Progress is Progress!

In January, I decided enough was enough. I was going to make my health a priority. Healthy eating. Daily exercise. Mindfulness. Taking control of my mental health. Nurturing my spiritual health. I knew it would take a lot of self control and discipline, and truth be told, I was nervous that I’d start this goal out strong, then eventually it’d fade out and I’d go back to my past ways.

But I promised myself I’d do my best. I’d hold myself accountable. I’d believe in myself and I’d push myself.

And now I am three and a half months in and still going strong and I am freaking proud of myself!

I’ve never had a goal weight or clothing size in mind. I just wanted to feel healthy, strong, confident and empowered. I’m happy to say that I’m doing so well and 100% doing exactly what I know I should be doing right now. My self confidence is higher than it’s been in so long, I feel good, I feel strong, I feel empowered and confident and my mental health is doing leaps and bounds better.

Like I anticipated, it really has taken a lot of accountability and discipline, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come and that I’m doing it in a healthy way. No foods are off limits, I’m giving myself grace and I’m being realistic. It feels good to get fit and healthy while also keeping a healthy, happy mindset! I can’t wait to see how I’ll feel months from now!

Better with Time

I’ve been on my healthy lifestyle journey for about two and a half months now. In two and a half months, I’ve learned so much and a lot has changed.

Did you know I enjoy exercise now?

I don’t crave Diet Coke as powerfully anymore.

I eat so much fresh fruits and veggies, and I like it!

My mental health is feeling so much more in check and my anxiety is a little less crazy.

I’m more confident in my body image!

I believe in myself more and have learned I can be powerful and self-motivated and reach the goals I set for myself.

I’m just feeling so good. I’m feeling empowered and excited. I’m proud of myself for deciding to make this lifestyle change a habit and for sticking to it. I didn’t realize just how much my body needed this. It wasn’t because I felt I needed to lose weight or look a certain way, it was because I wanted to make myself a priority and show my body that I love and respect it. I wanted to nurture the relationship I had with this body of mine. And it’s working!

If you’ve been on the fence about starting a similar journey for yourself, GO FOR IT!! I will cheer for you! I’ll be a member of your support system and I’ll be here if you need someone to chat with! We all deserve to treat ourselves with kindness and respect!

Love you all

NOT National Yoga Day

You guys. I wrote this post the other day, because I had it in my mind that today, February 22nd, was 100% National Yoga Day. Or World Yoga Day. Whatever. But this morning I woke up to just double check my facts and…turns out that day is actually June 21st. Where did I go wrong? Did I dream this date? Did I read false information? What happened? I don’t know. I’m kind of embarrassed. But here’s the thing. I already have this post all written up. I also dug out this old picture of me in a yoga photoshoot. So I can’t let all the work go to waste, you know? So without further ado, enjoy this random post about yoga, on this, NOT World Yoga Day.

Yoga.

I love yoga so dearly. I can’t recall when my obsession with yoga began, but it was years and years ago. Before I even knew who Craig was – which makes it seem even longer ago. All I know for certain is that yoga has always been, and hopefully continues to be, my most preferred type of exercise. If you can combine exercise with mindfulness, meditation and this form of therapy? Sign. Me. Up. Its glorious.

Yoga can get a bad wrap for just saying “ohmmmmmm,” and sitting cross-legged on a mat with your eyes closed for hours. But its not that guys. I mean, if you want it to be, it can. But its so much more. It can be a heart-pumping, sweat-inducing workout. It can be ooey-gooey movement that leaves you feeling lighter both physically and emotionally. Its beautiful. It challenges you and pushes you. It forces you to channel a spot in your brain you don’t use much otherwise. It encourages you to be in the moment and give yourself this time just for yourself.

Its special to me. Its given me so much sanity and peace. Its mended my heart time and time again. Its taken weight off of my shoulders. Its re-centered and re-focused me. Its made me excited to move and exercise. Its made me eager to take care of myself – both mentally and physically.

If you have not tried yoga before, I sure hope you’ll give it a try. Its life changing.

Namaste, my friends.

Taking Care of MOM

You hear it all the time as a mother. “You need to take care of yourself.” But that can be so hard sometimes. Its something you just don’t totally get until you’re actually in it. I know its so incredibly important to take time out for me. I’m a better mom and wife when I make sure I’m taking care of myself and doing things for myself.

Sometimes it can be hard to figure out just what to do, though. What can you, as not only a mom, but a human being, do for yourself to rejuvenate yourself, refresh yourself and keep the relationship with yourself alive and healthy? I’m going to give you a few of my go-to self care things and some of my fantasy ones as well to hopefully inspire you to do something for yourself!!

Ideas to Take Care of Yourself

  • Take a bath. Not one to wash your hair, shave your legs and ponder the meaning of life. A bath to sit in hot water with a sparkly bath bomb, snacks, a Diet Coke and either a podcast on or something on YouTube. Lose yourself in the moment full of things you love and a whole lot of mindlessness.
  • Go get your nails done. Pick a color that makes you happy. Rock it.
  • Set aside time for yourself to read a book, a magazine, a blog or something of that nature. If reading isn’t your thing, I personally love to listen to a podcast while browsing instagram — or pictures of my kids haha.
  • Exercise. My personal faves are yoga or running. Or heck, try a new workout! Maybe you’ll find something you love and it could become your new outlet.
  • Take a nap. I know some people don’t identify as a ‘nap person,’ but I certainly am and I’m fairly certain that naps can solve lots of problems.
  • Go grab a soda. Going on a ride, listening to music or a podcast and getting a delicious Diet Coke? Sign. me. up. Sounds like a dream come true if you ask me.
  • Call your mom or a trusted family member or friend. Talk to the people who don’t live in your home and just chat. They should be some people that make you feel good.
  • Ice Cream and a show. One of my favorite things to do in the evening is to sit on the couch, watch tv, eat ice cream and play around on my computer. Sometimes I work on blog posts or sometimes I lose myself on Pinterest. Either way I feel awesome.

Those are only a few ideas, but they’re some of my tried and true ones. What are your go-to’s?!

Just remember. You’re amazing and you absolutely deserve time to yourself. You are just as important as your children and your husband. Don’t forget that!

The Start of Something New

…it feels so right to be here with you, ohh!

{bonus points for you if you know what thats from}

On Monday I committed myself to something, and I have every intention of staying committed. I started exercising and paying attention to what I’m putting into my body. I am feeling so motivated and empowered and am actually very excited for this journey I’m taking myself on.

I started working out a few weeks ago right around 6 weeks postpartum, but long story short, I just lacked the motivation. I also didn’t feel all the way healed, because while I exercised a lot still hurt and didn’t feel right. So it was a short lived thing. But now I am about 10 weeks postpartum and feelings leaps and bounds better physically and mentally, and I’m ready to do this.

I want to be clear about something though, I’m not doing this to lose weight. I’m not doing it to get my “pre-baby body,” either. I’m doing this to feel good about myself. I’m doing this to do something good for myself. I’m a mom and a wife — so I spent the good majority of my days doing things for others to make them feel good. But I need to do things for myself, too. I need to make sure I’m feeling good, as well. I’m totally a believer that when you’re putting yourself as a priority, you’re a better person all around. I need to do that. However, if I do lose some pounds and tone my body up while on this journey, then awesome – I’ll have worked hard for it, so I’ll be proud of myself. But ultimately, I want to keep my body, my wonderful body, healthy and happy.

I’m excited to start this! I’m excited to feel stronger, feel more confident and get back that body confidence thats so easy to lose when you’ve recently had a baby and all you see is flabby, stretched skin, extra pounds, stretch marks and a tired face. I’m doing this for me – to feel like me, again, and I’m ready!

Do you have a goal? Start today!! Lets reach our goals together! Lets motivate each other! We can do this!!

Baby Sister!

Flora

June 11, 2020

Details and birth story coming soon. For now, just know that we are all doing so, so well. Our hearts are full as full can be. We have already been so blessed by having this sweet little girl in our family! I can’t wait to share more of her with you later. In the meantime, I’ll be soaking up all the newborn snuggles, smells and sounds because this is my heaven on earth!

My ECV Experience

On June 4th, Craig and I went into the hospital to get Baby Sister moved from a breech (head up) position to a head down position. This was so I could have a much better chance at vaginal delivery and a VBAC. It was also because we didn’t want to possibly risk another experience like Emmett’s birth, which was a bit scary (thankfully only for a moment). We had a few different options of how to go about this all, but ultimately, Craig and I felt best and most peaceful about attempting to move her, and now that all is said and done, and she’s still head down, I feel that it was all very worth it and I’m glad we had the procedure done.

My experience with an External Cephalic Version, or ECV, was painful, but good. Here is the quick recap of how that day went.

Early in the morning we went to the hospital and got all registered and situated in a labor and delivery room. I got into a gown and was hooked up to the heart monitor to track Sisters heart, and a contraction monitor, just in case. I was hooked to an IV and then my doctor came in to explain to us what was going to happen. He told us about things that could go wrong and how they would handle those situations. An anesthesiologist came in, also just in case I needed to be whisked away to have an emergency c-section. The anticipation of the procedure about to happen was slightly nerve wracking, but I knew, I truly knew, I was in good, prepared hands.

I was given some muscle relaxer drug that kicked in really fast and made me feel so loopy and a lot more relaxed. It definitely wasn’t anything that muted any pain, but it did help my stomach stay soft and easy to work with. I was also given a shot in the back of my arm (not sure what that was?) and then a few nurses came in, the anesthesiologist stood nearby, Craig stood near by head and my doctor positioned himself beside me and began the ECV.

Overall, the whole procedure took less than ten minutes. It went smoothly and thankfully the baby cooperated with everything going on for the most part. My doctor definitely knew what he was doing and I was grateful to see how often he checked the ultrasound to make sure she was doing ok in there with all this chaos. Right towards the end when she was nearly all the way head down, her head was being a little stubborn and getting into place, and then all the sudden it was like a puzzle piece fitting perfectly where it should, I felt her head pop into the exact spot it was meant to be. I don’t know how to explain it except that all the sudden she just fit really well where she was at. The procedure was not comfortable at all. It hurt really bad. I kept my eyes closed the entire time and just tried to focus on breathing. I got so hot and felt so sweaty. I could feel my feet flexing hard (nurses later commented on that, too) and my hands were squeezing my gown as hard as I could. It was tolerable pain, but it was not fun at all. I was terribly sore the next couple of days and am still sore in one specific spot. It was rough, but thankfully, not long.

When it was all finished, I was monitored for the next hour, as well as sisters heartbeat. We both checked out just fine and were able to be discharged!

I was told to take it easy the next couple of days and be mindful of good fetal movement (which thankfully there was so much of). Now that it is all said and done, I am grateful for the experience. I’d say it was totally worth it and I’d recommend it to someone who was faced with that possibility with a breech baby.

ECV

Today I am going to the hospital to have what will hopefully be a successful External Cephalic Version. In other words, today I am going to the hospital and my doctor is going to attempt to spin my baby. If you didn’t know/didn’t remember, she is in a breech position with her head straight up and her little bum straight down. Ideally, she should be flipped the complete opposite way of where she currently is.

Since we have learned she’s breech, we have just been planning on a c-section. But apparently a c-section wouldn’t be able to be scheduled for me until 39 weeks, and with my last pregnancy (which was frank breech and ended up being kind of a scary delivery I’d rather not re-experience) I didn’t even make it to 39 weeks. My water broke just a little after 38 weeks. So my doctors concern was if we waited to schedule me until 39 weeks, there was a very good chance I’d go into labor before then.

There is a lot more detail to all of this and all the different options that I’m choosing to leave out, but ultimately, Craig and I decided to go in and attempt to have her moved. If this all goes successfully, I’ll have a shot to have a regular vaginal delivery – something I truly believed was just out of the cards for me this time around. So this could really be exciting, but I’m also not trying to get my hopes up either way.

Overall, we are just hoping and praying that our sweet girl will be safe. We pray that her heart rate won’t do anything it shouldn’t and that her umbilical cord will cooperate. If possible, it’d be awesome if she decided to stay in the head down position. Then we’d just be able to wait for me to go into labor and have a vaginal delivery, which is what I’ve always wanted deep down. But this all comes down to her. Just as long as she is safe and healthy, I don’t really care how she comes into the world. But right now, the ECV is what feels best to both Craig and I.

Wish us luck!

Pregnant During a Pandemic

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I can tell you honestly, that when we found out that I was pregnant back in the end of 2019, I certainly did not foresee being pregnant during a global pandemic. I mean, who would even think that could be a possibility, right? Yet here we are. May 2020 and the world is still in the midst of the Covid-19 craziness…and I am due next month. 

Growing and having a baby during a pandemic was never, ever on my radar. I mean, I worry about out-there things happening all the time, but a global health crisis was never something I had thought up. At first, I didn’t think too much of it. I mean, I was already pregnant – so what good would worrying do? But in typical me-fashion, I started thinking and thinking more about it, reading more articles and listening to more opinions. I still, thankfully, can say that I’m not really too worried about it, but I definitely have more concern than I did a few months ago. Mostly, I just hope and pray and pray and pray and pray that me and my family will be healthy when Baby Sister decides to come. Because I am preeeeety darn sure that I’ll be having a c-section, we have this kind of weird situation where we (ok, mostly me) are stressing out about keeping Craig super healthy, because if he is ill, he can’t be in the operating room with me. That sounds like my worst nightmare ever. I had a c-section with Emmett and didn’t particularly love it, and Craig was right beside me! I can only imagine what my feelings would be about it all if my own husband wasn’t able to be next to me. I get it, but that doesn’t mean I’d like it to happen to me!

So what has helped me?

  • Accepting that this is my reality. Like I said earlier, what will worrying do besides cause me to sleep even less than I already do?  If I had the option, I wouldn’t take a time machine and not get pregnant at the end of last year – I want Baby Sister in June, exactly when she’s coming – so I’m just accepting and embracing that this is my life. This is exactly how its supposed to happen! In the long run, it’ll be cool to say I had a baby during a pandemic, right?
  • My doctors. My doctors have been so helpful. They’ve given me their honest opinions on how to navigate this crazy time, but have done it in a way that is comforting and calming and I cannot express just how grateful I am for that.
  • Talking about it. A lot. Craig, my mom and sisters hear me talk about this all the time and I bet they’re ready for it to be over, but its been super therapeutic for me and helps me process it all.
  • Sooooo many prayers. You guys, I’m already kind of a crazy, all-the-time pray-er, but now I just pray 1,000 times more. Like yeah, it can be exhausting, but its helping so much and I’m not ashamed to pray all. the. time.
  • Not dwell too much on the fact that I’ve recently found out I have to take the Covid-19 test before I have baby, because that test looks so miserable. (Sorry, I just had to add this because UGH).

In the end, yeah, I’m pregnant during a pandemic and thats crazy. Its rough and it is nerve-racking and can be a little bit scary. But its all going to be ok. Amazing women all over the world are having babies left and right during this and they’re rocking it. They’re doing well and they’re reminding me that the most important thing about all of this is your sweet tiny baby. I already know that as soon as I have my little baby girl I’ll forget all about the pandemic happening outside my hospital room door – my whole world will be my kids. Thats what’s most important. Thats the main thing that helps me, guys. Just knowing that I still have my perfect children and I get to be their mom.

If you, too, are pregnant right now and you’re stressed or you have big feelings about it, please reach out to me if you want someone to talk to! I’d be more than happy to listen, because believe me, I have stresses and big feelings about this, too!!

So Much Closer

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So its only just very, very recently occurred to me that this pregnancy is starting to wrap up. I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever, so the fact that its totally nearing the end is hard for me to completely grasp. I am due next month! I’m due in six-ish weeks. I am full term in just a couple more weeks. This is crazy! I am so close to the end! We are SO close to meeting our anxiously awaited Baby Sister, finally!! Its all just so mind blowing to me. All the sudden its just…here! Or, super almost here, at least. Its so exciting and rewarding!!

Her nursery is all ready for her. The only thing missing is her. Craig and I love to spend time in there just sitting and daydreaming life with her in it. Its magical. I can’t wait to meet her and see who she is. See what she looks like. And hopefully finally figure out what in the world her name is.

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At my latest doctors appointment it was basically loosely confirmed that she’d be delivered via c-section. This isn’t how I envisioned her birth, at all. I was really hoping for a successful VBAC, but she had other plans when she decided to be a breech baby. I really disliked my c-section with Emmett, but I’m pretty sure thats because his was a scary emergency situation and he didn’t come out looking very good, at all. I’m hoping and praying that her c-section will go a lot better and change my mind about c-sections. I’m not super excited about the recovery, either. But I realize all of these reasons I’m not thrilled about a c-section are because of me being selfish. What matters is her. What matters is getting her here in the safest manner possible, which is very, very likely – a c-section. I’d much rather have her come into the world in the best way possible instead of fighting for what my idea of my third birth would be and having something not go so well. You know? I do find it funny though. Harrison was a head down baby. Emmett was a sideways baby. Baby Sister is a head up baby. Does that mean my fourth will be a sideways baby, but her head will be on the opposite side Emmett’s was?