Harrison also started Waterford Upstart, an online preschool. He’s loving it and doing really well in it. Its calming to know that if I totally blow it with homeschool, he’s still taken care of because of Upstart.
  • We have re-started potty training with Emmett. I don’t know if this is good or bad. It should be under a separate header called HARD. He’s motivated, but also at the same time, totally not. I don’t want to pressure him to do it if he isn’t ready (learned that the hard way with Harrison), but I also want to keep motivating him! Its tough.
  • I opened my home spa back up! Again, something I was really torn on. BUT its been so, so good to see my old friends/clients again! I’ve missed them.
  • Flora has started smiling, everyone! Best part of August.
  • We took a free day and went to Golden Spike, the Rocket Garden and Hill Aerospace Museum with my mom and one of my sisters. It was loads of fun. It was also very hot and exhausting, but it was so good. I want to take my kids on more outings like this.

NOT-SO-GOOD

  • We got suuuuper close to being in a wreck. Like within inches. It freaked me out. If we would have been hit, it would have all happened right on Emmett and Flora’s side of the car. My mind has traveled to so many scary places because of this dozens of times this month. I’m so grateful we were protected that day. But geez it scared the crap out of me.
  • I got so behind on housework in August. Why? I have no idea. Probably because we were too busy trying to have fun and do exciting things, but still. I should have made more time to take care of my home. I guess there’s a goal for September, huh?
  • I accidentally cut a chunk of my hair off. Luckily it was in the front and I’ve been able to make it mostly look like I’m just growing bangs out or something, but I was still thoroughly ticked about it. I watched my hair fall to the floor and burst into tears. I was cutting a string off of the collar of my shirt and my hair fell forward at the perfect (but not perfect at all) time.
  • My mental health is…well, not what it usually is. Sure, I’m 2.5 months postpartum, but its just messing me up. Like, I’m fine. But my brain is working overtime to keep things level and ‘ok’. Its hard. My anxiety is picking up, I can feel it. I’m starting to get my worried headaches and am getting sleepy and stomach aches are reoccurring – all tell tale signs for me.

HOME

  • My home is messy and chaos, but you know what? Its happy. I love my home, but mostly the people inside of it. My family makes things beautiful, no matter where we are.

June 2020

I’m going to go ahead and bet that June will be the best month of all of 2020 for our family. I mean, how do you top the birth of a new, precious baby!? Especially when she’s as perfect, sweet and squishy as Flora! I think between starting the month being very pregnant, tired and just done with pregnancy and then spending the rest of June with a newborn, it’s all felt a little but like a blur. A sleepy, wonderful, magical blur.

GOOD

  • Flora, obviously. You guys, she is perfect. She is beautiful and makes the most adorable squeaky sounds constantly. She loves staring at her brothers and listening to people talk. She is a generally easy baby who sleeps pretty decently and nurses like a champion. She fits into our family seamlessly and honestly I am just so grateful I get to be her mom and that she’s a happy, healthy little girl.
  • I have 3 kids. THREE! That sunk in about a week after having Flora and I’m beaming! All I’ve ever wanted to do is have kids, so being able to grow my family and have another baby be born is just making me feel all the happy feels.
  • Craig had a birthday and Fathers Day! That guy deserves to be celebrated far more than just those two days, but I’m glad that we had those days to celebrate him – even if they were very low key and probably a little boring because we are living the newborn life.
  • I’m still being careful and cautious with social distancing and such, but before Flora was born and a few times afterwards we have been able to spend some time with family and that just feels really good. Especially because coronavirus cases keep on rising so I feel like I may need fo make the decision to be extra careful with my family again.
  • I keep thinking about my doctors and nurses. I’m so thankful for those people and what they do so selflessly for people. For what they did for me. There was one point, ahem, the first time I used the restroom after delivering my baby, that the nurse was helping clean me up, etc, and I just couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for her and what she was doing. Those are good, good people.
  • Harrison started soccer this month and oh my heck, it’s the cutest. He is the happiest little athlete I’ve ever seen. The smile never leaves his face while he plays and he is just so dang happy to be on the field. I love his enthusiasm.

NOT-SO-GOOD

  • For about a week and a half after Flora was born, Harrison and Emmett had a rough time. Not with her, not at all (they super aggressively adore her), but with… everything else? It was really hard. They were easily upset, extra emotional and pretty much never listened and would do a lot of things that otherwise, they knew were naughty. I expected some kind of reaction from them – I mean, they’re 4 and 2 and getting a new little sister is a major life change! It just was harder to navigate than I assumed it would be. But we made it through and I’m proud of us!
  • I didn’t get my epidural in time to deliver my baby. So I had an unmedicated birth. I’ll just leave that there.
  • Having a baby during a pandemic and navigating the extra precautions for germs, social distancing, etc. is rough. Its been a little complicated figuring out how to let family meet the baby without feeling like I’m exposing her to things. Theres a lot of feeling pulled to different sides, but Craig and I are doing our very best to listen to our guts and ultimately do what we believe is best, no matter what people say. That isn’t always easy, but we’re getting better at it. I think.

HOME

Newborns bring the most precious spirit into your home. I swear there are extra angels, extra love and extra spirit in your home when a tiny one is there, and I’m trying to be mindful of soaking it all in because I know this time passes fast. As sleepy as we feel and as tricky as it can be to get used to new schedules and a new life, its just magical. We slacked a little with doing Come Follow Me this month, and I kind of feel like thats justified because – you know – newborn. But we still managed to learn new Book of Mormon stories and did our best not to miss family prayer and opportunities to talk about the gospel.

May 2020

Good

  • Harrison had his adorable little preschool graduation this month and he felt like a star, which made my mom-heart nearly burst into a thousand pieces. It was the cutest. We drove by his preschool while music played and his teachers cheered for him and gave him a gift bag and a balloon. He was on cloud 9 and you could see pride just beaming from him. It was a really awesome experience.
  • My sister also graduated from High School! Best. Graduation. Ever. Can we just start always having drive-by graduations? It was still totally special and personal, but without the uncomfortable chairs, long speeches and the hardship of trying to keep your kids quiet.
  • I’ve been on a nesting spree and I’m all about it. I’m actually a little sad when I realize that after I have baby and I’m healing from my c-section I won’t be able to do all this upkeep on my house that I’ve been so, so obsessed with lately.
  • I’m due next month. Next month! Thats like…soon. I cannot wait. Everything is ready for her. Now we are just waiting for her!!
  • The boys are kind of figuring out bedtime, finally. I mean, its still a pain in the butt getting them to bed and keeping them in bed, but stuff is slowly catching on, especially with Harrison. I’m excited about it and proud of them for trying so hard! They have no idea how much I appreciate it.
  • I love home church. It looks like our church will be starting up again soon, and honestly there is part of me thats bummed out about it. I love doing church from home and I truly feel like my own testimony has grown, as well as the testimony in my little boys. Its exciting and really humbling and beautiful. I actually don’t think my family will be going back to church for a while with me being at the tail end of pregnancy and then we’ll have a newborn. So I believe home church will continue for us for a little bit, but to know its kind of coming to an end does make me a little sad, oddly.
  • I’ve planted my garden flowers and I kid you not, each and every time I see them, I smile. I love flowers so, so, so much. I’m proud of them. They become like children to me and they just bring me so much joy.

Not-So-Good

  • I’ve started having contractions that hurt. Like bad. Especially at night time. So this could totally be on my ‘good’ list too, because that means we are getting closer and closer to baby time, but I’m a big baby when it comes to pain, so its making the not-so-good list currently.
  • My heartburn had kind of slowed down, but its back with a vengeance. Enough said.
  • I feel like postpartum anxiety is already starting in me. Uh oh. I mean, I’m not surprised though. I’m very grateful that Craig is so supportive of me and in tune with my mental state. He helps me in every way possible and helps me feel validated and not like a psycho woman. I’m trying to be patient and kind with myself. I’m trying to remember that having anxiety doesn’t make me any less of a mother. I’m also clinging to the calm that Craig brings me when it comes to all this. I’m thankful for my family that respects me, especially around baby time – its so appreciated!

Home

  • Mostly, ‘Home’ has been used this month with just lots and lots of cleaning, sanitizing and organizing. A happier mom lives in this house when its orderly and clean. That also helps the spirit live here more abundantly, so its a win-win.
  • We have also been doing pretty well with our daily Come Follow Me study together as a family. I feel like I say it all the time, but I have loved seeing the Book of Mormon stories come to life in my boys minds. I love the questions they ask and the lessons they take away from what we talk about. I love hearing them talk about how the stories we’ve learned can apply to our daily lives. Its special and spiritual and has created such a wonderful feeling in our home.

April 2020

Another month has come and gone. Another month in quarantine. Another month closer to meeting Baby Sister. Another month getting closer to warmer weather, pool time and things going back to whatever our new ‘normal’ will be. Truly, though social distancing has been tough because we miss family, it has not been bad. I’ve actually enjoyed it! I’ve been feeling the pull to get closer to my kids and this has been the perfect opportunity to do so. I’ve wanted to get a lot of house stuff done before the baby comes, and this has given me the perfect opportunity to do so. Its been pretty fun to be ‘stuck’ together as a family for a while, because I know this is not something that happens very often – if at all – in a persons lifetime, so we are choosing to make the best of it!

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GOOD

  • April brought a lot of nice weather, so we spent a lot of time outside and it was so refreshing and reviving. We are lucky to live pretty close to some pretty areas to explore and play at and we have taken advantage of those locations so much this past month and don’t plan on stopping that any time soon.
  • Nesting has hit me in full force and I am loving it. There is nothing quite as satisfying as getting things clean, organized and ready for baby time. I go to bed feeling so accomplished. It just feels good to be doing this much around the house. But on that note, I’m also really happy with myself for not being hard on myself on the days that absolutely nothing productive at all happens.
  • Craig has taken on the big job of completely re-doing our backyard. We were realizing it wasn’t as functional for us as it could be, and last year somehow the dogs made it pretty — not cool, so he decided to start it over and give it a face lift – a much needed one. Its going to be so nice when its all finished and I am foreseeing many, many hours spent out there this Summer. I can’t wait! (Also, thank you, Craig)
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  • We had a really nice Easter. It was totally weird not to go spend it with family and take part in tons of egg hunts, etc, like we are used to, but we made it our own special little day and I really loved it. The night before we tried to really drive it into the boys head that we celebrate Easter to commemorate the fact that Christ has made it possible for us to be resurrected and live with our families forever and they more or less understood. Easter morning we let it be all about candy, eggs and Easter baskets, then we tried our best to bring it back to the true meaning. No matter how it was received, it was a nice, peaceful day.
  • The boys finally accepted that when dad works from home they can’t bug him every 5 seconds, which has made my job of corralling them a lot easier.
  • We have gone on several nice car rides during the day and its been good for us. Sometimes we stop at Sodalicious and get a drink and cookie first, then we just drive. Its a change of scenery, while still staying distanced from people and its given us these nice opportunities to really talk with one another.
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NOT-SO-GOOD

  • We had about four days where between the two boys, there was some kind of tummy bug going around. It was messy and sad and I did so much laundry, but we are thankful it didn’t last too long and that they’re totally back to themselves, now.
  • I hurt. I mean, no surprise because I’m 7 months pregnant, but I’m still saying it. I hurt. I waddle big time. My hips, back, pelvis and upper thighs ache constantly and my belly is uncomfortable and feels so heavy. I’m trying to view this as further reassurance that I’m just getting closer and closer to my due date. Positive thinking, right?
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  • A lot more brother-fights have broken out in April. I mean, I can’t blame the boys, but its still not my favorite thing in the world. Their fights are actually pretty comical. I’ve started letting them duke it out when they need to. Sometimes they don’t need mom to intervene, they just need to whack each other a few times to feel satisfied. But then sometimes they start going for each others eyes or getting just a little too into it and I decide to step in. Its a balance I feel like I’m getting better at. Its usually around these physical fight times I see that its time to do something new. So we put toys away and do some other kind of busy activity.
  • I’ve missed a few days of preschool since ‘Spring Break’ and I feel kind of guilty about it because Harrison loves preschool. But I’m not worrying about it too much.

HOME

  • I had no idea at the end of 2019 when I made my word ‘Home‘ for 2020 that I would be spending time in home like I never have before. Isn’t it funny how things work out like that? Its really assisted me in reaching these goals I’ve set for myself and my home though, so thats nice. We have been so good at doing Come Follow Me frequently which has brought a nice spirit into our home. I have been good at making sure the home is clean and happy and having people in the family help make it feel that way. Its just a nice little system thats helping our spirits stay lifted during this funny time.
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February 2020

Ok, so February was good. I was very pleased with how it turned out. I had a good mix of relaxing days and super productive days. We got so much done around our house as a family. We had several activities that made some great lasting memories. I grew bigger and sorer (#pregnancyfun) and we did way good doing our family Come Follow Me. I’m not sure what I’m expecting from March. I’m just hoping for another simple, nice, productive but also lazy month.

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Good

  • Honestly, the response I got on my post about some of my FAQ about taking your little ones to Disneyland was amazing. I wish I could share all the text messages I received, DM’s I got, etc and share them so you could all see why I’m so elated by the response. I’m glad I was able to help people and I promise that I’ll work on more in-depth posts about each of the topics I briefly hit on in that post.
  • I hit halfway pregnant in February and that always feels like a monumental milestone in pregnancy. It feels good and I’m just proud of my body and what its doing.
  • Also, I had the big ultrasound with baby sister this month and I’m feeling very grateful to say that everything is looking great with her. The ultrasound tech even told me at one point, “this is the kind of baby I want medical students to see, because this is exactly what you’re looking for in a healthy baby.” I mean, is there a greater compliment to receive while you’re pregnant?
  • I made an attempt this month to be more involved with my kids. They’re really good at playing with each other or playing by themselves, so its easy for me to let them do their thing while I do my thing. But I wanted to get down on the floor and play with them more this month or gather them together at the table while we did an art project or played in sensory boxes. We were already BFF’s, but it totally made our bond stronger and I am grateful I did that and will continue to do that.
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  • We went to Jurassic Quest at the beginning of the month (a giant dinosaur convention that came to town) and my boys still talk about it all the time. It was lots of fun and something I’m sure we won’t forget anytime soon. I’m also thinking it’ll have to become a yearly activity for us as a family.
  • Two of Craig’s siblings (one with his wife and baby) have been living in California the last few years, and this month they all moved back to Utah! It hasn’t even been that long, but already we are having the greatest time having them close again! We missed them more than we even knew. Having them back is going to just be the greatest.
  • I’ve been able to watch my sister dance with her Drill Team a lot this month. She’s Head Captain and this is her senior year, so its been important to me to make an effort to watch her do what she loves. I enjoy it thoroughly every time.

Not-So-Good

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  • My pelvic pain, you guys. Wow. Its trumped the nausea, its trumped the heartburn and even my anxiety. It hurts so. bad. If I were to give you details on all the pain this would start getting too graphic and weird – so just take my word for it. It hurts down there. Always.
  • I’ve cut exercise. I just can’t do it anymore because it hurts so much it isn’t even worth it to me. I’m still being active with my kids and such, but I can’t do exercise videos, intentional workouts anymore. It makes me sad, but I evaluated myself and talked to my doctor and we both agreed my body will appreciate the break. I feel totally ok in my decision, but I’m still sad about it because I had a goal to stay in shape this whole pregnancy.
  • My kids wake up so early. Whyyyyyy?? What must I do to teach them the beauty of sleeping in?! I dream of the day I can peacefully sleep past 7am.

Home

This month we focused more literally on the word ‘home’. Craig and I completely de-junked our house. Like all of it! It feels so good. We got rid of SO much stuff! Like, when did we become hoarders? Its incredible how much stuff you somehow accumulate without even knowing it. We were both in a really great mindset the whole time we did this so we were great at getting rid of things that we never used, didn’t serve us, etc. I can’t stress enough just how great this all felt. My home has never felt so orderly, clean and peaceful. We also really started on baby sisters bedroom. We came up with a plan. We emptied out the room that will now be hers and got a lot of it prepped. I’m hoping that we are able to finish it up at least almost all the way in March! Exciting times!

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January 2020

How did January both creep by excruciatingly slow, but also zip by in the blink of an eye? Anyone else feel me? I’ll tell you this much, I’m happy to give January a little kiss on the cheek and send it on its way. Its been a fine month but it also hasn’t been my favorite. I feel like poor January never gets a lot of loving, likely because it follows the very best months (October, November and December) so I even tried to cherish it a little bit more this year, and while it was still very good, I’m excited to move on to February.

Good

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  • I faced some fears this month. I had to mindfully will myself to get there and say some things that I honestly had planned on keeping a secret inside myself for my entire life. But this month I just felt a really strong pull to say some of these things. It wasn’t easy and I still cringe a bit thinking about how it all went down, but now that its all said and done, I’m proud of myself for being brave and doing it. Sorry this bullet point is so vague, I just wanted the reminder that sometimes I am actually capable of being braver and more courageous than I feel.
  • Our family has been doing so good on our daily Come Follow Me (our churches – the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints curriculum this year – focusing on the Book of Mormon). We got into the swing of things fast, found a method that works really, really well for us and we have been doing awesome at it. Its amazing to see just how much the boys are retaining, too! It makes it all a lot more exciting and fulfilling. Its been fun to view The Book of Mormon, a book I’ve read several times, in such a different way too.
  • I’m not extra in most things, but when it comes to planners – I am. I have two planners (a bullet journal and a Leafy Treetops Planner) and I adore them both. They’ve brought me so much joy this month. I find I get my most fulfilling me-time when I’m working in them. They somehow are helping my anxiety and the overwhelm I feel so easily. I’m also liking my layouts a lot this year (so far) so they’re just making me feel really good and happy.
  • My boys are just angel humans. Their friendship has changed a lot this month with both of them getting older, and while its exhausting and sometimes a little violent (boys *eyeroll*) its one of the best things to witness.
  • I’ve finally got some energy back. I forgot just how sleepy pregnancy makes me. I’ve really missed the alone time Craig and I get after the boys go to bed, because typically I’ve just gone to bed right after putting the boys to bed because I’ve literally felt as if I couldn’t keep my eyes open a second longer. But this month I’ve been able to stay up later and not feel like its killing me. Craig and I have been having amazing conversations, watching shows or just doing nothing together, but it was time I really missed with him and I’m happy to have back.
  • We’ve gone to our local Rec Center several times this month to let the boys swim and get some energy out. Its always kind of a marathon getting there and leaving there, but its been worth it every single time.
  • The sicknesses we had in January were all, thankfully, short-lived and I am extremely grateful for that. Germs scare the heck out of me and I’ve tried so hard to minimize them in our house and I think (knock on wood) its paying off!
  • My youngest sister is nearing the end of her Senior year of high school, which means she’s also nearing the end of her Drill Team career. She’s Head Captain this year and its been a lot on her, but she handles it all with so much grace. Its been so fun to be able to sneak away either with the boys or by myself to watch her do what she’s always been so good at.
  • We found out this baby is a baby sister!! It was totally a shock to our systems at first and it’ll be so different from what we’ve grown so used to, but we are so, so, so excited to meet little sister! I can’t wait to see how she changes the dynamic of our family and I especially can’t wait to watch her big brothers relationship with her.

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Not-So-Good

  • Emmett had a broken foot and sprained ankle for a good portion of the month (it all happened on Christmas Eve when he jumped off our couch and landed bad). His boot he had to wear didn’t slow him down at all, but I just felt bad for him for so long. Feeling that kind of sadness for your kid wears on you after a while. It was a joyous day when we got to remove the boot!
  • I’m sure its the pregnancy – and maybe that it a girl? – but my emotions have been off the charts. I. cry. at. everything! If you’ve seen me anytime recently, I’m sure you can attest to it. If I’m not crying, I just look like I have been – and that’s because I have. Its not that I’m sad (I mean sometimes I am) but half the time I just cry because something is really beautiful or special or cute. Or there is absolutely no reason for me to cry and it just spills out. I’m tired of it, to be honest.
  • My heartburn. My heartburn is so bad. I’m to the point where I’d rather feel extra nauseated than feel any heartburn. I’d rather throw up every ten minutes then have this heartburn. Nothing has helped much so far. June can’t come soon enough.
  • Where is the snow? I’m sorry, but it is January and I have two little boys who would really, really like to play in the snow! So where is it, Utah??!

Home

My word for 2020 is Home, and I’m loving it. I also feel like I’ve started the year exactly how I’ve wanted to with this word. A focus of mine has been to keep the house tidy (or as tidy as I can with my two tornado sons). Its a task for me because I just don’t feel good and my energy and motivation are still pretty low (where’s all that second trimester energy I keep hearing about?) but I’m doing enough thats making me feel accomplished and proud of myself. We have also been really focusing on keeping the gospel a very relevant topic in our home, as well as kindness, choosing the right, etc and its already helped the atmosphere in our home tremendously and its exciting, comforting and very peaceful.

 

 

February Review

Thank heavens for February, am I right? Oh I needed February. If you follow me anywhere on Social Media, you know I had strong, upset feelings towards January 2019, so I’m just so glad that February stepped up and restored my faith in this new year.

GOOD

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  • First and foremost – our health was good and I AM GRATEFUL. Healthy kids, healthy dad, healthy mom. Happy life.
  • I got hooked on a show called Poldark, this month. Um. Go watch it. Love it. Thank me later. Its so amazing and I am so emotionally invested that my heart is just about to burst.
  • Wild Man and I had a visit to the temple this month and it was just so, so good. It was exactly what I needed. Things were so amazing there and I’m already craving another visit soon.
  • There was something really great about the time we spent with our families this month. We are so lucky to live so close to most of our families. I hope we always remember how lucky we are. I’m especially grateful my boys are so close to a lot of their cousins.

BAD

  • I still haven’t quite figured out how to calm my brain, yet. My mental state is all over the place. Sometimes its fine, but it feels like more often than not I’m feeling really anxious and stressed out. Its not fun

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  • Exercise and eating healthy ummmmm just didn’t happen in February. I mean, there were good days, but for the most part I just neglected that part of my life. I have high expectations of myself to get this all back in check in March. It’ll happen, I promise.

ON MY BRAIN

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  • Lately I’ve been bored of most social media. Something honestly, I never thought I’d say. I’m not ashamed to admit that I love social media. I still love Instagram, but YouTube is usually my very favorite platform but lately I just kind of haven’t cared about it and I’ve got to say, it feels really nice to not feel so attached to it anymore. I feel freer and like a better mom. I don’t know why I have kind of fallen away from it, but I’m sure thankful that I have. Its awesome.
  • We have a really fun vacation coming up soon and I am in that phase of going crazy trying to stay patient. I am so stinkin’ excited and can’t wait. I don’t want to share what it is yet (sorry i’m weird), but don’t worry, between the blog and instagram, I’ll share lots of pictures of it. Its so exciting to have something like this to look forward to. I have just felt the need to get away recently. Our family needs a little break from reality and this will be the perfect way to do so.

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January in Review

Ok let’s talk about January. It was 31 days, right? Then why did it feel like 301? Why were me and my sons sick every single one of those days? How come my mental health was spiraling this month? Why was it so long and exhausting? I mean don’t get me wrong, there was good stuff in January too (thank goodness), but it was really an off month for us.

GOOD

  • Despite feeling like garbage every day, I stuck to my exercise goals pretty well this month. I didn’t really do a lot of resolutions this year and I’m determined to be easier on myself and show myself more love and kindness.. So yeah, I missed several days of exercise and I only stuck to my goal of no-more-caffeine for two days, but I’m still doing awesome when it comes to my health. I’m eating things that are good for me, but I’m also eating food that makes me happy. I’m drinking so much more water, but I’m also drinking a lot of Dr Pepper. I’m exercising most days of the week, but I’m not holding myself to any unachievable fitness goals. I feel good about this.
  • E got tubes in his ears. This also was really sad because your 14 month old getting surgery is not super fun, but it’s good because now hopefully the constant ear pain and chronic ear infections will stop. It’s amazing, only a few hours after getting his tubes, he was already a happier kid. Being free from pain has made him so cheerful (even though he was pretty dang happy anyway) and I’m so grateful for it. Also, he’s totally a better walker now – isn’t that funny? I guess the ear pain was throwing his equilibrium off, so once it was gone, walking became so much easier to him!
  • I don’t know what happened or how long it’ll last, but I have this new found motivation to organize every inch of my house. I love it and how fulfilling and gratifying it is.
  • Snuggles. All the sickness has meant so. much. snuggling. and I am here for it. My boys are usually so wiggly and active, so I’ll take in all the cuddles I can get.
  • Modern medicine is amazing, isn’t it? I’m so thankful for it. I’m also so thankful for doctors.
  • H started Sunbeams! While I’m still in denial he’s three, it’s been so much fun to witness. The first week he was pretty devastated that he couldn’t go to Nursery, but now he’s cool with it. He loves his teacher (I do, too), he says his class has lots of friends and every single week after church he’s come up to me and told me that he loves Jesus and Jesus loves him. So it’s amazing.

BAD

  • Did I mention we’ve been sick all month? Wild Man somehow got lucky and only just barely got sick, but me and the boys have been sick since Christmas and I’m over it. We’ve had bronchitis, pink eye, sinus infections, colds, sinus colds, double ear infections, terrible chronic coughs, ear surgery, a dislocated shoulder and have pretty much single handedly been keeping Kleenex in business.
  • I was blind for a good portion of the month. My glasses mysteriously broke into 3 pieces at the same time I had pink eye. I couldn’t get new glasses because I didn’t have a current glasses prescription and I couldn’t go to the eye doctor because I had pink eye. I also couldn’t wear contacts because of pink eye. I wore Wild Mans glasses for a while but it made me feel dizzy and sick. Then a dear friend let me borrow her glasses that were a little bit of an improvement. A few days ago I finally got my new prescription and my new glasses will be ready soon! But just in case you didn’t know, being blind, especially when you’re a pretty blind human, is miserable.
  • I’ve never really had winter blues. That is until this month happened. I’ve never felt so eager for summer before! I am a person who claims winter is my favorite month, so it’s a very alien feeling.
  • December brought in a lot of family from out of state, and December brought their departures. Why do some family members have to live far away? Why can’t we snap our fingers and pop in to see them?
  • H turned 3 in November. I keep hearing the term ‘threenager’ and haven’t understood. Until a couple weeks ago. Ohhhh my gosh. Whoever complains about ‘terrible twos’ have clearly not had a three year old yet. H has always been an easy kid, but now all the sudden he tests me every day. He has so much more attitude, he knows how capable he is of being independent and he looooves to hit *please picture my massive eye roll. I’m exhausted. He’s exhausting. Good thing he’s cute and can be a big sweetie, because there are some moments where I just want to hide.
  • Come Follow Me (The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints new at home study material) is amazing and I am so on board with this. I love it and the concept of making home study so much more of a priority is incredible. So why the heck am I allowing myself to slack off a bit? Not a good way to start the year off. I’m still doing it and keeping up with the weekly materials, I just know I could be doing it so much more in depth.

ON MY BRAIN

  • I need Disney in my life. Thank heavens we have trips right around the corner. Thank heavens for Disney, am I right?
  • I’ve been serving in my wards Primary presidency for about a month now, and it’s been really incredible. It’s amazing to me how once you are sustained into a calling and you allow yourself to, you feel so connected to that position. My calling is fairly busy and I’m still figuring a lot of things out, but I’m really, really loving it. I serve with a group of amazing women and I’m confident this is where I’m supposed to be in the church right now.
  • Have you ever thought about how weird pets are? No really. This has been on my mind so much lately. They’re just this animals we allow into our homes to stay, eat, sleep and play at for free. We don’t speak the same language and sometimes we bug the heck out of each other. I’ve spent a few late nights up by myself with Penny (our lab) and couldn’t stop thinking about how funny pets are. Does this make me sound crazy?
  • I’m going to be a fun mom in February. No doubt about it, I was a lame mom this month. I already have our February bucket list in a prominent place and I’m ready to crush it.

December GBOMB

Oh, hey! Long time, no talk. I decided to take a break from blogging in December. I had all these grand intentions of doing lots of fun, holiday themed posts during the month, but then I felt like ultimately it would be more meaningful and important for me to really be present in each day. It was a great month, but it also kind of kicked our butts. It stretched me, I slept less than I have in quite a while, both our boys were hardly ever feeling well it seemed like, I turned another year older, I learned a lot, I started planning for the new year and so on. I never thought I’d say this, but I won’t be completely heartbroken this time to see December go. I’m just ready for our schedule, our plans, my new goals and to start working on some changes.

GOOD

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  • Christmas. Christmas was amazing, especially Christmas morning. Being with just our family of four was so magical. The boys had an amazing time, they were really into gift opening and were so happy about the things they received. It all felt so relaxing and special. I’m still on a high from that great morning.
  • I was put in as our wards Primary Secretary this month! The last few months I have actually been feeling like a change would be coming to my calling. I felt like I was going to have something quite a bit more responsible, and I was actually really excited about that. I didn’t know what it would be, and honestly I didn’t think it’d be in the Primary Presidency, but when I was asked if I’d serve in that position I was honestly filled with so much excitement! The new Presidency I was put in with is really awesome and I’m just so excited to be able to hold this calling and serve the sweet young ones in our ward.
  • All the family time this month was wonderful. Wild Man’s whole family was in town, my grandparents came into town and we saw family here in Utah that we don’t see nearly as often as we should. I looked forward to each one of these family get togethers.
  • Wild Man nailed my birthday and Christmas. He’s always a very thoughtful gift-giver, but he really outdid himself this year. The gifts he gave me still make my heart flutter. I felt so understood and cared for and really excited!
  • H started his special speech delay preschool in November and I’m so impressed by his improvement and its only been a month! He’s blown us away with all of his progress. He is a talking machine now and I feel like he’s getting easier and easier to understand every day! I’m so proud of him.

BAD

  • E got another double ear infection. We can’t remember for sure, but we think this is his sixth or seventh since October! So we will be beginning the process of getting tubes in his ear in January. Ear infections are awful to witness. I’m so over them for him. I feel like he never really heals from them so he just keeps getting them. I’m so annoyed, but very anxious (and nervous) for him to get tubes. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully this will take care of the problem.
  • Was it the best month for my mental health? No. Was it the best month for my physical health? No.
  • By the end of the month I had got pretty down on myself. I’m still trying to figure this out. Its just one of those times, you know? But that doesn’t make them any easier. It is hard. It makes easy daily tasks difficult. I’m in a rut. I’m excited to get out of it.

ON MY BRAIN

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  • I turned 28. Why does 28 basically seem like 30 to me? It feels like a big number to me, but I’m also pretty hopeful for what my year will bring me.
  • Last year I hardcore got the winter blues and it was my first time. But this year (so far, at least) I don’t even have a hint of that, which makes me wonder if it wasn’t actually winter blues but if it was baby blues? I did have a one month old last December. I don’t know. But I keep thinking about that.
  • I’m really excited to get into January. I’m making some changes and entering the new year differently than I usually enter a new year (i’ll do a post more about that later). I’m excited to finally give myself the opportunity to do things the way I want to, not the way I feel like I’m supposed to. It feels good to embrace who you are and be ok with your quirks and your ideas and opinions.
  • I hope you all had a happy 2018. I hope your 2019 is amazing. Thank you for sticking around with me for another year. I really appreciate my readers and those of you who spend some time with me here. Love you all! Happy New Year!

2018 GBOMB

GOOD

  • In January I finally vocalized my concern to Wild Man about my fears about H- specifically that I was stressed out that he was hardly talking at all. In late January/early February we started his speech therapy journey and it took an enormous weight off of my shoulders. It was wonderful to know I wasn’t crazy and making this problem up in my mind and to know we were getting him the help he needed to catch up and thrive. We are basically a year in now and I am amazed as I reflect back on his progress. He’s come leaps and bounds and I’m so, so proud of him.
  • We had several amazing Disney trips this year. We always do and I’m sure I sound like a broken record talking about them, but I love them and they’re some of the most special parts of my year no matter how many times I go. I just really love Disney, you guys. I will always. I’ll never stop. Now lets go back.
  • In September we took a trip to the mountains of Colorado to stay in our cousins uncles huge cabin with some family. This was our second time going on this trip and it just keeps getting better and I’m already looking forward to next year. The boys loved exploring and honestly seeing H take everything in from this new experience for him was amazing – a highlight of the year for sure.
  • Just a few weeks ago I was called to be the Secretary in my wards new Primary Presidency. I have felt so good about this since I was asked to serve in this calling and its such a great feeling. This is exactly where I’m supposed to be in the church, I have no doubt. Its really awesome to be periodically reminded of just how mindful and aware of you that Heavenly Father is.
  • I basically quit Twitter. I was a little sad about it at first, but now I love it. I still check it every few days because I have some great friends I’ve made on there and this is my only way to keep up to date on them, but the more I’m staying away from it, the more I’m realizing I don’t need it and I’m just fine without it. I’d realized that Twitter was draining me. There was a lot of negativity there and I was getting sickened by it. I was ready to be done but wasn’t brave enough to pull the trigger. Then in October, President Nelson challenged the sisters of the church to take a break from social media. Ever since then I have seen that I just don’t need Twitter. Hallelujah.

BAD

  • It was a bad year for mental health. Some months and weeks were awesome and I felt like I was so on top of it, but for the most part I felt like I was fighting to stay afloat.
  • I’m pretty sure every month at least one of us was always sick. Thats really exhausting. Hopefully hopefully hopefully 2019 is a healthier ear for us.
  • Its very clear to me that I need to up my housekeeping game. I’m so lucky to have a husband thats incredibly helpful around the house, but I still need to pull more weight than I have the last little while. I get lazy and unmotivated quickly. I’m sure a lot of this correlates with my mental state, but I’m determined to get better at this stuff in the coming year.

ON MY BRAIN

  • The end of the year always fills me with questions about the year that is coming up. I’m not setting a whole lot of goals for myself this year. I am going to hopefully just go with the flow and do what feels right. But I’m still so curious about whats to come for our family.
  • Social Media. Its always on my brain. I don’t really even know what to say about it except that I wouldn’t be surprised if my activity and position on it changes in 2019.
  • I love my family. We’ve grown a lot this year and we have made incredible memories with each other throughout these last twelve months. I’m very happy. I’m very blessed.