My Little Boy

I have been hit pretty aggressively with the realization that we are down to just a few months of having just one child. Our sweet baby H. The perfect little bundle of joy who made us parents and introduced us to a happiness and overwhelming feeling of pride we never could have known if it weren’t for him. 

My heart is feeling torn in so many different directions. Of course I am beyond thrilled to have our second little boy in November. I’ve dreamt my whole life of having several kids and that’s still my dream! I am so excited to see H become a big brother and to finally meet this little brother of his. I am so anxious to see his face, to learn his personality and to soak all of him in. I actually feel more excited this time around, probably because this time I’m not so clueless. I know how special my children are now. I know how much I love them and how much I love being a mom. I can’t let myself dwell too much on this or else I turn into an emotional puddle. 

But then there is the part of me that knows how much H’s world is going to be rocked. Life as he knows it is going to drastically change and a part of me, in a weird way, feels a little bit guilty. People who often joke about how H is going to be second place, etc certainly don’t help the way I feel either. He is very accustomed to being the one and only. He’s used to undivided attention and snuggles on demand. I know it’s good for him to learn that the world in fact doesn’t revolve around him…but there’s still guilt!! 

I hope he can figure out quickly that he’s still so loved. Our love isn’t going to lessen for him even in the slightest. In fact I’ve heard the love we have for him will even grow! Our hearts are just going to get bigger so we can have the same amount of love for little brother! I hope he sees that he’s still our world, our joy and our tiny best buddy. Because he is – he always will be!

I know that especially once the baby is here I will feel differently. I’ll just know our new family of four is perfect and meant to be. I know that now, come to think of it – I’m just.. I don’t know. Am I even making sense or do I just sound crazy? I am so in love with this crazy 20 month old and I want him to never feel that his value has decreased just because another baby joined our family. It’s giving me so many emotions I honestly wasn’t anticipating. It’s funny how I am so far past elated for this new addition but at the same time feel a tinge of guilt. 

Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s ever felt like this? Also please tell me it’s just hormones or a phase or something and I’ll get over this before November?!

xoxo

ceeceesparkles 

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Back to Me!

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Finally at 22 weeks pregnant I am feeling almost 100% myself, again and I want to shout this good news from the rooftops! When I got pregnant with H, though I was really sick, I still felt *normal* as I could. I was able to get things done, I was able to find motivation even if it was just in small bursts, I was still myself more or less. But this time around it took me so long to feel that way. Like I said, I’m still not 100% but I can see and feel the changes finally. I’m able to keep the house clean, stay on top of laundry and do the dishes regularly. I can put effort into dinner again. I just feel so much better. So much more me!

This all came at the perfect time really because this past week poor H has been the sickest I’ve seen him. He got hit with a nasty bout of diarrhea and then also started throwing up. Just when I think he may be on the mend he has another yucky diaper or throws up again. Its kind of heart breaking. Seeing him laying on the couch for hours at a time just watching movies is sweet but also really sad. But thankfully now that I’m able to be motivated I’m able to keep up on the dirty laundry this poor sick boy has created in ever growing piles. I’m able to keep his room and bed (ohhh the messes that have happened in his crib) clean and sanitized and feel like I’m doing all that I can and should be doing to hopefully help him along the road to recovery. Its a good feeling – feeling like I’m able to give my all to being the best mom I know how to be to my more than deserving little guy.

I know this is a short, random little post. But I’m feeling really jazzed about feeling good. And really hoping H can join me soon in this feeling good party. ::fingers crossed::

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

 

A Heaping Dose of Reality

See this picture? This (high quality) photograph is a pretty perfect depiction of my life since March.

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My morning sickness started kicking in pretty intensely at about 5 weeks for me and if I remember correctly, thats about when it came in when I was pregnant with H as well. I really don’t like complaining about pregnancy stuff because I know there are some women out there who would give up everything to feel the way I feel. I was an only child for 8 years and watched my mom wish for another baby. I have friends who had to wait a really long time to get their baby and some who are still waiting. I totally understand how lucky I am to be pregnant with my second child right now. I don’t take this experience for granted and although I do complain occasionally, I hope its not mistaken as me not being happy about growing a baby or being able to physically grow a child.

But sometimes it feels good to complain a little, am I right? I’ve been losing weight, I throw up several times a day, I live in constant fear that I’ll be diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes again, I have no energy or motivation, I’m so dang tired and I just don’t feel like myself yet. I remember there came a time during my pregnancy with H sometime during my second trimester that I eventually figured out how to force myself to be productive and be a functioning human being again and I’m really hoping now that I’m in my second trimester I can figure that out again, soon.

I’m so grateful for my husband and for the patience he has had. He went from having a good wife who did all the housewife jazz to a wife who lays on the couch and forgets grocery shopping and meal planning all together most weeks. He has been the dish-doer, the laundry guy and the person who straightens up our house and he hasn’t complained or made me feel bad or guilty about it once. I mean, I still do feel guilty about it, but its just because of my own thoughts. I married a real good man and I hope he knows that I’ll be back at my wife duties soon (fingers crossed)!

I also have to talk about what an angel H has been. His mom is BORING right now you guys. I can’t tell you how guilty I feel about this subject. H is a wiggly, active, energetic little boy who just wants to play and to be played with. Yet his mom is usually gross on the couch and is turning on yet another Disney movie for him. But he has rolled with this change so effortlessly and so easily and I couldn’t be more thankful for it. He plays happily by himself on the floor but still makes sure to crawl up on the couch with me from time to time to cuddle and give kisses. He’s been a dream boy through this. Lately I have been able to get down and play with him a little more often and I hope it just keeps getting better because you can just tell how much he loves it! But I’m also really glad that he knows how to play alone and self-entertain when he needs to. I have an amazing little boy.

So anyway. Life is weird right now. I’m lazy and sick and tired and gross. But I’m really grateful that I get to have another sweet baby and that our family is going to grow. Every second, no matter how barfy, is worth it in the end.

And I end this post with a picture of my family this past Sunday – a rare occasion when I actually got ready.

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xoxo

ceeceesparkles

The Freaking BEST

I’m a Master Esthetician and I own my own spa that is in my basement. It keeps me busy and I really love that its my job. The thing I do the very most is eyelash extensions and doing them is really fun because for a few hours I get to chat with my cute clients/friends. Its really awesome to talk to these great ladies and socialize, laugh, vent and all that great stuff. A few days ago I had a client who doesn’t have kids yet and she was asking me lots of questions about how I like being a mom. I kind of got the idea that she’s not in any rush to have children because a lot of her questions basically ended with her saying, “it seems so hard” “it seems messy” “it seems like so much work” “it sounds like you never have time for yourself” and so on. And thats just fine! Everyone has their own opinion and they know themselves best so I’m totally not bashing on that. I like being really honest about motherhood. I don’t sugarcoat stuff because I feel like real life needs to be more regular instead of all this i-have-a-perfect-life stuff. I just have my little 18 month H right now (and the baby I’m currently cookin’) and yeah, life with him is busy and messy and sticky and poopy. It comes with the age! It comes with the fact that I wanted to be a mom! Sometimes, yes, it does make me want to cry and pull my hair out – like when I leave the room for less than a minute and walk into my kitchen to find him drawing on the tile floor with a permanent marker…

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…but its also the best thing I could ever do. The rumors are true. Life changes BIG time when you add a child to your life. Priorities change drastically. You find that you focus less on yourself and more on this little person who is in need of another diaper change. Your house gets a little messier and your walls/cupboards/everything gets stickier. You’ll sleep less, worry more and feel completely clueless but also all-knowing. It changes you in ways you could never prepare for and no one could ever accurately depict to you. But if you want my opinion, its honestly the greatest thing EVER. I knew I wanted to be a mom since – well forever. I was always (still am) the girl who wants to hold all the babies and when I’m not pregnant I long for the days that I am again (yes, even with how sick I get). But even with how excited I was to be a mom and how much I knew I’d love it, its still surprised me with just how incredible it is. Nothing compares. Nothing, to me, is more fulfilling.

 

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I love being a mother. I understand that it isn’t for everyone, but it is absolutely for me. My hairs never been dirtier, my clothes have never been messier and the bags under my eyes have never looked scarier, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love my sweet little guy. He’s my best friend and the cutest little partner. I am so excited to meet our new baby and to get to know it so closely and carefully. I’m eager for our future children. And hey, I’m even super excited for my grandkids! Kids are just the best and being a mom is the greatest. Its the freaking BEST.

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

Round Two!

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Hooray! We are finally announcing that I am pregnant with our second little bundle of joy! Come November, we will have another sweet little thing to love on and snuggle with and we are overjoyed. Funny enough, this babies due date is H’s birthday! So our kids will be pretty much exactly two years apart!

Just like with H, I have been feeling pretty miserable. Sick sick sick. Throwing up. Losing weight. All that fun stuff. But hey, you just keep on trekking because these babies are so worth it! Its different being pregnant with your first compared to being pregnant with your second. With my first pregnancy I could lay on the couch 24/7, sleep in, nap whenever I needed to and was just 100% lazy. Now its a different story because, though I’d love to be 100% lazy, I have a busy little boy to chase around and care for. Its actually nice. Its made time pass a little quicker and forces me to get up and be even kind of productive.

I’m actually really relived to be announcing that I’m pregnant because now I have an explanation for why I have been so flaky and absent when it comes to blogging and other social media. I felt like I had writers block when it came to blogging because all I wanted to talk about was being pregnant but I couldn’t say anything yet so I’d start a post and then just fizzle out and end up deleting the post. Now that we have gone public with this though I feel like I’m going to be a lot better at posting frequently, even if it has nothing to do with being pregnant. Does that make sense? I don’t know, but thats how its working.

And now I can post about our magical Disneyland trip from a couple weeks ago! I was hesitant to post pictures because my belly is in that is she pregnant/is she chubby phase and I didn’t want to post the pictures before you guys knew that its a baby in there!

Yay for Baby #2! We are very blessed, excited and sleepy!

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

So You Want to Have a Dance Party?

Since I am a SAHM and I have a very busy husband, I have a lot of one-on-one time with my little man. I super love planting our bums on the couch and watching a movie or two, but I try to make sure that we have a lot more time playing and being active than we do being potatoes. One of our most recent favorite pastimes lately are having full-blown dance parties. We hook the music on my phone up to our AppleTV and turn our music up loud and dance dance dance! H has some killer moves consisting of small squats, thigh slaps, hand claps and gentle head banging that blow my moves out of the water, but we dance hard nonetheless. Bonus: If you actually dance (or attempt to) it also counts as cardio!

Seeing as these dance parties happen at least once a day and H and I are kinda feeling like pros at this, we consulted and decided to share with you our favorite dance party playlist! Spoiler Alert: Its all Disney music. Are you surprised? You shouldn’t be..

OUR DANCE PARTY PLAYLIST

  • Try Everything (from Zootopia): A classic dance song. I don’t think anyone can listen to this song without at least tapping their toes to the beat.
  • I Just Can’t Wait to be King (from Lion King): Why is this such a little boy song to me? It makes me so proud that H loves this one so much.
  • Be Our Guest (from Beauty and the Beast): I really didn’t think this would be such a dance song but H lights up when he hears it so I can’t ever skip past this one when it comes on (not that i’d want to – its a great song!)
  • Sugar Rush (from Wreck It Ralph): Oh we have fun with this one and according to H, this is a great one to thigh-slap to.
  • The Bare Necessities (from Jungle Book): Wild Man sings this song all. the. time. so it seemed like a necessity (see what i did there?) to add this to our playlist.
  • You’re Welcome (from Moana): We are big fans of this song here. And we are sooooo excited for this movie to come out super soon!
  • Winnie the Pooh (from Winnie the Pooh, duh): I can’t hear this song now without picturing H doing this cute little squat while clapping his hands and smiling. He is a big fan of Pooh Bear.

And by that point I am exhausted and H is ready for a snack.

Think there are any songs we’re missing on our go-to Disney Dance Party Playlist?

xoxo

ceeceesparkles

Better Than Any President

Politics. Like 90% of social media is just political talk now I swear. I hate it, I’ll be honest. I don’t really love politics. I respect it, I know we need it and all that but I hate that it can so often turn people into mean, ugly monsters who say crude, evil, judgmental things. I’m a softy and when I feel like all I’m hearing is judgements (true or not) that are mean my gut hurts a little more with each tweet or article heading I read. I fully understand everyone is entitled to their opinion and everyone has the right to share their opinion and thats fine! That is why you’ll never see me tell someone that they shouldn’t say what they said. I don’t decide who gets to say what and why and where and all that. All I can do is decide what I say and decide how what other people say effect me. Because of who I am, what people say really effects me – good or bad.

No one is going to like everyone. Again, totally fine. I can’t even imagine how Molly Mormon and prude-like I’m going to sound when I say I guess I was raised with the “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all” mentality. I have certain people I will share my ‘not nice’ comments and opinions with, but I generally like to keep them to myself. This is also likely because I will bend over backwards and do a million backflips in an attempt to avoid any and all confrontation. Haha. I get teased for wishing I lived in a Disney Princess world and the more I type the more I see that this is so true. Am I 26 or 6?

How about I get onto what I really want this post to be like before I keep talking about what a baby I am with political talk.

I am not going to share who I voted for. I will say that voting was hard for me this time because I wasn’t in full support of anyone running. (is anyone every 100% in full support of a presidential candidate?) But regardless, Donald Trump is now the President of the United States. This is me, personally and you do not have to agree with me, but I am choosing to accept this and I will respect him as our President. That is just who I am and not at all who you have to be. I do not agree with all that he does or what he has said and if I think too much about it I get a little nervous for…a lot. Now that I’m a mom I have found I am always thinking about how something will effect my child. I’ve thought so much about the state of the world lately and how its going to effect H. I have thought about what celebrities say, what the President says, what neighbors say and even about what some family says and I get so worried for the world my son and future children are growing up in. It can be scary! Obviously there are a lot of good things in this world too and I like to believe and hope my children will stay on a good path that will find them happy and rising above negativity, etc, but its still in my nature to be a little hesitant.

But then the thought hit me. Who is going to be a more prominent, powerful, constant example in my sons life? The President, or me?

Me.

I am the one who my son sees, interacts with and watches closely every day. I am the one he mimics and copies. I am the one, right now, who he idolizes, loves and keeps a very close eye. My impact on my son is far greater than the impact of any President, no matter how I, or others, feel about him.

So instead of worrying about what people in the spotlight are going to do and how it will effect my son, I need to be far more worried with what I am doing and how my example and how my actions are going to effect him. I’m a far more prominent force in his life and I plan to ensure that I am someone who he can look up to, strive to be like and is proud of. To my son and my future children I can be FAR better than any President.

xoxo

ceeceesparkles